The Dare

Chapter 3

I step off the school bus and turn back to watch my sister descending as well, she's beaming after her first day at school. I'm glad she seems so happy, even if it's because it means she's able to move on in her life and start it back up again.

Maybe I'm just jealous that she's able to restart and keep moving forward. Or maybe I just feel guilty to have caused this stress to begin with.

"Well that wasn't so bad, I made plenty of new friends today which is cool," Salem says to me, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers. "I hope you weren't all bummed and boring all day, that won't get you any new friends." I sigh and unlock our front door, knowing very well my father isn't home from work yet and probably won't be until past dinner time.

We enter our small home that still doesn't feel like home and I drop my bag on the counter, heading immediately to the cupboard for a snack.

"Salem I made a few friends today...and I was pretty boring the whole time." She laughs and sits at the stool to the island, reaching out her hand as if to ask for a snack as well. I comply, planting a granola bar in her palm and then opening one for myself, leaning my arms again the island.

"Shocking, no offense. Are these friends gonna be naughty eggs like whats-her-face? Amber?" I shrug and eat my snack like hearing her name doesn't put a pit in my stomach. "Well I hope not, I'm not in the mood to move again thank you very much." I nod as if that comment doesn't sting and I watch her swing off the stool to head to her room. "Ps", she calls over her shoulder, "it's cool that you're eating again. I was starting to think they'd be taking you away in a body bag." With that, she takes off up the stairs to head to her room and I have to fight back the stinging in my throat and eyes.

It's not her fault, I need to remind myself for the millionth time, that she treats me like dirt under her shoe. I've put myself in the placement under her shoe, I've done it to myself.

Letting out a long breath I plant my forehead in my palms and rake my fingers through my hair as if to pull out all my bad thoughts. I stand up and rub my eyes, rubbing them so hard that I see black dots on the walls. Walls that will never have photos hung up on them because nobody loves a reminder of a dysfunctional family.

In this house I feel tiny and empty, knowing that the reason the walls are empty and there are boxes of our belongings everywhere; is me. My emptiness turns into exhaustion so I push away from the island to make my way up the stairs and down the hall to my room.

My room is as empty and as not my own as the rest of the house. So far I haven't unpacked anything except my bedding, so my room is full of boxes of my past life. I plop down on my bed and pull my pillow to my chest, peering across the room and at the mirror on my empty dresser.

I look like death, my skin looks washed out and I can see the bags under my eyes from over here. My hair which is a dirty blonde like Salem's is not washed or straightened, it's greasy and pulled back into a messy ponytail. I roll my eyes at myself and lay down, pulling my blankets around me and allowing my body tensions to release.

Suddenly my body is overcome with exhaustion, overwhelming amounts that make me not even care that I'm still in jeans and shoes. I can't believe I allowed myself to look like this for my first day of school. Avery and her friends must have thought I looked like total trash.

With thoughts in my mind about how they must feel about me, what they must be saying about me, I close my eyes and allow sleep to fall over me.

.............

I awake and with a jolt, just sensing that someone was in the room with me. With my heart pounding in my chest I sit up as fast as possible and look around my room. My heart jumps into my throat and I let out a cry, Avery is sitting on my dresser.