Inner Peace, Outer Chaos| Alex Rider+Tom Harris|

Three: How 'Unfortunate'

Hello! Je suis de rentour enculés! Sorry to those of you who translated or understood that. Okaaay, anyways, thanks for reading so much so far, and stay tuned I guess! Also, I'm throwing Sunday updates out of the window. I'll update when I can, and try to get at least one a week. Hope you're well, lovely people!
~HJ
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I've never liked life at home. I spend a lot of my time outside, or with Alex. Now, with the divorce and my brother moving to Venice, I hate life at home.

I'm lucky, though, I have Alex, a beacon of hope and a brilliant friend. Since Jack never minds, I practically live there. I sleep over 5-6 nights a week, to begin with. Sometimes we get the air bed out, sometimes I go in the guest room. But the best of times are when me and Alex top-and-tail. Last time that happened, there was an inexplicable occurrence. Buckle up cowards, I'm taking you for a ride.

I WOKE UP AND HE WAS CUDDLING ME LIKE I WAS HIS FAVOURITE TEDDY! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN THE NIGHT BUT THAT IS HOW WE WOKE UP!

ok, i might have been a little excited... and may still be... you don't know anything!

To be honest, I seriously suspect Jack was a factor. Scratch that, I'm sure of it. When we were eating breakfast, there was a shit-eating grin plastered on her face, and every time Alex looked away she'd raise her eyebrows at me.

My phone rings, abruptly pulling me from my daydreams. The Caller ID is Mum, so that's a shocker. Nevertheless, I answer.

'Hey Mum! What's up?'

'Oh, nothing much...' she trails off near the end of the sentence. Oh God. Nothing much? It's bombshell time.

'Why are you calling?'

'Well... uhh... your father and I are just going over a bit of a tough patch... you might have to stay with your Auntie Hortense for a week or so,' My. Lord. Anyone but Auntie Hortense.

'No! I mean- it'll be fine, just give me a minute,'

I hold my hand over the receiver and look over at Alex. I explain the situation and ask if I can stay with him instead.

'Tom! Are you kidding me? Of course you can stay. It actually surprises me that you asked,'

I thank him, and he tells me it's no problem.

'Don't worry Mum, I'll be staying with Alex,' I tell her, turning my attention back to the phone.

Then I hear my dad's voice in the back.
'Sure honey,' says my mother, 'but I'll have to go now,' and she promptly hangs up. I'm used to it by now, but the fact that she completely does not care still stings.

Sensing that something is wrong, Alex puts a hand on my arm. I try not to lose it. Keyword: try.

'Hey, are you okay? That didn't sound like a positive phone call,' I'm surprised that he cared enough to listen. In any case, I'd usually brush him off and tell him that I'm fine, but today something compels me to tell the truth.

'Not really. I have to stay with you for a week because my parents are too busy fighting to take care of me,'

'Fuck them.' he says, in pure Alex style. 'Well, I'm too busy not fighting to not take care of you!' he says this triumphantly, then proceeds to proclaim that we're having pizza for tea, and after that, we're going to watch my favourite Samurai movies.

I'm drawn towards telling him how much that means to me, and, by extension of my rambling, my true feelings for him. Instead, I tell him thanks, and put my arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer to me momentarily then letting go.

By now we're at his door, which he unlocks, then kicks open. It's one of the things I love about him, his utter flamboyance, and how he can turn anything into a joke.

'JAAAAACK! WE'RE HOOOOME!' he hollers, and I (unsuccessfully) try to stifle a laugh behind him. Jack stands, unimpressed(-looking) in front of the door.

'Alex?' she says, in a tone you'd use to speak to a child. 'Was that any way to enter?'

I lost it when he replied. 'You stopped halfway. It was a fabulous way to entertain,'

Jack raises an eyebrow, somehow managing to keep a straight face. Meanwhile, I stand behind them, in a state of hysteria.

'Alright, come in boys'

'Let's go up to my room, Tom,' Alex says.

'Kk!' I exclaim-ish, with more vigour than is socially acceptable. Yet again, Alex gives me a look that says 'wtf?', but continues on his way.

Once we're in his room, Alex proposed that we do some homework, as he has plenty to catch up on. I agree, and we begin.

It's half an hour later that Jack shouts to tell us that the pizza is here. At her call, we walk downstairs, grab a pizza box (the one with no anchovies) and head upstairs.

Alex concludes that we've done all of the work that we can, so he grabs the TV remote, the pizza, a blanket, and my arm. Surprised by the latter, I stumble and trip my way over to the bed. Once again demonstrating his unnatural (but, may I say it, frankly hot) strength, he pulls me onto the mattress next to him.

And, as luck would have it, the spluttering begins,
'Asdr-fffffgh-mehjc-flndstfmnr-w-wgar-what,'
Oh. My. God. THAT WAS WORSE THAN LAST TIME. I sit in silence, but with a very flustered expression on my face, awaiting the verdict.

I was waiting for weird stares and confused words, but Alex didn't even bother with a curious look. He just burst out in a fit of giggles. And, as I've said before, when Alex laughs, you can't not laugh.

'We have got to get you a speech therapist!' he manages, in between giggles. 'You sound like a girl with a crush!'

Oh shit. Oh shitohshitohshit. Shit. Gotta hide it, gotta play cool.

'Omg, nO wAy!' I say in my highest voice.

'LiKe, oH mY GOD!' Alex squeals, mimicking my tone of voice.

Before long, we're squeaking like teenage squirrels obsessed with David Beckham. (I don't blame the squirrels. So don't blame me.)

'Ok, ok, let's put the movie on before Jack sends us to a loony bin.' pipes Alex, breathing heavy to calm down. (I can think of other reasons for him to be breathing heavily, but I'm not sure he'd be to happy about those.)

Alex does all the tech stuff, because I'm technologically illiterate, and HDMI cords are a mystery I'll never have enough time for. Alex crawls back over, spreads the one blanket over the two of us, and puts the pizza box open on our knees. He wiggles around for a bit, until getting comfortable with his head on my shoulder.

That should have prepared me for what came next.