The Guy With The Gun - Caleb (Blood) x Hazbin Hotel

Just a Pinch of Chaos

"Come on toots. I'll make it worth your while.." Angel said, fluffing up his non-existent cleavage.

"No." Caleb replied. This girl just would not leave him the hell alone, and he was this close to pulling out his boom-stick and shooting her in the head. "For the last time, I am not going to give you my napalm launcher."

"Come oooonnn... I just wanna go have some fun with-!" Caleb grabbed his neck.

"For the last time.. that weapon.. is NOT. A. TOY. It can cause serious damage. I'm all for going out and indulging in your desires, but the napalm launcher is no dice! It can kill you, AND your dumbass friends." Caleb growled.

He would love to see this girl dead, face blown in and melted by napalm, but that would put a whole thing on his hands because the people at this hotel like her and blah blah.

He didn't feel like putting a target on his back at the moment. He released Angel's neck, and he took in plenty of deep breaths.

"Sigh.. fine." He replied. Caleb nodded, and smiled.

"Now... go have fun." Caleb handed him a bundle of dynamite.

What? Everyone knew how to play with dynamite, and the proper precautions to take. And Caleb was always up for a little chaos.

Angel's eyes sparkled like a kid on Christmas. She took the dynamite, kissed Caleb on the cheek, and ran off.

Caleb wiped his cheek. "I hope she never does that ever again."

"Who? And what?" Charlie asked, walking into the room.

"Angel.. she just kissed my cheek." Caleb replied.

"She? Angel is a guy." Charlie said.

Caleb felt his world shatter. Angel was a homosexual?

Look, despite the time period Caleb comes from, he's not actually homophobic. After all, Gabriel, one of his best friends, was a homosexual.

Speaking of Gabriel.. he still felt bad for killing him. But it was the only way to become strong enough to beat Tchernobog.

Hopefully, in the afterlife, Gabriel understands.

"Wait.. afterlife!" Caleb shouted. Charlie was momentarily frightened at the outburst. Caleb coughed into his hand. "Sorry about that... but, I might be able to see Ophelia.. and Gabriel and Ishmael again.. Tell me, do you know anybody by those names?"

Charlie shook her head. "No. But my Dad probably does!" She pulled out her phone. Caleb was completely confused as to what it was, but he hoped it was a communications device.

She pressed the box a few times, and held it to her ear. Is it a telephone?

A few seconds passed, and her smile slowly faded.

"Hey, Dad! Look.. uh, this is kind of an emergency, so.. please call me back soon! Love you."

Charlie looked at Caleb, remorse in her eyes.

Caleb snatched the phone.

"Hey!"

"Listen here you son of a bitch.. you better call back. Immediately. I have the chance to see my lover, and my friends that were taken from me and killed. If you don't tell me where they are, then I will personally come and pay you a visit... some napalm might like to make its acquaintance with you!" Caleb yelled. He handed the device back to Charlie.

Charlie looked at him, eyes fearful. "Caleb.. you just threatened Lucifer.." Charlie said.

Caleb's eyes widened. But he quickly realized just how little of a shit he gave.

"I don't care.. I killed an ancient god, along with all of his minions.. I killed Cerberus.. I can take your bastard father." Caleb spoke with an edge. He walked away, and back to his room.

He needed to calm down a little.

Caleb woke up to knocking on his door. Groaning in annoyance, he sat up and rubbed the gunk out of his eyes.

He threw open the door. "What?" He growled.

Vaggie was at the door. "Come downstairs. Now."

"No." Caleb replied. Vaggie grabbed his ear and dragged him out. She was surprisingly strong.

Caleb tried his hardest to get out of her grasp, but he felt that by doing that he would just rip off his own ear. Vaggie allowed him to stand up and follow, her hand still on his ear.

"Sit." Vaggie said, and threw him on the couch in the lobby. She grabbed the television remote, and turned it on.

The news was on. Caleb was busy gawking at this device. It was... people inside of a box.

"Hello, Channel 666! I'm Katie Killjoy.."

"And I'm Tom Trench!"

"Today, we've got some big trouble in little Pentagram. Renowned Adult Film Star actor Angel Dust has been seen throwing DYNAMITE at things! Where on earth did he get dynamite?! Roll the clip!"

It cut to videos of Angel Dust throwing dynamite at buildings, children, other demons, and just generally being a nuisance to the public.

Caleb chuckled, and Vaggie slapped him for it. Caleb held his cheek.

"You bitch!" Caleb yelled.

"No! I know you gave him that dynamite, Caleb! Can't you see what you caused?!" Vaggie yelled. "This Hotel is supposed to be for rehabilitating demons, not room and board! If you're not willing to be better, I'm kicking your ass out! Charlie is up in her room crying right now, because she just saw Children being killed on live television. And guess what?! They're dying because of YOU!"

Caleb actually felt bad. Yeah, I know! Caleb! The gunslinging, cultist-killing, nihilistic bastard that he was, FELT BAD! He just wanted to see a little chaos, not the death of children. And he didn't want a friend to cry, either.

Yeah, friend.

"I.. apologize." Caleb said. Wow, that felt wrong coming from his mouth.

"Don't apologize to me! Apologize to Charlie!" Vaggie yelled in annoyance.

"Okay! Where's her room, then!?" He yelled back.

"Second floor! Room 2!"

Caleb stood up and walked to the elevator.

Wait, was he really doing this?