ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜᴇ || тѕυккιуαмα ||

21

TW: F slur/homophobia/abuse

The Second Push
~~~

The entire house was still.

And my breathing stopped as well.

The feeling in my fingers started to go numb due to how tightly I was gripping my phone.

"Who's tha—"

"Someone from school!" I said it before she could even finished her sentence. "W-We're working on a project together."

I've used that same excuse for many years—and it never worked, so I don't know what made me so confident today.

The chair I was sitting on seemed to press against me.
Or no, I was being pressed into the chair.

I winced in pain, suddenly remembering the burns on my elbows and shoulders from the impact of slamming into the road earlier.

When I realized she was leaning over me to examine the phone, I quickly raised it to my face, trembling.

"I-I'll just decline real quick.."

I saw Tsukki's icon flashing on the screen for a split-second before the phone was snatched out of my clutch.

My entire body flinched and I gasped, quickly reaching over my shoulder, ignoring the sting of pain that shot through my back. 
Although, she was already out of my grasp.

I couldn't move.
I couldn't feel my legs.

"Hello, this is Tadashi's mother. Who am I speaking to?"

My eyes closed tightly as Tsukki's faint voice echoed through the phone.
I couldn't make out what he was saying.
But I missed him so much.

"Are you the boy he's always sneaking out with?"

The pit of my stomach began to churn heavily. This can't be happening.
I heard shouting from the other side of the phone, and wrapped my arms tightly around my waist.

Then my mom let out a spiteful laugh.
"You won't be going near my son again, faggot."

My body arched forward, shuddering uncontrollably.

That word.
That word.

For the past 3 years, I'd suppressed the memories tied to that word—and it worked for the most part.
But now it's all flooding back in.

I was 13.

And my body was discovering new exciting things.

Like how the tall blonde made my heart flutter every time he looked in my direction.
Or how I'd daydream of him in class. 
And sometimes they'd get.. weird.

I knew I had to keep him safe—away from my mom's resentful grasp.

I loved my mom.

But Tsukki didn't hurt me like she did.
So I loved him even more.

I didn't know what the word meant exactly, but she threw it around so casually.
People at school said it a lot too.