Play Me | BXB

sixteen

I don't remember myself running this fast.

Outside of the dressing room were a lot of people. School's halls were full, buzzing with them. Some even came to me to congratulate me on the game, at least I think they did, because I didn't hear a thing. Everything was pitch black in my eyes, my head was spinning and I wanted to throw up.

I spent so much time in that shower thinking about what people will say when they see me with Elliot, while he was there alone and unprotected.

When I finally got out of the school, I couldn't see my car. I thought I remember where I put it, but it wasn't there.

Other cars were driving past me, people were talking and laughing, and I felt the world shrinking in for me.

"Fucking, idiot! Think!" I yelled, hitting a rock with my leg.

Behind the school!

When I finally saw them, I felt such anger I've never felt before in my entire life.

Isaac had Elliot pinned down on the ground with one of his legs on his back. He was saying something, but I couldn't understand what yet.

"Get the fuck away from him!" I screamed, getting closer to them.

"Damian!" I heard Elliot saying and my heart broke.

I will never let this happen again! Never!

I moved so quickly that I surprised myself. Before Isaac could even turn around to see who's coming, my fist was already in the air, aiming for his neck right next to his jaw.

Isaac got pushed away from Elliot immediately. He rolled down on the ground, holding his neck, swearing, while I started to walk towards him.

"Hey, hey, hey! Look, okay! Chill, man, I was just joking with him!" he lifted his hands up and squeezed his eyes ready for another punch.

I felt powerful. I enjoyed him being this scared and miserable.

"Damian, let's go okay?" suddenly I felt Elliot's hands around my shoulders, pulling me back. He pressed his head against my back and tightened his grip around me that it almost hurt, his breathing was fast.

I closed my eyes, letting his touch calm me down.

Elliot is okay! He's here!

"You're okay, baby' You're okay?" I turned around in his arms and pulled his body close to me, feeling his face go in my chest and collar bone.

"I'm okay!" I heard him smiling between his words and I exhaled for what it seemed like for the first time in like 10 minutes.

"Let's just go, alright?" he looked into my eyes.

He had been crying.

I pushed his hands around me away and started to walk towards Isaac again, who was still on the ground, now sitting and watching us.

But Elliot's hands were back again. His grip was so tight on my arms, that my breath got stuck.

Some other time I will probably joke about him showing me this much strength in bed.

I already knew that I will not hurt Isaac anymore. My breathing was almost calm again and Elliot was here with me. We were okay!

"He is not worth it! Don't become like him. Damian, look at me for fucks sake! You are not him, you don't go around punching people in the face, okay? Now let's get into the fucking car and forget about it. I'm okay, he didn't do anything, because you came, okay?" Elliot was whispering, while we were looking into each other's eyes, getting lost in them.

"Look, I'm sorry guys, I'm just.." I heard Isaac saying behind us, so I turned around one last time.

"Don't you dare to say a word to me ever again!" I said, looking at him.

He looked so sad, broken, in the midst of breaking in tears actually.

I didn't know what's his deal and why he acts the way he does all of a sudden, but there is no reason in the world for harming another person just because of his sexuality, so I didn't care about his reasons.

I took Elliot's hand and opened the car's door for him, making sure he gets in and closed it after him. I started the engine and we drove out on the road in complete silence. I was still holding his hand in mine.

"I'll quit basketball!"

"Damian, no you will not!"

"Excuse me? Now you're going to fucking defend him?" I yelled again, feeling the blood pulsing in my veins.

"I saw you on the court today, alright? Damian, basketball is the one thing that makes you feel alive when nothing else in the world seems to help anymore." he said, finding my hand again.

"I think so, at least." he chuckled.

If someone would ask me why I play basketball, this is exactly what I'd feel but would not know how to put it in words.

Traffic lights were shining on his face, making him even more beautiful.

"Quitting is never an option. That's weak and you are the strongest person I know."

"Isaac is not the first nor probably the last one who is going to hate me for what I am, but so what? Am I supposed to stop living my life because of that?"

"How did I get so fucking lucky?" I whispered, looking at him, wanting to kiss him.

I want to kiss him every time I see him now, if I think about it.

"Finding your actual self and coming to terms with it is never easy. I know it, because for me it was not easy at all. And I know how fucking difficult it makes your life. Last spring, when something really bad happened, I was ashamed of who I am, I wanted for it to stop and honestly I wanted to die. So I'm not going to make that decision for you nor push you into anything, we can tell people when you are ready and only then."

Did he just say that he wanted to die?

I squeezed my eyes, feeling the tears forming into my eyes.

What could have happened so bad last spring? Will he ever tell me?

But if he ever will, it's not going to be tonight.

Tonight we are going to celebrate that we are on a date, kind of, that we are young, that we don't give a fuck, and that we are here, alive, together.

"So, um, let's listen to Frank Ocean or something?" I said, chuckling a little, seeing his face light up with a smile.

"Nah, let's go for Nicki Minaj or something!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands, making me laugh.

When I turned it on, he started to rap along starting with the first line, jumping around in his seat.

"Let's turn this up!" he screamed and I bursted in laughter until my stomach started to hurt.