Let You Go - K.HJ + S.MG (Ateez Short Story)

Chapter 1

MONDAY

Hongjoong wakes up with a startled gasp coming out of his own mouth. As his body forces him to regain consciousness, he notices his wet skin, heart being fast and heavy breathing.

He blinks a few times letting his eyes adjust to the darkness surrounding him as he's able to recognize his bedroom, which for a second didn't feel familiar at all.

The sun hasn't risen yet. He sighs and feels his body calming down as it senses nothing to be alarmed for anymore. Another nightmare, Hongjoong says in his head, feeling his temples pulse painfully as another morning headache makes itself present. He honestly can't really tell if he'd rather face the nightmare in his dreams, or in real life.

The irony of it all is that his dreams were perfect. They consisted of the most precious, beautiful and joyful memories of his past, their past. A time before everything went wrong in his life, a time when he felt happy, loved, complete. With Mingi, his boyfriend.

But those moments were all in the past now, though he missed them so much - him, so much - he was afraid of admitting things would never be the same.

It felt unreal to Hongjoong, that they were so perfect, but not meant to last. They weren't meant to be together forever, and instead of accepting that reality, Hongjoong only made it worse, opening up doors that would lead him straight to hell on earth. He did it to himself.

But he had sworn to his life that he'd never let him go, that he'd do anything to have him in his life, forever. He had tried so hard to make that happen, but the reality was starting to sink in, - all his efforts only made the lovely memories of their past together trigger pain. Whether he was wide awake, or asleep, it all became a nightmare.

A single tear rolled from his left eye, into his hairline, and he notices it followed a trail easily, he probably had cried in his sleep as well. He sobs lightly at his own misery, but soon lets out another startled gasp as the silence is finally broken by a deep voice coming from somewhere next to him.

"You're up early, baby, are you ok?" The familiar voice asks, but Hongjoong brings both hands up to cover his eyes and shuts his lids tight under them, instead of answering back he only sobs harder. "Joongie baby... Look at me, come on" Hongjoong feels a weight next to him, as a warm body pressed itself to his side and a large hand pushes his bangs away from his sweaty forehead.

Hongjoong opens his eyes slowly and mouth and comands to nothing - "Dim lights". As the lights in the room smoothly go from dark, to dim, his tired eyes adjust themselves and takes in the appearance of the one leaning onto him.

"It's nothing, it was just... another nightmare." He feels his muscles automatically relax as he looks at his boyfriend's figure right in front of him, looking so unbelievably perfect. As perfect as Mingi could get.

"I'm right here baby, I'm not going anywhere, you know that." Hongjoong's sure he's happy somewhere deep inside while hearing that, but a burning sensation is growing in his chest and eating his whole heart up, and he has to fight not to make any sound at how much those words now hurt. Because he knows they're not true.

He loves Mingi so much, he misses him so much. His heart clenches in pain, even though his muscles had just relaxed, and he finds himself having mixed feelings once again. His body for some reason feels attracted to Mingi's handsome figure right beside him, but rejects his presence at the same time, sensing something felt off.

And he knew why.

This wasn't the same Mingi from his dreams.

Hongjoong turns slightly to the side, to face his boyfriend. Mingi's eyes were always so full of life and sparkly. He moves his arms up to hold onto the tall man's neck, and starts caressing the skin and hair there. It feels just like it always had.