A Taarey FF-Journey Towards Self-hood

CHAPTER 9- THE CHANGE

The same night.

Kriya stood there confused and worried about what happened in front of her. Taani ran out of the college and started walking on the lonely street alone. The weather had become worse. It could rain any moment. The soundless heavy atmosphere was similar to the heavy heart they bore.

Mujhe Yu Hi Karke Khwabo Se Juda
Jane Kaha Chhupke Baitha Hai Khuda
Janu Na Mai Kab Hua Khud Se Gumshuda

Kaise Jiyu Rooh Bhi Mujhse Hai Juda

Kyun, Meri Raahein,
Mujhse Poochhen Ghar Kahan Hai
Kyun Mujhse Aake
Dastak Pooche Dar Kahan Hai...

Kriya- ye sab kya hua abhi. Mein kaise Taani ki problem ban gayi. Woh itna ro Rahi thi. Uski aankhon mein Kitna gussa tha. Par kis baat ki wajah se....kya mein Swayam se baat karu...nahi but mein usse kya batayungi jab mujhe khud nahi samaj aa Raha ki kya hua hai...universe ji please Taani ko sahi tarah ghar pahuncha dena. Woh jis halat mein gayi I am scared. But Abhi I think usse time chahiye. Kal subah college aate hi baat karungi. Waise bhi woh jaldi aati hai..Abhi ke liye usse sambhalne Dena chahiye...

Deciding to talk to her the next day Kriya left college.

Raahein Aise Inki Manzil Hi Nahin
Dhoondho Mujhe Ab Main Rehta Hoon Wahin
Dil Hai Kahin Aur Dhadkan Hai Kahin
Saansen Hai Magar Kyun Zinda Main Nahin...

Elsewhere Taani walked alone and unaware on the roads. Unable to hold up anymore the clouds had let loose. It started pouring heavily. Such was also the case with Taani. Even she could not hold up anymore. Tears flowed down her face constantly. There is one advantage of crying in the rain though , one cannot differentiate between tears and rain drops.

Ret Bani Haathon Se Yoon Beh Gayi
Takdeer Meri Bikhri Har Jagah
Kaise Likhoon Phir Se Nayi Daastan
Gham Ki Syahi Dikhti Hai Kahan...

Soon her legs were giving way and she sat on a bench near the park she was crossing. Her eyes fell on an old couple in the tea stall. They were sipping tea and smiling at each other. Although it brought a faint smile on her face, that smile was replaced with irritation. Love was not something that soothed her anymore. She started walking again..

Aahen Jo Chuni Hain Meri Thi Raza
Rehta Hoon Kyun Phir Khud Se Hi Khafa
Aisi Bhi Hui Thi Mujhse Kya Khata
Tune Jo Mujhe Di Jeene Ki Saza..

Taani(in mind as she walks)- Aisa bhi kya maang Liya tha meine. Bas thoda pyaar. Kya ye bhi bahut tha mujhe dene ke liye. Krishna ji aapne aise Kyun Kiya. Issi baat se Darr Rahi thi na tum Taani ki Rey wapas aapne past mein chale jayenge. But Kyun? Tumne ab tak ye umeed thi bhi Kyun that he will come back to you. Why did you hope? Why??

Banday tere maathe pe hain jo kheenchay
Bas chand lakeeron jitna hai jahaan
Aansu mere mujhko mita te hain rahe
Rab ko hukm na mit ta hai yahan
Raahein aisi jinki manzil hi nahin
Dhoondho mujhe ab main rehta hoon wahin
Dil hai kahin aur dhadkan hai kahin
Saansien hai magar kyun zinda main nahin