Snowflakes In Autumn (A Novella)

One

Every morning began the same. In the wee hours, before the sun began its ascent, Faith would wake up in a cold sweat, her breathing rigid and her sheets tangled. Only three things were remembered when she awoke.

Her father's words.

Noah's words and the fear in his eyes.

The gunfire.

Anything else before that and the days that occurred after were lost. Her mother hid away photographs. Not even her older brother, Ryan, had seen a photo in years; not of her sister, nor one of their father. She couldn't remember who Noah was, but his was the only face she remembered from that day.

She'd asked Ryan about him any time they saw one another, which wasn't often, but all he would tell her was that Noah had been family once upon a time and said that he was dad's favorite, and that was when he felt like being generous with the information. For the first several years he was just 'some guy dad knew'.

Therapy never helped. Although Faith hadn't tried it since she was a teen getting into trouble, crying out to be noticed, but she remembered that nothing could help her reconnect with her past. All she knew was that she was a survivor of a school shooting at the tender age of seven and was there by pure chance. The only detail anyone could provide was that her father turned a student in for cheating on his final exam the semester before.

That's why he was murdered, her sister along with him, and eight other students and one police officer. Fourteen injured, but never named.

Faith pulled the damp sheets away from her body, turned the light on that stood on her bedside table, and opened the drawer beneath it. There it was. She'd found an article of the shooting online and printed it off, looking at it every morning after the dream, hoping to stir up the memories trapped deep inside her mind. Her father's photo was first, her sister's third.

Nothing.

Faith shut her eyes tight and tried to force some memory out.

Nothing.

Only flashes of the pictures from the article.

She was told that with time, she'd be able to move on and lead a fulfilling life. Faith had given it fourteen years so far. Still, she couldn't move on, despite the unknown of what was keeping her in place, and her life was far from fulfilling.

Her brother lived on the other side of the state, and it limited their bond to a phone call once a month and two visits a year. Her mother was only a few streets away, but they rarely spoke either. Ryan told her not to take it personally; that Faith was just a symbol of the worst part of their lives. For her, that was as personal as it got. She wasn't even a person to her mother, but a symbol and a constant reminder.

Faith began as the whoopsie baby, born years after her siblings and conceived on accident. A mistake, it would seem. Because now she was two years older than her sister was when she died fourteen years ago and grew to be the spitting image of her. The daughter her mother could barely look at.

Creating bonds seemed impossible. She'd never had one with her mother, not that she could remember, anyway. She was six years younger than her brother and he'd left right out of high school, so she had formed little bond with him. And there was that sadness and shadowy way about her that failed to draw anyone in.

Nearing the age of twenty-one, Faith had nothing to show for life. No boyfriends with only a few one-night stands sprinkled in by men who didn't care about her shadow, currently no job, an apartment that's lease was up in a few days and she moving out of, and no college education minus a semester.

As she grew older, the void within only appeared to grow. No moving on. No fulfilling life. Nothing but an empty past, a dreary present, and an abysmal future. All because of the life she couldn't remember and the day that changed her world.

Faith picked up her phone and looked at it. No longer nearly the age of twenty-one, but now officially. Any other person would go out bar hopping with friends later that night. Her only plans were moving into her mother's house until she found a job. At least her mom was usually somewhere vacationing with her most recent husband now, and wouldn't be around.

She wouldn't be around. Faith would have the house all to herself.

Rather than attempt to go back to sleep, Faith jumped up, took a quick shower, and got dressed before she grabbed her keys and took off to her mother's.