Finding Happiness [Wakatoshi Ushijima]

9. accepted

 Friday at the start of lunch I asked Ushijima if he could study after practice. He agreed and at seven o'clock I waited outside the girl's dormitory. He showed up at 7:15 and told me practice had run over. I didn't mind, I was too focused on him wearing normal clothes. I only ever saw him in uniform or his volleyball jacket and shorts. That night he wore a brown jacket over a black shirt with black pants. He looked good. Ridiculously good.

I looked down at my own outfit and paled. I had changed into a Kirby shirt with a teddy bear textured white jacket and black skirt. My long socks kept my legs warm. I looked like a little girl next to him while he could be mistaken as an adult. The idiot was tall.

"I'm starving," he said as we walked to a local cafe. We couldn't go to our spot nor study in the dormitories because they weren't gender neutral.

"Almost there. We could run," I smirked.

He shook his head and hung it low as his bangs fell into his eyes. His hair was getting longer than normal. I liked it. "I gave all my energy to practice. We went against a University today."

"And lost?"

He sighed but it was light hearted. "They posed a challenge but what matters is we got a set on them."

I took a seat at a table in the cafe. After ordering, I texted Boton back telling him what I was doing and he said he'd call later. I turned off my phone and pulled out my notes.

"Have I thanked you for tutoring me?"

His question caught me off guard. "After our first session."

"I'm understanding things better," he poured me a glass of water and then one for himself.

"That's good."

He kept looking at the table, "A friend of mine had suggested you were tutoring me because you have feelings for me but now that I know you have a boyfriend, I'm unsure why you're helping me."

I choked on my water. I took a second to cough into a napkin and collect my thoughts. My face was on fire, "you thought I was only tutoring you because I liked you?"

His confused look had me smiling uncomfortably. "I suppose I was wrong."

I covered my mouth with my hand. If Boton and I didn't start dating would he have continued thinking I liked him? Did he and his friends mock me? Think of me as a desperate girl?

"You suppose you were wrong?" My tone was laced with venom. "You're so full of yourself sometimes. If you knew me or opened your eyes every once in a while you would have known that helping people is a part of what I do." Now he looked embarrassed. "It's not always selfless though," I sat back and crossed my arms. "I have all the faith in the world you will become a Division-1 player. By that time, I'll have a foot in the largest advertising company in the East."

He scanned me, "you want us to work together?"

I shrugged, "maybe. A little networking never hurt anyone."

"You're using me," his voice was barely a whisper. I didn't know why he was looking upset over it.

"You seemed to be okay with using me." I laughed. "Using me to pass English because you thought I was an idiot in love with you. Poor little Akina wrapped around super ace Ushiwaka's finger."

"I wasn't using you."

"And what if I was in love with you?" His head shot up at my question and his eyes seared into mine. "Would you have mocked me behind my back? Pity me?"

I couldn't read his expression. His face was pinched and I knew he was struggling for words. That's what I figured out about him. He didn't explode, he struggled to express himself when upset. He looked away just when I felt like he was going to say something.

"I would have accepted if you confessed," his deep voice was soft.

He would have WHAT.

"You would have accepted...?" I couldn't believe it. There wasn't a single possibility that Ushijima liked me. Not one possibility.

"Where's our food?" He looked around.

"Oh, no changing the subject buddy."

He tapped his finger frantically on the table. His motions and eye movement reminded me of the first time tutoring, where we started in the classroom. Don't push him. I would sacrifice answers for his comfort. We had time.

"Today we're starting unit 5."

Three hours later we were full, tired, and well studied. Neither brought up anything from our earlier conversation. When the bill came, he quickly picked it up. I tried to give him money but he handed it back each time, refusing because he said he owed me. After the fifth time he handed my money back, I sighed and pocketed it. I'd just bring him food at our next session.

He walked me back to the girl's dormitory without me even asking. I couldn't stop smiling. I felt safe around him. The intense feeling of worry whenever I walked around at night was gone with him by my side.

I thanked him and watched his figure disappear when I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to push him a bit.

"Ushi-!" I ran after him as fast as I could. His eyes were bright and wide when he turned around. I caught my breath and smiled with nerves and stood up straight and looked him in the eyes. "I lied about the networking thing earlier. It would be nice if we worked together in the future and I do believe you'll play Division-1. I'm helping you though because...I WANT YOU TO SUCCEED."

His mouth fell open and eyebrows raised. I thought I broke the ace, but then a smile curled at his lips. That same soft smile returned.

"Goodnight!" I bowed, took in his smile, and then bolted back to my dorm with the image of his smile still fresh in my mind.