the hangover-phil wenneck

four

You stand next to Alan as you wait outside for your car, Phil behind you asking the lady behind the desk to get it sent.

"So, uh, are you sure you're qualified to be taking care of a baby?" Stu asks Alan, who is standing next to him. You glance over, seeing Alan hold his very large sunglasses over the baby's face.

"Well he's not allowed within 200 feet of a school or Chuck-E-Cheese," you mumble

"What?" Stu asks.

"What are you talking about? I've found a baby before," he defends.

"Oh, god. Here we go," you mumble under your breath.

"You've found a baby?" Stu asks.

"Yeah," Alan says. You sigh, kicking a rock on the ground with your sneakers that you had put back on before you left this morning. There was no way in hell you were putting heels back on. Well, if you even knew where they were.

"Where?" Stu asks.

"Coffee bean."

"Wait- what?" Stu asks as Phil walks up in between you and Alan.

"Hey, Phil? I don't think Doug would want you to take the Mercedes," Alan says.

"Relax, we'll be careful," Phil says, looking up from his phone and stuffing it in his pocket.

"You see, my dad is crazy about that car. He left a Doug in charge-"

"Please shut the fuck up," you say.

"Alan! We've got bigger problems here. Doug could be in the hospital, he could be hurt- not that he is, i'm just using it for an example," Phil mutters to you, "Okay? Let's worry about the car later."

"Uh, guys? Check it out," Stu says pointing to the mattress on top of the point on the statue on the roof.

"Is that the mattress from Doug's room? Alan asks.

"Yup," you sigh, scratching the back of your head.

"What the fuck?" Phil says. Phil walks over, getting the attention of the man loading his trunk in front of you.

"Hey, man, what's going on here?" he asks.

"Some asshole threw his bed out the window last night," the man says.

"No shit," Phil says quietly, looking down at him again.

"Yeah. Some guys just can't handle Vegas," he says, shutting his trunk and heading for the drivers door. Stu awkwardly laughs, all of you standing in a slight state of shock.

"Fuck you," you mutter.

"Oh god," Stu mumbles, shaking his head as he turns away.

"It's gonna be okay, Stu," Phil says, patting him on the back.

"How the hell did we manage that?" Phil asks.

"I don't even want to remember doing that," you say as a cop car pulls in front of you, the valet parker getting out.

"Here's your car, officers," he says, patting the roof.

"Oh, god," Stu says again. It tends to be his favourite phrase throughout the whole time you've been here.

"Alright, everybody act cool. Alright? Don't say a word? Let's just get in and go, c'mon," Phil says under his breath.

"Hey, you got a five?" Phil asks you guys as he checks his pockets.

"No," you all mumble.

"I'll hit you on the way back," Phil says, getting in the driver's seat as you get into the backseat behind him.