To the Sun, to the Stars, to the Sky (A Soldier/Rebellion AU)

Chapter 19: Back to Stone, To Be A Soldier

Will's POV

Zeuskeepurpanceon was formidable and gorgeous at the same time. The military base used shiny metallic plates along its outside, refracting the glass into a thousand brilliant fragments. The nobles' homes on the outskirts were big enough to fit our entire force. The fact that each home probably only held one family was appalling. [E/n I've never understood rich people. I'd rather live on a farm, in the outskirts of nowhere. Preferably on a mountainside with a view of the ocean. What about you guys?]

And in the center, the castle. Towers climbed up to the sky, to the sun, to the stars, and beyond. Stained glass windows portrayed scenes of fairy tales or semi-historical myths of the kingdom and sunlight reflected off of them to create a brilliant array of lights that shown brightly around the castle grounds. White brick stood proudly, challenging anyone to try to break in.

And so of course the rebellion accepted the challenge.

Right. I began having doubts about how long I would live.

I didn't seem to be the only one wishing we weren't here yet, either. All across the camp, there were tears, grim faces, and whispered goodbyes. Reyna held Thalia's hand and murmured something to her, and I saw Thalia smile melancholically. It occurred to me that I really didn't have that many people to say goodbye to; the one family member I'd had left was waiting in that castle, and we were going to attack him. [E/n What about your boyfriend, you moron?]

My father had turned into someone else entirely since my childhood. My mother and siblings had died from a strange illness that kept my father and I away from their deathbeds even in their last moments. And as his war raged on, it became all my father focused on. His sanity left with the souls of my siblings.

And now he was a shadow of a man. Gaunt. Irritable. He rarely spoke to me, and when he did it was through a drunken choice to give me life advice to never trust, to never fall in love, and to be a strong king when my time comes. He became dangerous to me, and so the servants kept me away from him.

I've been calling bullshit on all his advice and opinions for quite a while now.

I saw my boyfriend mount the hill to say goodbye to Reyna and Thalia, who nodded solemnly as he saluted to Reyna. I read her lips as she tells him to break form, and he complied before throwing himself over her in a hug. It was the first time I'd seen Reyna hug someone other than Thalia. My heart grew warm at the thought of Nico mindlessly showing his love for friends, despite the fact that I doubt it was very common in the army. He was loving. He was learning.

I made my way up the hill to them. It seemed to be an infinite trek.

I took Nico's hand as he pulled away from Reyna. I said a quick goodbye to Reyna and Thalia, and then Nico and I walked back down the grassy hill to the forest together. We didn't know what to say to each other. He moved a low branch out of the way for me and I smiled at his attempt to be a gentleman.

Nico finally broke the silence. "We're not going to say goodbye to each other."

I nodded, relieved. "I agree. We're both going to survive this, and we're going to see each other after the battles. Where should we meet?"

"I'll probably be helping Reyna count the dead; it's a hard job and I don't want her to have to do it alone," he said. "Will you come find me?"

"Yeah," I promised. We fell into another comfortable silence. Near him, my thumping heart calmed down to a relaxing beat and my breaths evened out. Near him, I was safe.

He put his arm around my shoulders after several minutes of this. "To the stars, Will."

I picked a leaf off of a tree. "Why is it 'to the stars' anyway? Why not to the sky or the sun?"

He frowned. "The sun is a star."

I clenched the leaf in my fist subconsciously. "Yes, but I just feel like...like, why stars?"

He smiled and took my hands, leaf and all, and kissed my nose. "Well, then, to the sun, to the stars, and to the sky."

I laughed quietly. "Of course it sounds pretty when you say it."

His smile brightened. He turned and walked a few feet off the beaten path to a flowering tree. He picked a delicate pink bloom off and brought it back to me. He tucked it into my shirt pocket. I reached up to help him, and our fingers brushed.

God, I love this man.

We heard someone calling that dinner was starting so we turned back around and went back through the path of beaten-back brush, laughing. I tripped on a root, and he caught me before laughing this time, opposed to how he had only laughed that day when we went to the river. Typical.

We arrived at the clearing and our laughter died down again when we saw the somber faces, but our grins remained. We made our way to the area Reyna had designated the eating spot, and where she was speaking to the people around her. Everyone was sitting in a grim sort of picnic, so we joined them, noticing Reyna and Thalia had saved us seats near them.

Nico sat directly across from Reyna. His expression turned serious as they began discussing battle plans.

"I don't understand why we don't go through the soldiers' quarters," he said. "If we could steal suits, then wouldn't that be⁠—"

"No, why would we enter the living quarters of a bunch of people who are trained to want to kill us?"

"Reyna, I was a soldier like that and I think I've made it very obvious I don't want to kill you."

She made an irritated face. "Yes, and that's great, but we've had weeks with you. It's almost been a month since we found you; these people will be meeting us for the first time when we march in, and their lives will be in danger if they join us."

"All of our lives are in danger, Reyna. That's kind of the point. But if we recruit them⁠—"

She grit her teeth. "Nico. We're not recruiting anyone. We don't have the time, and it's not safe."

He made a face. "So you'll condemn them by leaving them there instead? You're just going to let them be killed and tortured like they were before? I thought this rebellion was supposed to save people, Reyna."

She was glaring daggers. The table had gone silent. "We're saving lives just by having this rebellion, but it's complicated and⁠—"

"You say that, but you're leaving these soldiers for dead!" he accused.

The slap rang out across the entire group. Silence. No one moved a muscle.

Reyna's eyes were wide. "Nico, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to...." She trailed off when he didn't respond.

I was afraid to touch him, afraid he might crumble if I did. His expression was completely blank, looking at the floor. A handprint was beginning to appear on his cheek. My heart was going a mile a minute.

"I apologize for overstepping my mere third rank in order to argue with you, Ma'am. I should not have, and any punishment you or others choose would be just," he apologized robotically. I looked at Thalia, shocked. It was the same line he'd said to her weeks ago. One he must've memorized.

Oh no. We're backtracking. He's going back into the soldier mode we'd worked so hard to get him out of.

Reyna's eyes went to the grass, too. "Nico, you didn't overstep anything. God, I'm so sorry."

Nico's chest rose and fell irregularly. "Your majesty, permission to leave the meal early?"

I choked out a yes, and Nico was up in a heartbeat to leave. His back was perfectly straight. His steps were the exact length he'd been told to take. His eyes did not meet anyone else's. He was a soldier. [E/n Anyone else lowkey (Loki) hating Reyna now?]

I shot up to follow him and no one stopped me. No one moved.

I found him standing in a clearing in the woods. Not attacking the tree with his knife, like he had last time I'd found him like this. He was just standing, staring at nothing. Hand on cheek.

He knelt when he heard my footsteps.

I sat next to him. "You can break form, Nico."

He did, slowly. Hesitantly.

"Are you okay?" I asked gently. His eyes were seeing things I was not. Thrown back into memories. I tried to take his hand, but he flinched so I let go.

He didn't say anything. Didn't seem to hear me. I asked again, and this time he looked at me, fear in his eyes though his face was blank. "It's happening. The poison is catching up, with this attack on the castle. Right now."

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I'm listening to On Love: Eros as I'm preparing this chapter, it's a fun song.

Are there any other otaku's reading this? If so, I would love to have a weeb discussion. Just tell me a fandom and we can chat. 

- Chris