Intro Chapter - Preview

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Introductory Chapter

"Please... there has to be a way, I have to end this" Hongjoong whispers to the phone. His voice sounds desperate and his throat hurt so bad he had to use all his might to make himself be understood through his sobs.

He would do all he could to get his point across even if it hurt, he had to find a way to end all this pain, if he managed to put up with all this a little longer, insist a little more, soon it would be hopefully all gone. That was what kept him moving forward while his heart broke into million pieces in his chest.

Hongjoong had made a huge mistake, one single bad decision, supposed to make him feel better, has started to drown him in his own sorrow, dragging him deeper into this hell on earth, it hurt so much there wasn't much time to even think of regret, there was only one option left. He had to fix this before it drives him insane.

Both his hands are shaking viciously. The left one wipes away the tears falling like two streams down his restless face, only to smear them all over it while his hands wouldn't stop shaking. The right one holds the phone to his ear as he's extra careful to not drop it and listens to every word being said, once the person on the other side finishes, he tries not to lose hope as frustration hits him once again. This isn't working... he locks the thought away. He was not giving up. He speaks once more.

"Listen, there's absolutely nothing wrong with me or... Him, I just can't do this anymore..." He's surprised his voice came out without a stutter or sob, but only for that moment, as he tries to keep things contained and breathes out casually, a hard sob comes out along with it and the person on the phone takes the pause as a hint to keep asking questions in a worried tone. He cuts them off, he would have to make sure they understood what he wanted was very simple.

"Nothing happened!" his voice goes up a few tones and he's startled by his own lack of self control, he sighs and decides to just go for it and get his point across once and for all. "It just wasn't what I needed, I thought I would get better and live my life. This is just not the same as it was... and I know it'll never be please... Anything, I'll take anything..." Hongjoong's left hand covers his eyes while his fingers press on his lid trying to contain his stress and compose himself. He feared they wouldn't be able to help him as time went by and their answers weren't what he needed.

What if there was nothing they could do? He understood that could be a possibility, but he needed to try something. Anything. So he composed himself - the best he could - and opened his mouth to speak, he had to try again, he had to fix all this.

"I know you can't do much, but please, you must know how he works better than I do, isn't there anything at all? No one needs to know. None of you have to be involved. I'll even do it myself, I need to end this once and for all."

The voice on the other side answered back and his ears were filled by an hesitant tone as it began to speak again. "T-there is? Go on." He asks as soon as the voice on the other side pauses hesitantly, signalling for it to proceed, his tears started to dry out and he sniffed his last sob, pressing the phone harder onto his ear, not wanting to miss a single word. This might be it.

"I don't care if it's expensive. Wh-where can I g-get that...?" He cleared his throat quietly trying to stabilize his shaky voice as his whole body started to get agitated, not only from the pain now, but from anxiety, hope.

After quietly listening and making sure no more information was left to be said, his eyes sparkled, but had something to confirm first. "If I d-do that... he's never coming back, right? I... I had tried ending things nicely before... Nothing worked..." As the voice answered, he sighed and a small relieved smile formed on his lips, he hasn't smiled in a long time, although now, finally, there was hope. And he would take any chance he could get. This was it.

"Thank you, thank you so much, you have no idea- finally I-..." he paused as tears threatened to come back and took a deep breath. He needed to sort his thoughts, trace his plan. Then, another thought crossed his mind. There was one more thing he would have to take care of. "I just need to ask you one more thing. After it's all... done... What...." He swallowed finding it hard to get the final words out of his mouth as he felt his body shiver at the raw reality of what he was planning to do hit his mind. But there was no other way, he had to do that. "What... do I do with his body?"

To be continued...

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