The Heroine's Best Friend

Chapter 1 Part 1: Academy Bound

"Miss!" the maid was calling while running towards me. "Miss, wait!" 

Stopping, I turned around and saw Emily, the head maid of "my" father's estate. She was holding a hat with large, ugly ribbons slapping her face as she closed the distance between us. 

Gross. I hate hats. 

I told Lindsay, my personal maid, and the one now accompanying me to school, not to bother with any more hats. Lindsay protested. It's what all gentile women wear out. You can't go in public without your hat. What would the other nobles think? The shock. The horror. The idiocracy. I remember watching those Victorian movies where the ladies had to wear a bonnet out, but those hats stayed firmly in place the entire duration of their outing. But no. Not these hats. The hats of the Voltare Kingdom were a noble lady's weapon! 

Big. Ugly. Uncomfortable. Did I mention ugly? 

Here is what I learned about hats. You spend a lot of money to get the ugliest one you can find. Then spend more money adding the gaudiest accessories you can tack on. Make sure it's so heavy you will need a neck brace to actually wear it. Then you wear it out, other ladies compliment or back-hand compliment your hat. Then whoever is the highest-ranking lady, or the lady in charge, or some other social cue I haven't mastered, takes her hat off, then everyone else can too. Then we talk about how to buy more ugly hats, or extra expensive accessories for hats or gossip about someone else's hat. 

Did I mention they don't wear their hats for more than five minutes? See before mentioned neck brace part. 

Well here comes Emily with the hat my mother made sure had to be extra ugly - perfect - for my arrival at the academy of snobs. 

Emily was getting up there in age. I don't know exactly. It's a universal truth to not ask a woman her age. But from what I gathered, she was old enough to have tended to "me" as a baby. 40? Does that sound right? She has a bit of grey coming through her sandy locks and the crinkle of crows feet at her eyes. Hmmmm. Better safe than sorry. I'll say she's 35. 

"Miss!" Emily said panting as she caught up with me. "How could you forget your hat?! You must be so nervous." 

Not really. Excited? Hell yes. MAGIC! Nervous? Not really. But I didn't want to be rude so I took the disgusting monster from her hands. 

"Thank you, Emily," I said with my customer service voice complete with my customer service smile. God, Goddess, or Kami-sama, I really hate retail. 

Lindsay takes the hat from me to put it on my head. She's not being very gentle. I think that's her sly way of letting me know that I shouldn't have insisted to go without it. After I acquire 10 lbs more, I head outside to the carriage. My mother is outside snapping last-minute orders to the servants that include ensuring my safety, health, and prospective marriage candidates all in one go. 

"Please drive at a moderate speed. Don't let the carriage shake too much. And stay on the main roads. There is absolutely no reason to take a detour. And don't get robbed by bandits! But if you do get robbed by bandits, find the nearest eldest son from a respectable family to save my daughter." 

"Mother, if we are being robbed by bandits I would happily accept help from the youngest son of a reputable family!" I tease her. 

She gasps as I chuckle. Stupid aristocracy. The younger sons have a hard time. When there is no more land or business to will out, they are left to "make a name for themselves." Which basically means military or church. 

"Well, in that case, make sure you ask to meet his older brothers!" She quickly recovers. My mother, Lady Elizabeth Eldergast was still getting used to her daughter's newly formed, playful humor. From what I gathered, the former Christine Eldergast was pretty boring - eh- refined. She spoke when it was needed. Said what was needed. Never had strong opinions and just went with the flow of the situation. 

"Naw. They'd already be married." I retort back. Before my mother can get another word in, I quickly take the butler's hand to ascend into the carriage. Why did all those isekai manga's make it seem like the modern girl had such a hard time adapting to rich snob life? To be honest, taking a hand in and out of a carriage was very practical. The dresses had a lot of fluff to navigate. And the step was not that easy either.  

"Bye, Mom!" I yell out the door. Which causes another small meltdown. "Mom" is not a lady-like way to address your mother. I did it on purpose. 

As soon as the door closes, I hurriedly take off the ugly dead carcass on my head. Let's hit it! It's Hogwarts time!