Naive

~ Chapter one ~

Breath in ... breath out. I silently chanted these four words in hopes to help me calm my anxiety and overthinking about all the things that could go wrong today. It was only last week my mama and pop told me that I was going to go to start highschool. For my whole life I have been home schooled and sheltered from everything other than books but only the ones mama and pops approve of, I'm not sure why the choose this but I'm glad they have, they always told me two things through my childhood one; how bad the outside is and two; that I should only behave a certain way. But know they have enrolled me into college to study English Literature and fine art as they both told me that there is only so much stuff I can learn at home. So here I am 17 years old, diagnosed with server anxiety and has never had a friend or talk to anyone outside the house and on top of that have a stammer which makes the thought of talking to some seem impossible. Mama said that she did it to protect me, she always rambles on how I am to innocent for my own good. But this morning when I woke up, I felt a feeling I have never felt before it was nerves mixed with, I think excitement I think the phrase is having 'butterflies. So as I shakily brush my hair and try and regulate my breathing I look at my self in the mirror I think I'm pretty I mean my mama is who I take my looks after and she's the most beautiful women I have soft green eyes, a scatter of freckles over my nose, mama says that they are angel kisses and my lips have a natural pink tint to them. I decided to wear a soft pink dress with my white cropped cardigan, pops doesn't let me wear makeup as he thinks it's to inappropriate for a girl my age and that I'm asking for trouble whatever that means. Once dressed I carefully pack my new backpack. Mama bought me as a treat last week, it is a beautiful lavender colour with embroidered flowers on the straps, once it has my pencil case, notebook, book I'm currently reading and my iPod and headphones I tiptoe downstairs. I can smell the nutty coffee that pops always drinks and mama making my favorite breakfast, cinnamon toast with subtle sound of my mamas favorite radio station playing soft piano music

"Morning sweetheart, how are you feeling this morning " mama asks while serving up my breakfast

"Good m-mama i-i- I'm really n-newvous though"

"Darling you will be fine your mother will drop you off at the school then you go in, get your time table and from their you'll find your class... it's not that hard" my pop answered without looking up from his phone

"B-b-but pop I'm really scared " I whispered

"Nonsense child" he scolded "I'll see you both tonight and Lottie you can tell me all about you first day" with that he kissed my head waved to mama and left.

This routine was normal for my dad to dismiss my anxiety... I think that is the reason he convinced my mum to let me go to college.

"You ready sweetheart" mama rushes out

I nodded yes.

"Shit" I curse out to my room, I cannot believe I am late for practice, when I've finally pulled myself out of bed, gotten dressed and driven to school it's already 5:30 am and practice starts at 5. "Shit...shit...shit" I mumble as I pull into my parking space. When I'm finally at practice coach doesn't waste time in pushing me beyond my limit that bastard has had it me since the first day, I don't think it helps that he know who my dick of sperm donner is. When he finally dismisses us, I head straight to the shower, of course like every day everyone ignores me and cowards behind their locker. When showered and dressed I storm out the changing room without a second glance as soon as turn the corner someone bumps straight into my chest, I can barely hear them when they say "ouchie"

"what the fuck, watch were yo-" I don't have to finish before a flash of soft ringlets speed of down the corridor to the reception. Without a second thought I leave to get to class specifically Teacher Gilbert's English AP class.

Half way through the lesson the door creaks open and in steps the smallest girl ... no angel she's probably 5'1 at most, has the longest hair that falls around her hair in soft ringlets, I cant see her eyes from here but I'm betting their beautiful a soft, shy  voice snaps me out my thoughts

"I-i-is t-this M-mr Gilbert's clas-s"

Lotties Outfit ~

Lotties Room ~

AN//

Hi Loves ! I have decide to change some things in this book, in stead of it being based in college its set in a high school. The characters are in their senior year at school. Hope you all enjoy this short cute story.

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