Loving Him

Chapter 18

    He was looking at her expectantly, waiting for some sort of response so she nodded, urging him to continue.

    Suddenly she felt very nervous, which was absurd considering she'd been anxiously waiting for him to share that part of his life with her.

    Now that he seemed ready to share, he was taking his time and that was fine with her. She also felt the need to prepare herself for whatever was coming.

    When he ultimately started talking, his face was turned away from her and his voice was so low she had to scoot a bit closer to hear.

    "Growing up, I had a happy family, at least at first. We were rich, although my dad had a habit of drinking and he spent an awful lot of money gambling but then his drinking wasn't so serious and he always managed to earn back twice as much, so it was fine.

    "Everything suddenly changed when I was eight. My dad, he just... changed. He took to drinking more, made it obvious he wanted nothing to do with me anymore and worse, he starting hitting my mum."

    Sophie gasped, hating the direction the story was taking already but then, had she been expecting something pretty?

    He continued almost mechanically, his face and voice apathetic as if he was narrating someone else's story, "I'd just stand there, doing nothing while I watch him hit my mum. I couldn't do anything because I didn't want him to hit me..."

    Sophie felt the need to interrupt him, "You were just a child."

    He held up a finger to her, shaking his head. "Don't say anything, I know all that. He was usually drunk when he hit her, never while sober so my mum blamed it on the alcohol. And then one day, she found out she was pregnant.  She was so ecstatic, she thought it was because they'd not been able to have another child after me that'd caused it all, and she thought the pregnancy would be the solution to everything. She couldn't wait to tell him."

    He finally turned to face her and she could see his jaw clenching and unclenching. "She couldn't have been more wrong, he wanted her to abort the baby."

    What!

    "My mum was devastated but she was also adamant she was going to keep the baby. That just made my dad angrier and it then seemed he had a new mission; to beat the child out of her."

    That was just awful. Sophie couldn't imagine how that had been for him or the woman that had to go through all that.

    "I pleaded to her for us to leave but she was so sure he'd change. She didn't tell anyone and made me promise not to tell anyone also. And of course, I didn't. God! Sometimes I wonder how she was able to give birth to Raymond without birth defects but she did and that just made my dad angrier. He refused to go see her at the hospital and refused to see the baby. He left home and switched off his phone. Still, my mum made excuses for him, he was gone for a trip abroad and didn't know about the baby. A few weeks later, he finally decided to come home, drunk to stupor."

    His voice had hardened and from the flecks of emotions she could see despite his attempt at maintaining a rigid composure, she sensed they'd come to the most painful part and she dreaded it. Suddenly, she didn't want to know anymore. No more, please. But she couldn't bring herself to say it.

    His voice was shaky when he tried to speak so he cleared his throat before continuing, "My mum was still weak from childbirth and my grandma had gone to get some stuff for the baby. He was so drunk and the moment he saw that baby... That gleam in his eye..." He trailed off, shutting his eye tightly, his fists clenched painfully.