Let You Go - K.HJ + S.MG (Ateez Short Story)

Chapter 3

A/N: This chapter is a shorter one (as the others should also have been lol), keep in mind that I said the story was supposed to be confusing for a while, so if you're confused, that's the plan haha <3

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WEDNESDAY

The sun rises up higher in its way to the middle of the sky, shifting the angle it shone down on earth, and on Hongjoong's car.

The sunlight found its way through the car windows, hovering over Hongjoong, making his tired eyelids glisten along with his face.

The blonde blinks uncomfortably and winces from the direct light and warmth beaming through his eyelids, and shuts them back tight in an attempt to stop anymore clarity from hurting his pupils.

Covering his eyes with the shadow provided by one of his hands he had brought up and supported on his forehead. His head turns to both sides, eyebrows furrowing as he notices he's not home, he's in his car, and that's where he had slept last night.

Sitting back up on the car seat, he takes the hand covering his eyes away, after properly adjusting them to the brightness of the new day, and touches a button somewhere on his car panel and his seat automatically lifts back to its original position.

No nightmares today, he finally realises that now, along with how much his back ached from his unusual sleeping spot. Despite the soreness on his body, tonight was without a doubt one of the best nights he's had in a long time.

"Violet. Time and date." He commands out loud, to which an electronic voice answers back.

"Good morning, Hongjoong. Five, forty-five A.M. - September, the fourth." Hongjoong cringed for two reasons, he had to be at work in two hours and a half, and it was really September 4th, which meant yesterday really had happened.

His mind immediately wanted to bring memories back, as the single thought triggered it to make connections, but Hongjoong just shook his head a couple times, not willing to think about anything right now.

A brand new day, he felt rested and ready for any possible psychological torture today had in store for him, only this time he was not so determined to make things work at his mental health's expenses. The past couple of days, specially yesterday, had got him out of the mood for swimming in his own misery, and today was one of those days where he was just too tired for that.

"Violet, take me home." The car panel immediately lit up, a small screen to the right loaded his way back home on its GPS.

"Sure, Hongjoong. We will arrive in thirty-five minutes. Ready to go after fastening the seat belt." The system's voice echoes in the car and Hongjoong sits upright and holds his position, not long after he's still and properly seated, the seat belt fastens automatically across his chest and the car takes off.

-x-

Once home, Hongjoong gets inside and goes straight upstairs to the bedroom and into the bathroom to take a shower. Glad he hadn't crossed his way with the other who also lived here.

After finally showering, dressing up, and ready to head out, Hongjoong decides to go downstairs, mentally ready to face reality now.

"Joong, you're home. Good morning, how do you feel today?" A deep voice greets him as he enters the kitchen and sees the tall man standing there with nothing else but a single smile on his face. "Do you want me to cook you breakfast?"

"Shut up." Hongjoong snaps back without a single patient to deal with the other's creepy bluntness to everything that happens between them. "Sit the fuck down, stop being creepy. Were you standing there the whole time until I got home?"

"Of course, love. I'm sorry. Was I not supposed to be standing here? I have already done what you told me to do yesterday." The taller tilts his head wearing a curious, but serious look on his face. Hongjoong halts in place for a second, one hand holding the fridge's door open while the other held a glass jar full of milk.

"Just- just shut up and sit down." Hongjoong commands simply, not caring to watch the other follow his instructions, as he prepares a bowl of cereal, pouring the milk in it and sitting down at the island counter a few stools away from Mingi.

The kitchen falls silent while Hongjoong digs in and chugs the food down carelessly. He was starving.

"He would never have done what you did yesterday. He was so spontaneous and fun..." Hongjoong breaks the silence and brings another spoon to his mouth, smiling sadly as he chews on it. No one interrupted him, as expected, so he continues talking after swallowing the food. "He would never watch me get pissed like that and just let me go. I'm tired, you know? I miss him."

"Are you talking about me?" The male finally speaks up, the command to shut up would always be broken by another question.

"No." Hongjoong wants to protest the question, but quickly takes it back and sighs in defeat. "No, I mean, yes... I'm talking about Mingi."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I can only base my future actions on what I have on my past and our present interactions." The male spoke softly, but emotionless. "If you could suggest more of my behavior, my future actions would become better and closer to what I should act like. I won't let you go next time, does that sound good to you?"

"No, it doesn't. That's not the point here." Hongjoong takes the last bite of his breakfast and pushes the bowl away, his muscles tensing up from the frustration of this stupid conversation he had started himself.

"Joong, love, I don't understand. You've always guided me well, but you keep contradicting yourself now. You won't tell me what you want me to do, how to act more like myself. You keep missing him, while I am right here. Let me help you." Mingi walks over to the shorter and hugs him from behind.

"I really thought this would help..." Hongjoong looks down at the arms around his torso and brings both hands up to caress at the warm and smooth skin.

He closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling. Tears well up behind his lids and threaten to fall, but he does his best to keep them there. He feels sad in a weird way, it's like everything is the same again, but it'll also never really be.

This feeling, this moment, it's like a reunion and a farewell at the same time.

He has reached for Mingi everyday, for the past five months. He even managed to grasp him, but he'll never be fully there.

"I don't know what I want you to be anymore, I can't tell you anymore about yourself. Only him would know what to do now." A single tear breaks free from his eyes as he talks, looking out the window, at nowhere in specific.

"What do you need me to be? Tell me, and I will be it." The taller's deep voice asks with genuine care for the older, and gently rubs his mouth onto the top of Hongjoong's head, kissing it.

Hongjoong stays silent and gets up, breaking their embrace. Then, he walks over the entrance, grabbing all he needs to grab before heading out to go to work, leaving his lover silent, standing there by himself. Never saying anything back.

There was nothing to be said.

Hongjoong didn't want to think of what he needed right now, everything he thought he needed, had only proven him to be the complete opposite of that. In the worst way possible.

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A/N: So this chapter... I ended up changing it a lot, but I'm not sure how I like it right now, it's not what I had planned at first, but I think I like it? lol

Any thoughts so far?

Thanks for reading and I hope you're excited for the rest ;)