ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜᴇ || тѕυккιуαмα ||

11

~~~

"You're so cute." Tsukishima pat my head gently and I stared at him with wide eyes.

I probably looked so dumb.

Tsukki's never called me cute unless he was high.
Seriously, who is this guy all of a sudden.

"What..?" I finally spoke up, just barely above a whisper. He seemed to notice my shocked expression and cleared his throat. I felt the loss of Tsukki's hand against my hair and he gazed down at the paper.

"Stop looking constipated Yamaguchi." He  told me in a monotone voice and grabbed his pencil. "It's just a word." He said quietly.

Tsukishima started moving the pencil, saying something about decimals and acronyms. But there's no way I could pay attention now.

Ever since he gave me that hickey, things started changing.

He called me beautiful
Then laughed in the cafe passionately
He moaned while I cuddled him
Then said next time he won't control himself
He bought me ginger-ale
And seemed to genuinely care
And now he's called me cute

All while being completely aware of himself.
No marijuana.

"Do you like me?" I found myself thinking out loud.

He flinched.

Then silence.

The quiet aura of his room seemed to shift moods. As if something was about to happen— something out of its comfort zone.

My phone started ringing and we quite literally jolted in our seats at the sudden noise.

It was on Tsukishima's bed.

He glanced at me over his shoulder. "Aren't you gonna pick it up?" Tsukki asked and I looked back at the bed.

I can't lose the momentum of this situation.

"Answer the question first." I pressed, trying to look confident. I think I was starting to effect him because he furrowed his eyebrows and closed his eyes, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"Do you really think I'd tolerate you all these years if I didn't like you?" His body turned to face my direction and he looked at me intensely. "Come on, use your brain." Tsukki said harshly.

Any confidence I had wilted away as he stared darts into me. I sunk into my seat and averted my eyes as the sound of my phone stopped and silence emerged once again.

"B-but—"

"Let's focus on the assignment." He cut me off and faced the paper once again. I lowered my head and raised my shoulders in shame.

Before Tsukki could pick up the pencil my phone went off again, making the already thick tension solidify.

He gazed back at me but I didn't move. I let the phone ring.

And ring

And ring

And ring

It wasn't until I felt something drop on my hand that I realized I was crying. I'm so weak.

I started sniffling quietly, still in the same position as before and Tsukishima just watched. I couldn't see his expression but I could feel it.

He's finally fed up with me.

The phone stopped ringing but my gentle sobs continued. Its embarrassing. I've already cried two times in the span of a few minutes—happy or sad tears, it doesn't matter. How could I be so fragile?

As the gasping caught in my throat, I finally moved my hands to wipe the tears. Suddenly someone else's hand was against my cheek. I impulsively pressed my face closer to his palm.

I didn't dare open my eyes in fear of facing Tsukishima's pitying expression. his thumb slowly rubbed through my tears and I sighed tremulously.

"It's okay." He whispered.

I instantly felt anger build in the pit of my stomach.

I don't want to be pitied anymore.
I'm sick of my body reacting against me.

I'm tired of being depressed and feeble— I tore Tsukki's hand off my cheek and wiped my runny nose, hiccuping unevenly.

He stiffened at the sudden change in my mood.

"S-stop..." I looked at the floor, trying to suppress my shaky voice. "Stop feeling s-sorry for me." I told him and tightened my eyes.

His fingers twitched and my face was suddenly pulled forward, forcing me to make eye contact.

"Yamaguchi." Tsukki whispered, breathlessly. His hands were grasped on both sides of my jaw and our faces were inches apart.

He looked angry—and flustered.

"I told you it's okay." He said, his hot breath lingering on my face. "I want to help you and I know you're strong." Our foreheads pressed together and I couldn't help but close my eyes. "I don't feel sorry for you. I apologize if I've made you believe that." His breathing evened with mine and I felt him push forward, nudging our noses.

All the years of being with Tsukki—I've never experienced this side of him.

His hands slid up to my cheeks and I heard him breathe in quickly.

Was he about to kiss me?

I flickered my eyes open to be met with his shut. He began slowly staggering forward.

Oh my god he's gonna kiss me.

Then my phone started ringing again.

His eyes shot open and he pulled back suddenly. We stared at each other and I noticed the red that occupied his usual pale skin.

I was awestruck.

He avoided my stare and started scratching the back of his neck. "Anyways," I watched him glance down at the homework. "Are you ever gonna pick up your phone?" He teased, trying to change the subject.

I giggled softly and felt a tremendous urge to flirt with him. "I only answer when you call, Tsukki." The ends of his lip raised and I moved closer to him, watching his arm lower to grab the pencil.

"Hmm..." Tsukki hummed and began working on the question with a shy smile on his face.

God, todays been a roller-coaster

My phones ringing stopped and the room filled with white noise again. Our breathing and Tsukki's pencil were the only sounds around us.

I assumed he was gonna finish the work on his own so I laid my head on my arms against the desk, watching his pencil move.

Slowly, the sound of graphite scratching on the paper pushed me to sleep.

~~~