"Guys!!! The cows are taking over!!!" America yelled.
There was a world meeting today in Cheyenne,Wyoming currently America wasn't there so naturally Germany took over. They were talking about trade agreements until the world superpower barged in 30 minutes late talking about cows.
"What are you talking about comrade?" Russia asked.
"For once I agree with Russia. What are you talking about git?" England said.
"United Kingdom! This is no time for jokes! This is a global CRISIS!!!" America screamed.
"America-sun, what are you talking about? I don't think cows are dangerous creatures." Japan said.
"Since I agree with America and not Japan, I think we should hear him out." South Korea said.
"Thank you Korea! At least we have one other smart person here!" America said happily.
"You're welcome America, did you know that cows were created in Korea?" South Korea said.
"Shut up Korea!" All the countries (except America) yelled angrily.
"Now America," Germany said while rubbing his soon to be headache, "if you don't have an actual suggestion or concern, I have to tell you to sit down!"
"THIS IS AN EMERGENCY GERMANY!!!" America said while breaking down into tears.
"America, stop this. This is what you said last time after you read that conspiracy book 'THE U.S. OF EH?'" Mexico said.
"NO IT'S TRUE! CANADIANS OWN MORE OF THE MALL OF AMERICA THAN ACTUAL AMERICANS!!!" America yelled hysterically. Everyone slowly turned to look at Canada. Who at the time was crumbling under the pressure of everyone staring at him.
"But this time..." America interrupted, letting the canadian breathe after the attention was taken off of him. "This time it's the cows."
Everyone knew that once America started, he wouldn't stop until someone heard what he had to say. That's why Germany said "keep it under 3 minutes."
"According to population research, in 9 states: Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, Nebraska, North Dakota, South Dakota, Oklahoma, and Wyoming, there's more cows than people. I think that the cows have gotten smarter because of the chemicals in pesticides. The chemicals was sucked up by the grass that they eat. So at this point," America continued, "they have grown as smart, if not smarter than humans and want revenge, because we kill and eat them."
"..."
"..."
Germany took in a deep breath so he would not to lose his cool. "America sit down."
"But-but the cows! They're listening right now! When I drove past farms all the cows looked at me in the eyes, like they knew!!!" America said now gasping.
"AMERICA! SIT! DOWN!" Germany said now screaming. At this America sat down while mumbling about 'the cows will make you pay for your insolence.'
"Now lets get back to global warming," Germany said.
"I thought we were talking about trade agreements?" Prussia said.
"Whatever, we never get anything done!" Germany huffed.
Outside the meeting room, none of the other nations noticed...a cow. A cow with an ear piece whispering "he knows."
YOU ARE READING
America. The Greatest Nation Ever Told!
FanfictionThese are oneshots about one of the most influential nation to ever exist: Canada (just kidding), it's America. As an American myself, I will be writing about my favorite nation and what he does in his crazy game called life.
