Unsent Letters to Justin

15 | august 23, 2019

Friday

To: Justin Reinhart

I swear if they rob us from our day offs again, I'm going to crumple the letters and make them eat it until ink and papers are the things stuffed in their stomach. I'm physically and mentally tired that I'm impressed to see my limbs are still attached. This better be the last or I'm really going to feed them my love letters.

Lately, I've been sleeping early that I have no time to write. I can't eat dinner nowadays since I go straight to bed after I put down my things. How can I not when we have lectures in the morning and have the festival preparations in the afternoon? I practically entered every single class in a span of two hours that my legs felt sore. I don't even remember how many times I've went up and down the stairs if a class needed help.

I really can't blame them because the festival is 4 days away. God, it will be busier than the preparations! There will be sport competitions, pageants, themed booths and my favorite— a whole row of food stalls by the school parking lot!

Speaking of competitions, was your cheer team prepping for that? Against what schools this time? Springfield? Richmond? I heard Baywood dropped out because they have three injured flyers and Immaculate High's flyers got arrested for drunk driving. They placed second place last year if I'm not mistaken.

That means, either Richmond or Raleigh would fight for second place and Springfield will claim the title as champions. It's kind of ironic how it's our home base and we would always end up in third.

Don't get me wrong here but I'm glad Raleigh changed coaches this year. Mr. Euless was a slacker and his dedication to cheer was barely ten percent that I'm shocked to realize that he lasted for eight years. We used to win against Springfield before Euless came that I never got to see that glint of happiness in your eyes as they announce the defending champions. It's a good thing Raleigh reinstated Mrs. Brown or our losing streak will keep increasing.

Luke assisted me today because Kala was sick and stayed at home. Lucky her. She gets to rest and sleep longer than anyone of us. She rarely gets sick so we hang out with her (of course, not hugging or anything since we get infected easily— me and Cherry especially) because Kala isn't used to being alone in her apartment.

I should visit her later after writing this and watch Netflix with her until she falls asleep. I'll probably crash for the night too. I so deserve a freaking break.

Apparently, when she surprised us by joining us last night, it rained on the way and she didn't have an umbrella with her. We thought she couldn't make it to Angelica's house yesterday because she texted that she felt drained that changing clothes needed a lot of effort. We didn't have cars except for Cherry who is the official driver of the squad abs she didn't message her to pick her up instead. That's the Kala way ladies and gents. Stubborn and selfless.

Anyway, back to Luke... I was kind of uncomfortable with him today. Luke's my seatmate right, so when I tell you how awkward it was, it really was. It's that bad that I kept squirming in my seat and shaking my foot from the nervousness. I even kept glancing his way and to yours if he told you what he discovered days ago. But judging from Luke's calm and collected gestures, he didn't tell anyone. Yet.

After that incident i didn't know how to act naturally. I was avoiding him that I didn't care if he noticed or not. i just felt defensive and conscious that I haven't spoken a word to him at all. Just an occasional nod and shake of the head from here and there.

But then the gods must have disliked my behavior towards Luke that his legs gave up halfway while he was accompanying me, making me laugh and forget the awkwardness from days ago. He landed knees first as his face went next, his body planting a good long kiss on the cemented floor.

He at first, didn't find it funny because he just fell flat on his face and the fact that I witnessed his embarrassment. His nose was red but not bleeding as he shyed away from me. You should have seen his fall! And his nose!

I was rolling on the floor laughing like a mad woman until tears stained my cheeks while he dusted his clothes off as if nothing happened. That just made things funnier that the students in their classrooms heard my cackles checked to see why was a person laughing hysterically outside.

Eventually, his deep laughter blended with mine until  our stomachs hurt.

That was the first time since forever that I've laughed so hard that I had to move on from the incident he and I shared. Luke didn't tell a soul anyway because if he did, I should have been receiving scowls and gossips. So I collected myself and our conversation went kind of like this,

"Was the floor a good kisser?" I asked. A hint of humor lingering in my grin.

"You wish." then Luke's laughter died down as we walked to the edge of the wall, the bright colors of balloons and tents as our view from the second floor. "So you're talking to me now?"

My smile was gone that I felt the guilt creeping in. God, I hate it when that happens. Can you ease the guilt I'm feeling for me, Justin? Take it away. Don't let it consume me alive.

I apologized to him repeatedly and admitted that I am in love with you shamelessly. Where did that confidence came from? How I wish I could easily tell you that...

Luke heard my reasons and I begged for him not to tell anyone. Not even his friends but Luke knew his boundaries. He's not the type of person to share such a private secret. He is indeed a true friend.

After the discussion, we decided to stay for a little while and take a short break. They would be fine without us anyway... I guess. I don't know what happened while we were gone but all I know is that an accidental fire and falling didn't occur today.

We admired the scene beneath us as we enjoyed the comfortable silence, just marveling the creations and the busy people below. Sunset was nearing as the different shades of pink and orange painted the sky. It was so pretty that I think I was grinning so widely. You know me, I am head over heels for sunsets and sunrises.

And as crazy as it sounds but I managed to spot you again from the crowd. Among the colorful tones of blue, red and gold, I picked out a black haired boy— a camera around your neck as you had your arms around her shoulders.

When you kissed Mckenzie on the lips as the sky turned dark, I knew you took away the colors in me too.

Sincerely,
Nayomi