Under the Cherry Blossoms (Taejin/Kookjin)

Chapter 14. Stay

AUTHOR'S POV

Taehyung woke up with an empty space beside him.

He panicked, but felt relieved when he saw Jin sitting on the far end of the bed.

"Babe, are you not sore?" He asked.

Considering the number of rounds they made love yesterday, he was expecting Jin to have a difficulty moving around. They barely wanted to stop. They kept on exploring each other until dawn. He can't even remember the number of times he filled Jin with his cum.

Jin simply shook his head in silence.

Something was off. Something was wrong. This was not what Taehyung was expecting. He was expecting morning cuddles or tickles or giggles or even morning sex. However, the ambiance around the room was too calm, dangerously calm. The kind of calm that comes before a storm.

Taehyung crawled towards Jin. Jin was stiff. He was staring blankly at a cellphone which made Tae feel uneasy.

"Babe, what's wrong? Why are you holding my phone?"

"I'm sorry I picked up the call. I did not want to disturb your sleep."

"Who called?"

"Shanon"

"What did she say?"

"She asked me to remind you of your flight back to the US this evening."

"Only that?"

"..."

Anxiousness slowly filled their nerves. Taehyung snaked his arms around Jin's waist and back hugged him. He sweetly licked and nipped Jin's naked shoulder, then neck and then his ears. With his warm breath, he whispered,

"Babe, tell me to stay and I'll stay."

Jin softly caressed Taehyung's arms which was wrapped around him. The touch was soft but it stung like ice. Their skins burned like frost bite. The feeling was cold and foreshadowing; a foreshadow of an unbearable pain.

"You have a great life, Tae. You are a doctor. You have a great family. You now have a good relationship with your father. You have a successful fiancé who can give you all the glory of the world." Jin said in a shaky voice.

Tears slowly build up in their eyes.

Tae tightened his embrace and nuzzled his nose on Jin's neck. In a low deep voice, he pleaded, "Please..."

Gripping Taehyung's arms firmly, Jin choked on his words, "You are a perfect man who deserves a perfect life. I can't destroy that." He pressed his lips and weakly sighed, "Let's keep it that way."

"Jinnie... Please tell me to stay... please Jin."

Tears threaten to fall. Their voices faltered.

"Taehyung, please leave and go on with your life."

They were trying their best to suppress their sobs.

"Jin.. please..."

As much as they tried to hold on their tears, they could not do it and started weeping softly.

"Go"

And just like a grenade, that single word broke them down. They burst into tears, flooding the room with sorrow.

Emptiness. They felt very empty. Why did it have to be like this?

They were in heaven yesterday. Why are they now scorching in the fires of hell?

They tightened their hugs, not wanting to let go; but they had to let go. Why is life so complicated?

All they ever wanted is to love, to be happy. Can't they have that?

Taehyung gently tapped Jin's face and motioned him to face him. He wanted to fight, but how can he fight when Jin's eyes made him feel weak?

He despised what he saw behind those deep eyes.

Jin's eyes run deep into an abyss of conflicted emotions.

Love and pain?

Hope and Fear?

Assurance and doubt?

What he detested the most is that these exact eyes mirror his own. How can they love freely with these conflicted emotions?

Taehyung swallowed the pain and accepted his defeat for the second time. In an aching voice, he offered, "Let me take care of you..." He stopped breathing for a moment and continued, "...before I leave."

***

Warm water rushed down violently filling the bathroom tub. Taehyung weakly dropped on the floor. He cried uncontrollably. The running water muffled his cries. He gripped his hair as hurtful thoughts run wildly in his head...

Why can't I stay, Jin? I was longing for you for four years. I thought I can finally be happy with you. Why do we have to repeat the things that happened four years ago? I wanted to argue, but I don't want to disappoint you. Please let me love you. Let's stay together and figure things out. Please.

These inner feelings were trapped in his throat. He loathed himself. He hated that he had to walk on eggshells with Jin. But the most painful part of all is that he understands. Despite the many questions and regrets, he still understands.

In spite of being helpless, he stood up. Taking the essential oil and Epsom salt found in the cabinet, Taehyung prepared Jin his warm bath.

Once everything was ready, he went back to the room to get Jin. He lifted him and carried him in bridal style. Jin snuggled his nose into Taehyung's neck while gasping with sobs.

When they got into the bathroom, Taehyung gently lowered Jin into the tub filled with warm water and essential oil.

Taehyung sat on the floor beside the tub. He stroked Jin's hair slowly, tucking the loose ends at the back of his ear. He held Jin's left hand with both of his hands, smoothly running his thumbs at the back of Jin's hand. He then intertwined their hands.

With entwined hands and falling tears, they silently screamed in their heads:

Stay by my side, stay with me. Don't let go.

Stay. Just one word. All they had to say is one word and everything will be different. Their hearts were screaming this one word, but their minds were holding back their voices.

Silence speaks when word's cant.

So, they remained to love in meaningful silence.

After moments of quietude, Taehyung showered their intertwined hands with soft and longing kisses.

With a lonely heart, he stood up. Without sparing Jin a glance, he sniffled, "When you feel much better, you go down and eat. I will order you some food..." He paused, swallowed his cries and whispered "...before I leave."

Before Taehyung stepped out of the bathroom, Jin called his name.

"Taehyung..."

Taehyung stopped but never looked back.

Jin scanned Taehyung's figure and saved every bit of him in his memory. He then softly spoke the words,

"... thank you."

I love you... Three words left unspoken.

For the second time, Jin and Taehyung parted ways with a heavy heart and unspoken feelings.

Almost... Is that what they will always have?

An almost grand romance... the kind of romance that goes against all odds.

An almost perfect love story... the kind of love story that has been tested by fate and time.

They were bounded by fate, but broken by circumstances.

They always meet by chance, but are they really not meant to stay together?