it was nearing the end of the school day. our last lesson was English, the lesson in which I was stuck with sean having to do a project with him. I honestly didn't know how I felt about the guy. i mean yeah, he was a bit of a prick, there's no denying that. but i was sure he wasn't a terrible person. he probably had a heart of gold. that's the trouble with me though. I see good in pretty much everyone, even if they are bad people.
i was explaining the plans for the project with sean. he didn't speak once, he didn't ask questions, he didn't give any input. he just sat and listened, nodding his head to show me that he was acknowledging what I was saying. he seemed to respect me at least a little bit. I just didn't understand why he was so rude to people. maybe I could find out.
soon enough the lesson was over and we were up out of our seats, leaving the classroom. we arranged the week before that he'd come to my house to work on the project for an hour or two and then he'd walk home since he didn't actually live that far away from me. it was about a fifteen minute walk. I was really surprised that he was willing enough to do that. he probably only accepted the offer so we could get it done quicker and he could get away from me sooner. he didn't seem to like my company, or anyone's.
when we got out of the classroom sean instantly put up the hood of his hoodie. was he embarrassed to be seen with me? probably, and I couldn't really blame him if that was the case. we walked out of the school in silence. we'd been walking together for about ten minutes and we hadn't said a word to each other. this was already super awkward, how much worse was it gonna get when we got to my house?
"so...how are you?" I asked, trying to be friendly. I saw him look around a couple times before pulling down his hood and looking me in the eyes.
"if you're going to talk to me make it about something else. i can't stand small talk." I didn't really see it as small talk, I just genuinely wanted to know how he was doing, but I changed the subject so he wouldn't complain.
"what school did you go to before you moved here?"
"northridge high school." i'd never heard of that school before. it must have been in a small town.
"why did you move here?"
"why do you want to know?" he asked me defensively.
"i'm just making conversation." he didn't answer my question and moved onto something else entirely.
"you're very bad at making conversation." he remarked. I frowned, trying not to get offended by the comment.
"you're not great either you know. you don't even talk-"
"exactly. that's the point." I did always have a feeling that he didn't particularly like conversation. I had no idea why I assumed that. maybe because whenever people try to talk to him he tells them to fuck off.
"you don't like talking much, do you?" I asked. I heard him sigh, which suggested that he was getting annoyed at me already.
"when people talk, they say stupid things. things that they don't mean, things that they later regret speaking about. but that wouldn't happen if people just stayed quiet. if you don't wanna say something stupid just don't say anything at all." he explained. I guess now I had some sort of reasoning as to why he acted the way that he did.
"you think you're gonna say something you'll regret?" I asked, diving in deeper to the conversation. but he wanted to put an end to it right then and there.
"how much longer until we get to your house?" he asked.
"umm...about ten minutes." I expected him to complain or show some sign of disapproval, but all he did was nod and continue to follow me home. from that point on we didn't speak to each other until we walked in my house and entered my bedroom.
when we walked in i watched as sean threw his bag on the floor carelessly. I began to get out the things we needed for the project whilst he kept himself busy looking around my room. at first he just observed the photos on the walls and looked at the trinkets on my desk and I didn't mind that. but when he started snooping through my drawers and looking in my notebooks, that's when i got mad.
"can you not do that please?" I asked nicely, hoping my polite request wouldn't set him off. I opened up the plan for the project and began to read out to him what we needed to do first, but when i looked up to see if he was listening I saw that he was still looking through my drawers.
"can you please just focus on the project instead of going through my stuff?" he looked over at me and sighed before sitting down on the floor next to me. I continued my explanation of what we needed to do, and for a while he listened and participated, but then he started to get sidetracked. he stood up and yet again began to go through my things, private things that I didn't want anybody at all seeing. even mark didn't get to see them and he was my best friend.
"am i gonna end up doing this project by myself? and for the last time can you stop going through my stuff?!" I raised my voice a little at the end of my sentence which made him stop and...flinch? i wasn't that scary, was I?
"i thought that's what was happening. I thought I was just here to give a little input." the only thing i ever hated when it came to doing projects with my friends was that most of the work was left for me to do, because apparently I was the smartest one in the group. they'd chip in and they would help, but most of the time they'd just sit and have conversations while I did the work for them. i let it slide with them because they were my best friends and I loved them more than anything, but I wasn't going to let it slide with sean.
"well you thought wrong. i'm not doing this on my own. you're going to help me. that's what you're here for." it looked like it was a lot of effort for him to admit defeat and do as I said, but eventually he rolled his eyes and nodded, getting back down on the floor again to help me. after that, he didn't really cause any more trouble. a few times I did have to get his attention again because he got distracted by something in the room, but afterwards he was actually pretty helpful. after about an hour he stood up without warning, claiming that it was best if he left now and went home. we'd done quite a lot and he was probably really uncomfortable around me, so I was fine with him going. I was going to show him out of the front door but he ran off and left before I even got the chance to get up off the floor. I sighed as the door swung shut again.
i had so many questions and queries about him, but zero answers.
