the hangover-phil wenneck

seven

Alan pulls the lid off the platter on the room service table, a raw steak sitting on the plate. Stu sits on the edge of the dining table, Phil sitting on the chair backwards and hugs the back as you stand in-between Phil and Stu, all of you watching Alan.

"This doesn't seem fair," Stu mumbles as Alan starts to poke the roofie pills into the steak.

"It's rock, paper, scissors. Nothing more fair," Phil says.

"You'll be fine. Just don't get too close," you say.

"Alan should do it," Stu says.

"Alan took a punch from Mike Tyson, after (y/n) beat the shit out of him. Come on, for Doug," Phil says.

"Yeah, but he kind of deserved that. And Stu's right, the tiger is technically Alan fault," you say.

"Why are you peppering the steak? You don't know if tigers like pepper," Stu says, all of you looking over again to see Alan adding pepper to the steak.

"Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon," Alan says.

"I- never mind," you sigh.

"Phil, just do it. You should do it," Stu says as Phil sits up.

"I would, but you lost. It wouldn't be right," he says, leaning back against the chair as you chuckle softly.

"All right, I jammed five roofies in there. Just go in there and throw it in to him," Alan says, picking up the steak and handing it Stu.

"Fine," Stu says, grabbing it and walking over to the bathroom.

"Make sure he eats the whole thing," Phil says as Stu walks into the bathroom, shutting the door. You sigh, walking over to the curtains and glancing out the window before hearing Stu scream from inside the bathroom. You quickly walk over, Phil and Alan also standing up and aware as Stu quickly walks out and slams the door behind him, leaning back against it.

"What do we do now?" he asks.

"We wait," Alan says.

-

Stu plays a tune on the piano as you all wait for the tiger to fall asleep, sitting together on the armchairs in the lounge around it. You sit in-between Phil's legs as you sit on the couch, Phil leaning into the back of the sofa as you lean against his chest. One of his hands softly plays with your hair, pulling it away from your face as his other holds yours. The moment definitely makes your heart beat very fast, butterflies fluttering in your stomach, but you also can't help but feel relaxed from the close presence of Phil. It's times like this when you wonder if his intention was to comfort you like a brother, or comfort you as a close friend who has feelings for you. Alan sits in the other armchair next to you as he glances around the room, looking at the weird disaster.

"We still don't know how we got the chickens," you whisper to Phil, noticing the chicken on top of the piano.

"I don't think I want to know," he chuckles.

"What do tigers dream of, when they take a little tiger snooze?" Stu sings, a small laugh falling from your lips.

"Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Well, don't you worry your pretty stripped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed," he sings.

"What goes through his head?" Phil chuckles.

"And then we're gonna find our best friend, Doug, and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug. Doug, Doug," he harmonizes, still perfectly hitting the right notes on the piano.