Blindfolded [Complete]

Realized

I watched as Arthit played around the food with his fork. Pushing the peas to the edge of the plate before moving it back to the center to pile them up and repeating the process once more. Not one morsel making its way to his mouth the entire time we sat across from each at the restaurant in tensed silence.

All the while I kept trying to ignore the throbbing pain in my eye after two rather passionate punches as I pondered on how to launch into a conversation that started with Arthit telling me himself that he liked me and hopefully ended with him lying under me on my bed. Words flitting to the tip of my tongue before evaporating over and over again as I wondered how does one segue from apologizing to extracting a confession. Atleast he had agreed to have a meal with me, so there was some hope, right? Right.

Hence mustering all my courage, words I have never ever thought I would need to use when talking to my supposed escort, I opened my mouth, when he suddenly snapped his head up. Eyes shooting lasers at me. His lips set in a grim line before he visibly snarled at me.

"I didn't sleep with Zayn."

"Arthit..."

"How could you even think I did."

"I..."

"I already told you I wouldn't, didn't I. How could you not trust me?"

"Listen Arthit, after that day at the nightclub..."

"I was stupid ok? It was stupid. I wasn't thinking that day. It was just that he offered to...to...never mind. Couldn't you just believe me? You even went ahead and followed me."

"What the hell was I supposed to do? We have the most spectacular weekend together and then you go and randomly talk about breaking or pausing or whatever the crap with the contract. You wouldn't even tell me what the fuck was going on. And then you go and say there is no difference between me and that jackass. What exactly did you expect my reaction to be?"

Wait, wait, wait. What the hell was I doing? Why was I yelling at him?

"Fine. I'm sorry I compared him to you. That was dumb. I accept it alright. But the only reason I asked to pause that stupid contract was cause I know how insanely jealous Zayn gets and I didn't want him making things more complicated if he found out about you."

"Oh but you are just fine with my insane jealousy?"

Was I even in control of my mouth anymore? Why the fuck was I making this worse?

"It's not like that."

"I just don't bloody get it. Why do you keep insisting on dealing with him at all? Just tell me how much you owe and we will close this fucking chapter once and for all."

Stop yelling at him you dimwit. You need to make him accept his feelings, not want to punch you once again.

"I already told you I don't want your money."

Not this crap again. How will we ever get to the things we should really be talking about when we never get past this road block.

Our voices raised in the small restaurant as we kept screaming at each. As much as I want this exchange to take a different turn he was just being so frustrating.

"But you can take Zayn's money?"

"I'm not taking his money dammit. It's a loan. A loan that I'm trying to repay without sleeping with him by the way."

"But with me it's not even a goddam loan. I'm just giving you the money. Why can't you take it and end it all. Why the fuck are you being so stubborn about this?"