Shine Bright Shirley

Chapter 23

Grace's POV:

I had a terrible nights sleep last night as I kept waking up and not being able to get back to sleep   for what felt like ages and finally when I did wake up I felt extremely disorientated, not knowing what day it was or where I was and then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  

Today was the fifth anniversary of my mom's death. 

It didn't feel like five years since the last time we hugged each other or laughed together, it was scary how fast these past five years have flew by without her in my life and yet I felt like I was still grieving her loss. Although I am happy she is at peace now and is no longer suffering.

After sitting mopping in bed for another 10 minutes I finally manage to drag myself out of the warmth of my bed to go take a shower. 

I was never someone who spent a long time getting ready in the mornings, especially for just going to school however I did like to make myself look fairly presentable. Today was different though. Today I genuinely just didn't have the will power within me to make any effort into my appearance and frankly I couldn't care less if people judged me, at least thats what I told myself unitl I saw my refelction in the mirror. Safe to say I looked like I had been dragged through a bush backwards. I decide to throw the wild mess that I call my hair up into a messy bun on the top of my head and when I say 'messy bun' I mean not one of those cute messy buns but in fact one of those I look like a potatoe messy buns in an attempt to control it.

Going over to my wardrobe I decide to just chuck on a pair of grey joggers and matched it with a light pink over sized jumper. Comfort is key on days like these. I also put my mothers locket on around my neck as this is tradition I do every year on the anniversary of her death, as it surprisingly makes me feel a little less lonely throughout the day.

After gathering everything I'll need for school and spending a total of 5 minutes getting ready I decide to head downstairs since we should be leaving soon.

As I drag my body down the stairs the smell of burnt toast hits my nostrils meaning Lucas must have burnt his toast again, a regular occurence. 

When I enter the kitchen I walk over the fridge to get some water since my throat feels as dry as a desert. The boys don't see me enter the kitchen as they seem to be too busy arguing with each other over something as they eat their breakfasts, Julia is standing by the oven in her dressing gown as she sips on her cup of coffee while John is no where to be seen. 

Julia sends me a warm smile as I approach her. 

"Good morning honey." She says gently. 

"Morning." I say not bothering to fake a smile as she probably already knowns how I'm feeling. 

"So I can pick you up after school so we can go get the sunflowers together, if thats works with you?" Julia asks me quietly which I'm thankful for since the last thing I want right now is questions from the boys. 

"Yeh that works for me." I reply before taking a gulp of water. "Thanks again Julia." I say softly and at first I think she doesn't hear me until I feel her place her hand comfortingly on my arm for a few seconds. 

After pouring myself a small bowl of cereal since I didn't have much of an appetite, I go and take a seat in one of the empty chairs at the end of the table beside William. I tune out as Logan and Oliver continue to bicker with each other as I stir the spoon around in my bowl of cereal watching as the milk swirls around in the bowl feeling more and more sick at the idea of food the longer I stare at the bowl, wishing today could just be over already.