Blood came out from Kyle's chest, the butcher knife landed and made itself a home in the middle of his torso. Kyle closed his eyes as he fell to his back, "Bloody hell, is that how you greet an old buddy?" Kyle joked as he wallowed in pain. "As I said, your timing is as horrible as a man who faked brain cancer to get internet points." Hans said, folding his arms as the helicopter continued to hover down to the rooftop. "Justin, look at me." Kyle whispered at his friend, getting his attention. "What is it?" Justin asked as he kept an eye on their enemy, so close to escaping. "Remember... the Kingsman..." Kyle drifted off to sleep, the pain was unbearable and his body couldn't handle it any more. But Justin knew what Kyle was planning, it was time to be badass and teach them a lesson at the same time. Justin grabbed Kyle's pipe and dropped off his wooden plank beside Kyle, Justin walked to the rooftop's exit door and proceeded to recreate that one action scene. "Manners..." Justin said as he closed the door, "Maketh..." He added as he locked a mechanism on the top of the door. "Man." Justin finished off as he locked the mechanism at the doorknob. Hans and his two guards stood idly, confused as to what's happening. "Do you know what that means?" Justin asked, looking at the door's glass to watch his enemies' movements through its reflection. They continued to stare blankly, still idle and confused. "Then let me teach you a lesson." Justin said in a deep voice, he turned around quickly, raised the arm that carried the pipe, and then threw it forward, the pipe shot towards a guard, penetrating through his face and killing him. "What the hell?!" Hans yelled in horror and confusion as he stared at the guard on the floor, blood spilling from his head. "Are we going stand around here all day? Or are we going to fight?" Justin continued, walking towards the remaining two men, waiting for their next action. "Screw it!" The big and strong guard yelled as he ran towards Justin, his fist charging behind him, waiting to be thrown onto Justin's squishy but tough body. As the guard threw his right arm forward, trying to hit Justin, Justin dodged to the front of the guard, shocking him. Justin kicked him on the chest, making the guard stumble backwards, it only enraged him and made him more deadly. The guard recovered, pulled out a swiss army knife from his back pocket, then proceeded to try and stab Justin.
Justin blocked the arm that tried to stab him with his own arm, then proceeded to punch the guard's gut with his other arm. The guard was relentless though, he lifted Justin up above his head. "Woah! What the hell?!" Justin yelled in confusion. The guard started to walk towards the rooftop's ledge, planning to throw Justin down into the zombie-infested fort. "Oh no." Justin whispered to himself as he closed his eyes, not wanting to witness his own gruesome death.
The guard laughed, he could feel Justin's body tremble, he reared back both his arms, then prepared to throw him overboard.
"Bugger off!" Someone from behind yelled as a butcher knife was thrown into one of the shoulder blades of the guard, rendering his arm disabled. It was Kyle, he had taken off the knife and thrown it into the guard with his last bit of strength. As he made eye contact with the guard, he fell down onto his back, collapsing from both exhaustion and pain. Justin was still in the air, but the guard couldn't keep lifting him up with only one arm, he threw Justin to the sides, targeting Kyle next. "No!" Justin yelled as he slid towards another ledge, this time farther from Kyle. He watched the guard slowly walking to Kyle, snickering, wanting revenge for disabling his arm. Justin stood up, then ran towards the guard, but he knew it was too late. The guard raised his arm above his head, clenched his hand to form a fist, then threw it downwards right at Kyle. "No, No!" Justin yelled as he closed his eyes, not wanting to see his friend get crushed by the enormous strength of his enemy. When a moment passed, and not a single bone crunch or a groan came out, Justin opened his eyes. John was there, fending off the guard. Behind them was the door kicked open towards the wrong side. "John? How did you get in--" Justin asked but was immediately interrupted by John. "Hans is escaping on a helicopter, get that illiterate retard!" John yelled as he tried to fight off the muscular guard.
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Apocalyptia: Rewritten
Action(This was a story where I tried too hard to be smart, it came out as forced and unentertaining. While it was also fun to write, I strongly believe that the absurdity of the original edition was more entertaining.) Four friends that were never used i...
