TRIGGER WARNING: DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, MATURE
Eden's POV
This was a bad decision. Why did I even decide to get out of bed this morning? Every time I do, something goes wrong.
It was 4:56 pm on a Friday, and I was standing outside my old high school, looking at the building, crumpled leaflet in my hand. The wind was blowing through my small frame, my oversized grey hoodie providing me with a sense of safety. I crossed my arms and moved towards the building, which used to make me happy. Now, the grey walls seemed daunting.
I didn't know how I decided to try out this group therapy. Even now, taking steps towards the building, I felt so stupid. There are people, who really needed it. I had everything I could ever need already, so why was I here.
I walked up the stairs and turned towards the lunch hall, where the thing was supposed to take place. By the time I got to the door, I was breathless. I kept rehearsing how to say hello in my head, but that did nothing for my increasing anxiety. I felt like my clothes were too baggy and my hair was too messy. They are all going to look at me, talk about me, judge me.
I was turning around when the double doors opened, making me step back. A man in his forties stood in front of me, with a friendly smile.
"Are you here for the meeting?" He looked at me expectantly. He was a tall, well-built man with friendly blue eyes, that had wrinkles at their sides. He was wearing a simple sweatshirt and jeans, which did not match the image of a doctor I created in my head. A man standing in front of me seemed more approachable.
"I.. Um... I think so?" The sentence sounded more like a whispered question rather than an answer and I couldn't help but think how pathetic I sounded. I shut my eyes and shook my head.
Couldn't I do anything right?
He smiled and stepped aside. "That's great! I am Dr. Harrow, I will be running these sessions. Come in, everyone is already here." He went back into the room, towards bean bags, which were organized in a circle.
I put my head down and scurried towards the only bean bag left unoccupied. I plopped down with a "puff" sound. I was being too loud without meaning it. My hands curled up into fists and my shoulders sagged. I sighed and looked up.
Besides Dr. Harrow, there were 4 other people in the room. There was a girl, around 18, in front of me. She had strawberry blonde hair and freckles covered her cheeks. She was wearing a white summer dress with long sleeves and black converse. She smiled at me and nodded her head. I didn't return the gesture, my nails digging into a palm a bit more. I didn't want to seem rude but I felt that any move I would make would end up being seen as rude.
On her left, there was a guy, seemingly around 19, just like me. He had curly brown hair and green eyes. He wasn't looking at me. He was spinning his black leather bracelet, without a care in the world. He had joggers on, with a hoodie. It seemed cozy.
Dr. Harrow sat between me and the guy.
I looked to the first girl and my gaze turned towards her right. There was a girl, around 14, in ripped jeans and white shirt, staring at me without any emotion or indication that she actually sees me. Her blonde hair went to her waist, covering a part of her face. I looked away.
I turned to my right and froze. I've seen the guy before. His black hair was still as messy as the last time I saw him. Today, his T-shirt was green with a word "HULK" spread over it. He was fidgeting in his seat, looking around. His eye stopped on me. He tilted his head, confused expression clouding his face. I turned away.
"Alright pals, we have a new addition to this group today. I would like you all to introduce yourselves, as we always do, alright?" He motioned to his left, for the guy to start.
He stopped playing with his bracelet and his cold gaze turned towards me, softening after he saw my anxious look. "I'm Adam Blake, 19, I lived with depression for the past 3 years. The hardest moment in my life was when my dad and I got into an accident," He got quiet for a little while, cleared his throat and continued. "The best moment in my life was when the doctors said he should wake up before my graduation."
Everyone smiled and I just blinked. My fists tightening more.
"My name is Eritrea Lillian, I'm 17, turning 18 in a few months! I lived with anxiety and depression for the past year, but I'm almost okay now. My worst moment was," She stopped and looked down. "When I was admitted to the hospital. My best moment was when I started dancing again. " She looked at me and smiled again. I looked away.
"I'm Nicole Carrian, I turned 14 couple of days ago," Everyone around wished her happy birthday before she continued. "I was diagnosed with depression 5 months ago. My worst moment was when I started going to these group sessions," Dr. Harrow gave her a pointed look. "I'm still waiting on the best."
"Name's Carter Sullivan, " Hulk shirt guy winked at me and tilted his head. "I'm 15, but everyone always tells me I'm really mature for my age. I'm anxious and occasionally sad. Weird for such a perfect guy, I know." Adam and Eritrea rolled their eyes, while Nicole scoffed. "My worst moment was when my biological parents put me up for adoption. My best was when mom and dad took me in, upwards from then." He finished with a huge smile on his face.
Dr. Harrow looked at me and I realized I was supposed to do the same. Name, age, diagnosis, worst and best moments. I looked around at everyone's curious gazes. I felt like I was under a magnifying glass. I didn't know why I was here. My worst moments could not compare to what these people have been through.
"My name is Eden June," I shut my eyes when my voice wavered and took a breather. "I just. I don't know what... Or if I... I'm just..." Everyone was looking at me and my balled fists. Oversized clothing could not provide any sense of comfort anymore. They wanted me to say something, anything, so why couldn't I? I rehearsed it every time someone else from the group was presenting themselves. Why the hell was I quiet now?
I stood up abruptly, mumbled that I needed a moment and scurried out of the hall. I was running through the halls, barged outside and ran down the stairs towards the back of the school. I fumbled with my packet of cigarettes, took out one and lit it up.
I inhaled and my shoulders sagged. I put my face in my palms. "Fuck sake."
"Did you know that 44% of the people in group therapy report significant improvements? That's high success rate if you ask me." I turned towards my left, gazing at a silhouette in the far corner, startled. "Of course, you need to actually stay in the session for it to work."
A jet black haired guy stepped out of the shadows, with a cancer stick in his hand, matching my own. I froze.
It was the same guy that I saw with Miles. He seemed even more good looking up close. I stared at him for a minute. He stared back. We tended to do that a lot.
My heartbeat was increasing as he was coming closer.
"Noah Sullivan." I deadpanned.
He smirked, still staring at me. "Who knew that Eden June wasn't so perfect after all?"
YOU ARE READING
For All the Things Left Broken
Teen Fiction"I wish it would have been easier..." "What?" "Loving you." --- Eden couldn't comprehend why it was so easy for others to be happy. It seemed like she had to try so hard to grasp at least a piece of what they had. She was starting to get tired of...
