Cabin Fever

Chapter 12

Joy awoke the next morning feeling the weight of the world on her. The way she'd treated Curt left a bad taste in her mouth. She pushed herself up and began picking up her things. In a relatively short amount of time, most of the items she'd brought were gathered at the door, ready to be loaded up in the car.

Curt arrived and I knew I needed to apologize. My heart was hurting and I was sure he sensed it. The mood was cool and Curt kept his distance as he loaded up my car. "Thank you." I whispered on one of the last trips back to grab the final items. "I'm sorry, Joy." I nodded. "I know. I am too." My voice cracked, but I was determined not to cry. "Can you lock up? I need to be on my way." Curt kicked the gravel with his shoe, not wanting to meet my eyes. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, no problem. I guess..." Those sincere eyes met mine with a shade of sadness. "I guess this is goodbye." I shrugged, not wanting to care. "I guess so." "Goodbye Joy. It was nice getting reacquainted." He nodded, sure he'd said what he wanted and that this was it. "Bye Curt." I'd already taken off my boot in preparation of driving, so I was a bit hampered by my slowness as I turned to sit in the seat. 

After a quick wave, Curt turned to close up the cabin. I was grateful, because as soon as our eyes left the other's tears threatened to flood mine. I slammed the gearshift into drive and hightailed it out of there before Curt could see.

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For a man, Curt had a fair share of emotions he ran through on a daily basis. So it wasn't uncommon for tears to well up in his eyes. But as sure as four years ago when his fiance had walked out his life, he had vowed to keep his heart closed off. He leaned against the front door, letting his head drop into his hands. "What have I done?" He muttered in agravitation. "You're an idiot Monroe, did you know that?" After what felt like hours, he pushed himself off the door and began to pull blinds closed and secure the locks. Today, more than ever, he welcomed the solitude. His brain needed the space to run free without someone else's voice in his ear. And that was exactly what he got.

He was almost done when he ran across Mike's old Bible. Joy had found it and it was sitting prominently on the table. He plopped down in the chair, flipped it open to read a few passages in Psalms and found himself praying. What felt like many hours later, Curt's spirit was renewed as he set the Bible back on the counter and went to lock the door.  

He sighed as he slid behind the wheel of the old truck. Without Joy around life was a little less colorful. His heart held a twinge of loneliness, a feeling he hadn't experienced for a while. "What should I do?" The question was posed out loud to no one in particular. As he parked in his driveway, his heart had done a strange work in allowing his mind to wander and he wondered if Joy would enjoy a bouquet of flowers. He quickly pulled up a website and ordered some to be delivered ASAP. As he typed out the note, he tried to pull together his ranging thoughts and feelings, realizing once again that words just fell short. He couldn't come up with anything that didn't sound cheesy, or like he was trying to get an emotional reaction. Finally he settled on a couple of short sentences, typed in his credit card info and hit the submit button.

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Over the years I'd flat out refused to fill my heart with worship music, especially after Stephen had walked out. And honestly his escapade this week could have easily pushed me over the edge again. But after my time with Curt I'd opted to see God in a new light. Deep down I knew He cared, but it was hard to walk it out in light of my human circumstances. Nevertheless, I chose to stop my car a few miles down the road and search my app for some music to fill the silence.

The beauty in my Heavenly Father's timing was not lost on me. Through the past couple of years many friends had suggested this song and that, and all during that time I kept a note with each one, but I knew it would only cause my heart more hurt had I pushed myself before I was ready. That's the other characteristic I was seeing about God in a fresh light. He's not one to push us, no He waits for us and our hearts to be in a position of surrender and is often gracious to place someone directly in front of us to guide us sweetly back to Him. But, the caveat to all of it is that we have to be ready and willing. Well now was the time and whether I felt one hundred percent ready I knew I needed to take a step back toward Him.

Soft music poured through the speakers and I let it lay the groundwork for my day before I even tried to dive into calling Nora. I had indeed promised her periodic updates while I was away. Most of which didn't actually happen due to very spotty cell reception. At least that's what I would blame it on. But regardless of the now copious amounts of things that needed processing by yours truly, as soon as I was on the road and had a solid cell signal Sunday I punched Nora's contact icon on my phone.

I wasn't about to indulge her in the glorious details of Curt Monroe until I could see her face, but I did fill her in on my busted ankle. Which Curt had given reprieve from the boot long enough to drive home. But sure enough, about fifteen miles or so into the trip my ankle began aching.

Always the perceptive one, Nora noticed the pain in my voice and offered to pick up some groceries and meet me to help me unpack and so we could catch up.

I've never been an easy one to accept help, but Nora's sincerity and kindness cut me. She was always there. Always. A true sister and friend. Pretty much the best family I had. So I obliged. I mean, really, what was I going to do? Hobble through the grocery store? Yeah, no thank you.

It was just about three in the afternoon when Nora met me in the parking garage. She was my one person who had building access and a parking permit. Let's just face it, before John entered her life, she lived here probably fifty percent of the time.

Nora was parked and waiting for me in her car when I pulled in. She beat me to opening my door and in one quick look assessed my mental and emotional state. "Oh honey." She crooned. My puffy eyes told one story. However, the puffiness and tears weren't solely due to my crazed emotions. My foot and ankle hurt. And I mean hurt. It took everything in me to strap back on the boot just so I could get inside. Nora stood at the car door and took me in and as I pushed myself up, thankful for the steadfastness of my car, she enveloped me in the biggest, sweetest hug I'd felt in quite a while.

Without another word, she reached across me for my crutches, handed them to me and motioned to follow her. "But..." I trailed off. "My stuff, I need to unload." "In a minute!" Nora yelled out from the elevator platform which she reached far ahead of me. "What?" I yelled out, limping toward her. "Just.. you know... just chill for a sec. There's something I want you to see."

I dutifully followed her down the hall to my loft. Of course she had let herself in and unloaded the groceries. Not only that, but there was a beautiful bouquet of flowers and chinese takeout sitting on my counter. I nearly collapsed as I took in the bouquet. Beautiful pinks and whites, mixed with a few yellows here and there. I reached for a counter stool and lowered myself, my breath shaky. "They're... stunning. Thank you." I glanced up, meeting her eyes. Her gaze met mine, but it was not the sweet smile we often shared. The bond between two sisters and friends, no, her smile held a knowing look. Her eyes twinkled. "Take a look at the card." She urged, friendly, but also knowingly. I reached for the card, my fingers almost having a mind of their own.

A gasp escaped my lips as I scanned the words. "Joy, I never meant to make last night awkward. Furthermore, I didn't intend to make things strange between us. I enjoyed the past week and getting to know you again very much. It was a sweet time. Thank you. Hope to hear from you soon. Curt."

I hadn't yet spilled the details of my new friend to Nora, but goodness, was she about to get an earful. "So.... Who is it from???" Nora's face was close, her cheeks wedged between the arms resting on my counter. I leaned my head down, a soft chuckle bubbling up, a sweet smile touching my lips. "Well, there was this man..." I started and took a breath in, pushing myself up. "But, let's unload the car, then I'll gladly tell you all about him..." I eyed Nora, unsure of her thoughts, but fully sure that I was ready to begin unpacking everything from clothes, to my feelings from my crazy week.