Ripping Wounds [James Hetfield]

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

A/N
the prologue is basically a short story about the main character's past so you don't have to read this if you don't want to :) 

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Castro Valley, June 22, 1980

"Lex, would you please tell us about your dream?" said my English teacher.

I was staring out the window beside me, didn't hear the teacher called me. I was thinking about the argument I had yesterday with my parents, before they went to a business trip.

"Lexy, stop touching that thing,"

"You mean, my guitar?"

"It doesn't matter, go to your room and do something else!"

"Why do I-"

"Go to your room or I'll take that guitar away from this house,"

"We've talked about this before, Lexy. Listen to your mother,"

"But you know well want I want to be. You do know that I never wanted to be like you."

"So what do you want? Be a stupid musician? Do you realize that you can't guarantee your future by just being a musician? Oh of course you won't realize it because you're barely 15 years old. Just do as we say to you."

"Psst Lexy, Ms. Harrington is calling you," My chairmate poked my arm. I slightly jumped from my chair and looked at her with confusion.

"Did you hear what I say?" Ms. Harrington said, crossing her arms in front of her chest and looked at me with an annoyed face.

I shook my head, "I didn't, sorry Miss." She rolled her eyes and then repeated the question.

As she repeated the question, I recalled the last memory I had with my parents.
"I- I want to be a rockstar." I answered, stuttered a bit as I heard some boys behind me were chuckling. I know my dream sounds silly even my parents hate it, but I don't give a damn. I will prove it to them that I can do it.

Minutes later, the school bell rang and the teacher told us go home. Me and my friends talked to each other while walking out of our school. We said goodbye to each other in front of the school gate and walked to our own houses. On the road, I couldn't stop thinking about what my parents said yesterday. It really broke my heart. They always hated the idea of me being a musician, even though I played guitar and sing for hours everyday. I didin't have anyone to encourage me, well I used to have one but now he's gone. I had a big brother who was three years older than me. I used to talk to him about everything, joking around, hanging out, and other fun things. But now, he's not the person I used to know.

Suddenly, a boy with shoulder-lenght hair approach me from behind, embrace my shoulder and immediately walk beside me. I'm shocked and almost punch him in the face, but fortunately I didn't because it's Cliff.

He let his hand off of me and laughed, "Why so serious?"

His laughter always makes me smile. It's just so relaxing and made me forget about the problem I had in my head. "I thought I would be kidnapped by you." I said jokingly.

"Well yeah, kinda. Mom's making a giant pizza today and she told me to invite you and your brother to dinner at our place ," He said with a small and soft voice.

"Really? I'll tell him as soon as I get home then I'll come to your house maybe at 7. Is it okay?" I glanced at him who was much taller than me.

Cliff nodded, meaning that he agreed and then say good bye to me. He rushed to his own way, leaving me alone again.

If you thought Cliff and I were dating, you're wrong. We're friends since we remembered. The fact that Cliff was three years older than me didn't bother our friendship at all. My family and his had known each other for a really long time, even before Cliff's oldest sibling, Connie was born. Both Cliff's parrents, Ray and Jan were like another parents figure to me. Cliff, Connie and Scott were like my other siblings, but Scott, the second child of Ray and Jan, had gone five years ago and was no longer here. He was such a good guy and I miss him very much.

.

Everything had been going well so far. It's 7 PM, me and my brother, Connor are on my way to Burton's house. Once we got there, they welcome us warmly like we hadn't meet each other for a long time, which wasn't true. I came to their house almost everyday since we're just three blocks apart. I often stayed here for a night, and Cliff or Connie or Scott would also come to my house to sleep over. Their family was my second home. No, not just home, they are truly my second family.

After we're all stuffed, Connor said thank you and went back home without me. Connie asked me to stay here for a night because I turned fifteen the very next day and she said she had a gift for me. Cliff, as usual, went back to his room and played his bass for hours.

It's definitely a great and normal day, until the telephone in the living room rang.

Jan, Cliff's mother, picked it up. With her right hand still holding the telephone near her ear, her face turned red and tears start falling from her eyes. She's sobbing really hard that everyone in their bedroom rush to the living room to ask what's happened.

Me, Cliff, and Connie stand around her to calm her down. I rubbed her back with a confused face while she's still listening to the telephone. I also notice that Connie looked rather worried and scared, I believe she's afraid to hear another bad news just like when Scott died. Cliff was just simply clueless as everyone else. And Ray's trying to understand what his wife was listening to.

After she hung up the telephone, she hugged me tightly and still crying. Everyone was really confused right now and asked her so many question.

"Oh no, no, please not them," I told myself. I let go of her hug and ask her why.

"I don't-I don't know how to say this, oh God. . ." She tried to talk but she still very shocked.

"Jan, it's okay. Just sit here first," said Ray while rubbing her back and bringing her to sit on the sofa.

We all stood there, waiting for Jan to calm down. After a few minutes, she stood up and squeezed both of my upper arms then said,

"Lexy, sweety, I'm so sorry about this but your parents-" She's still shaking.

"What's happened to them?" I interrupted as I heard her said 'your parents'. I really had a bad feeling about this. I knew what Jan's going to say but still hoping it's not happening. Tears started to run down my cheeks as I thought about the worst thing that had happened to them.

"Y-Your parents had a car accident few hours ago. Some people has already brought them to the nearest hospital, but-" she said shakingly.

"But what?" I continued impatiently.

"B-but they did not survive," She stammered.

They did not survive.

I can't believe what I just heard. They didn't survive? So, that means, they really died?

Everyone in this room started crying. I couldn't say anything and didn't know how to proceed this information. I could feel my face burning and the last thing I knew that I was on the ground, bursted in tears.

The fact that me and my parents just had fight yesterday really devastating to me. I didn't even say sorry to them. I was shouting at them, didn't think about their feelings at all. I just said I hate them because they never really show their support for me, imagine how broken their hearts were when I said that. And now, I wouldn't be able to apologize. I couldn't make them proud. I couldn't get rid of these feelings. Guilt, regret, sadness, and pain were filling me. These were the feelings that lived inside me, forever.

I could never forgive myself.