The Witness

5

Despite my best efforts to avoid going to University, I wound up a full-time student by the end of the day. Of all people, John was the one who convinced me to go.

"Do you work today?" He grumbled as I left the secluded therapist's office. I shook my head in a slight 'no' as he inspected our car. The first time he did that, I asked him why he was being so paranoid about a five-year-old Toyota. His response: he was looking for 'any unexpected modifications to the vehicle'.

Translation: he was checking for bombs.

"You going to the school then?" John sighed as we got into the car. Again, I shook my head in a silent refusal. I had no intentions of going to school again. Been there, done that! John snorted at my apparent disdain and sighed. "So we're going to watch Pirates of the Caribbean again? What kind of girl are you anyway?"

In that moment, I realized how unbelievably boring I'd become. Being targeted by the Mafia had changed me.

I also realized that this conversation was the most dialogue that John and I had ever exchanged in public. He actually...cared that I did this.

"Fine." I glared at my overgrown babysitter and crossed my arms as we exited the parking lot. "I'll go."

John asked me about what I wanted to study, but after my horrific initial musings about what Jess's student lifestyle would be like...he handled the specifics. When we got back to our house, John made a handful of hushed calls to his boss. And then his boss's boss. By the end of it all, I was admitted to UNCW under some sort of diplomatic exception.

Well, not me. Jess.

"You're signed up for an introductory ASL course to maintain your cover." John slid a printed weekly schedule across the table to me. I peered over the sequence of coursework and restaurant shifts as he continued his explanation. "And the Creative Writing course Judy recommended you take is online. We were able to get you into one of the classes you asked about - "

"Italian 101." I breathed, my eyes smarting with fresh tears. At the very least, this class was something that I could do for myself. Next time, I would be able to wow Eric with my Italian prowess. Next time, I would be able to order for myself at the Italian deli he made us visit every Saturday. Next time, I would be able to tell off the teenage kid who cat called me in Little Italy when we walked by with our salamis.

Next time, I would know when it was time to leave the damn kitchen.

*****

My enrollment occurred the week after classes began for the Spring semester. John took me around to my professors' office hours the next morning so that I could introduce myself. Truthfully, we were going so that John could know where he would be able to find anyone who had access to me. I got extensions on first assignments so that I could catch up with my classmates. And I awkwardly navigated the student bookstore to search for wildly overpriced textbooks.

What struck me most when walking through campus was the alarming ratio of traditional students to adult students. John noticed me gaping at a study group entirely comprised of students over forty and elbowed me lightly. "Welcome to a college campus during a recession. A quarter of the workforce is laid off right now, so this is where they go."

I had nearly forgotten that while my world was a hurricane of fake identities and hiding out, others were struggling to pay their mortgages. As we left campus, I pondered over what had been done with my apartment and all my belongings.

*****

The schedule that was put together for me only had me going to campus on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I snorted the first time I realized that the only reason my course setup was like this was because John didn't want to have to drive me an hour each way every day of the week.

My first class meeting was truly mortifying. ASL moved quickly, even the beginner's course. I'd tried to study the movements and positioning required for the alphabet over the weekend, but after 'H' I was completely lost.

Plus the wire that John forced me to wear so that he could 'keep an eye on me' was insanely uncomfortable. By the time class ended, I felt like the dunce amongst my undergraduate peers.

Was this school idea a mistake?

With three hours to spare between classes, I found a secluded table in the library and set to work reviewing the lesson. John strictly forbade me from using the computers at the library; my only Internet permissions would be granted on our encrypted computer at home. With him watching my every click.

But I had to at least try to do my homework. I'd be damned if Jess Holloway flunked out of her fake college experience!

As much as I tried to focus on the homework, my mind kept drifting to places I wished it wouldn't. One memory in particular invaded my conscious mind and persisted until I had no choice but to let it overtake me.

~~~

July 15, 2008

"I need you to be very clear, Ms. McNeill." A stern man in a dark suit stared at me from across his wooden desk. His jaw was set squarely and his green eyes yielded no hint of the emotion that I was trying to decipher from his tone. "Are you certain that you're willing to testify?"

"I--umm--" I fiddled with the hem of my pencil skirt, my voice shaking with fear. The police captain had warned me about what would happen if I took the stand. I'd already handed over the video of the slaughter in the discovery process, which expedited the setting of this court date. But putting my name on the permanent record....

I'd never be able to take that back.

I would always be a target. My family would always be a target. Even my children - if I chose to have any - would be targets. And their children...and their grandchildren.

I would become a public enemy of the Genovese Family. I'd be forced to seek refuge in the Witness Protection Program if anything went wrong. Or - even worse - I could be killed.

I stood to lose everything.

"Ms. McNeill?" The attorney cleared his throat cautiously, unsure of how to guide me in my decision. "The trial is in three days. You can wait to decide if - "

"No." I shocked myself with the resolve in my tone. "I don't need any more time. I'll do it."