You know that feeling when you're going down the swirly tube slide, and life is just completely liberating, but then you get to the opening and the wood chip covered ground is approaching too quickly, and you know you won't be able to stop yourself? That's this feeling.
Before my body could even react, I looked down at the floor. "Luke..." I whispered in a regretful tone as I fought the urge to do the same. I found my face resting in my hands as a million emotions washed over me, and I fought the drowning feeling that was rising in me.
"Oh, I'm sorry; I just thought-- sorry." Luke rambled, and his face flourished into a bright pink-- the color of his lips, actually.
"No, I'm sorry. This is just all a lot to process, and I'm in no place to yeah..." I stopped talking and cautiously flicked my attention back and forth over him.
His brow was furrowed and his nostrils flared as he intently focused on biting his lip ring. He twisted the ring that occupied his pinky and stared at the table top. My stomach churned as the past few hours have just fallen apart.
I heard Luke take a long breath and saw him look up from my peripheral vision. "Really not how I wanted things to play out." He spoke consciously in his thick accent.
Not knowing what to say, I just looked at him, confused. He sighed, and it seemed as though he was mentally preparing himself for what he was about to say-- as if I'm not the one who needs mental preparation.
"I didn't want to say anything earlier cus it's kinda weird, but I remember you from this past summer." His tongue toyed with the ring around his lip, and I flicked my eyes over him with a challenging look.
Last summer the guys had a concert in Minnesota and had a day off the day before it, so, on a limb I drove to Minnesota with some friends that day before and went to the giant mall. To my pleasant surprise, they were actually there, but so were hundreds of other fans. We waited for at least an hour and a half, and I got so close to them, but I never actually got a chance to meet them before they left.
"I never even got to meet you guys. You all left before I could get up there." My face contorted as a million emotions and questions ran through me.
"But I saw you. I saw you laughing with your friends and nervously and, albeit, awkwardly meeting new people and listening to stories and giving rude glares..." My face turned a shade of pink as I looked away. "I saw you watching Ashton with a fan, and it was as if your jealousy was trying to fight its way out but your happiness won. I saw you reach for Calum just as he turned away. I saw you watching me with a longing expression, and I saw your eyes widen as Michael walked past you."
"That's really specific." My eyes scanned the balcony, trying to find a resting place as I was fighting back all of my questions.
"I really wanted to meet you." He admitted, pleading at me to look at him. "Plus, I don't know, you just seemed like you understood. What? I'm not exactly sure, but there was just something so impressive about you."
I'm not gonna lie; it was a bit concerning that Luke remembered so much in detail about me from nearly six months ago, but I'll take it. "Fricken irony." I muttered under my breath. I was angry-- angry that Luke had wanted to meet me but made no significant effort, angry that he was such a dick this morning, angry that we're stuck out here left with nothing but conversations neither of us had ever planned on having, angry that I'm finally getting what I want, angry that he never stays in one place for more than a few weeks at a time.
Luke approached me with caution in his voice. "What are you thinking?"
I took a deep breath and looked at him. "I'm just angry."
He nodded his head and looked down again. "I'm sorry."
I squeezed my eyes shut and the rest of my face followed in frustration. "You're the first person who has actually found me memorable."
"What?" I looked up to see Luke embarassed by his lack of understanding.
"Growing up, it's always been about my other siblings and what they've accomplished versus what I've accomplished. It's always them who get talked about. Did you know that more than half of the people I meet throug my parents didn't even know I existed until they saw me? It changes the way you think about yourself." I anxiously tapped my fingers against the tabletop.
"That's ridiculous." Luke spoke loudly and defensively.
"I don't mean to sound pitiful." I apologized for my very personal story just previously.
"You're definitely not that." We were both silent for a moment, but I could tell Luke was going over what he was about to say next. "So you're not creeped out by me?"
"Well, I mean; you were right to think it was weird. But I remember things about you that day too. We don't really get to choose whom we're affected by." I gave him a reassuring smile, and he returned it.
"Eleanour,"
I looked up, surprised but pleased at the sound of my full name.
"I really--"
Luke was cut off by the sound of the door hinges creeking open. We both quickly turned our attention to the barrier that has trapped us out here. It was opening. An older gentleman, with a cigarette in hand, was walking out toward us.
"Don't shut the door!" I yelled as I lunged out of my seat.
"Wha--?" The disgruntled man nearly fell over in shock.
"We've been locked out here." Luke explained, following me immediately.
Finally, we were free. "Thank you so much!" I yelled back at the still confused man.
He nodded his head, and we parted ways. I walked quickly to my room, knowing I was in for a lecture. I could hear Luke running behind me, trying to catch me. I felt bad for trying to escape him, but I didn't want to hear what I thought he had to say.
"El, wait! Please." I stopped, shutting my eyes, and turned around.
"Sorry," I played a smile. "I just don't wanna get in too much trouble."
"Getting there thirty seconds sooner will not save you from your father's wrath." He said drily.
I gave it to him. "Okay..."
"I, I wanna see you again. At your will, of course." Luke seemed rushed and flustered, and it was adorable.
I bit my top lip into my mouth. "Okay." I had planned to sound calm, but it came out a small squeak.
Luke beamed with confidence as he knew he clearly had a hold over me, and I was comfortable with that. "Yeah? So, since we made it clear this morning that you have no one to tell about me and that you're selfish, if I gave you my number, would you use it?"
My head felt too heavy. A happiness that I haven't felt in a while encompassed me, and a smile showed to match it. "Yes. That's like asking if I would fly had I the capability. Poor example because I'm afraid of heights, but yes, Though," I tugged on my fingers, looking up at him shyly. "I'd probably be more comfortable giving you mine instead because I'm really bad about remembering to contact people. Even if said people is you." I ran my hand through my hair continued to pull at my fingers.
Luke smiled widely, hopefully finding me charming. "I think that would be okay."
I bit my lip and smiled, suddenly weighted with the reality of this. My eyes stung, and I did everything I could to tone back the enormous smile that was fighting its way out. Luke handed me his phone, and I entered my number, feeling childish. I feel like children only do things like this in real life because this doesn't happen in real life.
"We're heading upstate tomorrow around lunchtime for some promotional thing, so I don't know if I'll see you again while you're here..." He looked down at his hands sheepishly.
"Oh..." And there's the end of that rollercoaster. I perked up a bit. "But there's always breakfast."
Luke smiled cheekily. "I'll see you then."
"See you then." I grinned, nervous to show my inner jubilation.
We began to walk away from each other, but I heard Luke's feet approaching behind me. I stopped to turn around and was met my his lips. Being the gentleman that he is, they landed on my cheek.
He looked startled by himself and sudden courage. "Okay, bye."
I giggled, touching my hand to my cheek, and went back to my room.
"Eleanour, where have you been!? I've called you sixteen times!" My dad rushed over to me, looking angry, but ended up hugging me.
I was still on cloud nine, and his words barely registered with me. "El, I thought something happened to you!" He grew angry with my aloofness.
"I'm really sorry. I went out on a balcony to see the view a bit, but I got locked out there until some man came out to smoke. My phone died." I tried to sound sweet and scared to soften the mood.
"What's the point of these things if you don't use them for what they were actually made for?" My dad pointed angrily at the phone in my hand, but he soon lightened. "I'm just glad you're okay."
We made up and saw the sights of Los Angeles a little while later.
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The next morning I had breakfast with Luke, sort of. He was taken soon to go pack his things, and I had a strict itinerary for the day. Things were still a bit uncomfortable becuase how could it not be, but things were left on a good note.
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Thanks for reading.
