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She hated this. She hated everything about this. He wasn't allowed to be dead, he couldn't be dead. She wanted to do something but what could she do, she felt it, hell, she knew that he still had to be alive he had to be, he was too goddamn stubborn not to. Being lost at sea was something that he would never do, he knew these shores better than anyone she had met so how is he just gone?
She sat on the beach with all these thoughts in her head, watching the waves crash against the water but her eyes mostly focused on the horizon, waiting for his fishing boat to come into view, praying and hoping that he was okay like she knew he was.
John B is what she needed to get through this but he wasn't talking to anyone right now and she understood that to an extent but he wasn't the only one that lost him, the man was like a second father to her. When something happened to her and her dad wasn't home then she wouldn't even think, she'd be making her way to him knowing he'd give her the same comfort.
She wasn't sure what she was thinking, but she was so angry at John B right now, he knew how much his father meant to her but yet here he is cutting her off just like he was doing with everyone else. She asked her friends daily if they had spoken to him but the same response every damn time. No, we haven't seen him
So she got up from the sand and began to walk to the Routledge residence, he wasn't going to treat her like everyone else because she wasn't everyone else, she was his best friend since the beginning and he wasn't going to treat her like this, she wouldn't allow it.
She soon had made it to the front door, and almost all the confidence has diminished as soon as she raised her hand to knock on the familiar door. She couldn't remember the last time she knocked since she would normally just let herself in. She was scared, she didn't know how John would react to her being here especially when he's tried to avoid everyone but like she said. She wasn't like everyone else.
Three knocks rang out without the house, she would have thought he wasn't in there but she knew he was, she was pretty sure the only reason he left the house was for food or work which he rarely attended now but Ward was letting him have a break, understanding the loss of his father.
John B had his head in his hand as he sat on the end of his bed, he hadn't moved not even the knocking registered in his mind, wild thoughts flying around trying to work out what had happened to his dad but soon the knocks continued, and it was driving him insane, he let out a groan of frustration, expecting it to be the DCS wanting to know what was going on with him now that he didn't have a career since Uncle T didn't look like he was coming any time soon.
He ripped the door open, but through the fly screen door, he saw her. He felt guilt rise in him as he saw her sad eyes and how her skin looked paler even though he couldn't really see her since it was so dark. She looked terrible, and he no doubt looked the same. He just wished she wasn't here not now, he didn't want her to see him like this, so broken and fragile. He had to admit all that had been on his mind was his dad and her. Honestly, for a while he thought she wouldn't care but looking at her now, it looked like someone had stabbed her and left her for dead.
"You don't get to cut me out, John B. Not me" Her voice was soft and delicate as if she couldn't go any higher than that without hurting herself. He sighed, looking down at his feet before stepping to the side, letting her open the screen door then stepping in.
And the minute there wasn't a door blocking them, he threw his arms around her, and she didn't waste a second to wrap her arms around his torso, feeling the tears on her neck as he pushed his head further into her neck, he didn't know how much he needed this. Her comfort or maybe just her in general.
"It's okay, John. I'm right here" She whispered gently, keeping his arms around her as she moved to out of the door frame, closing the front door so the cool air couldn't get in. The island was normally humid and having more than one sheet of a night time was pushing it, but ever since Big John's death, well, a lot of things changed on the island.
She guided John to his room, the route she was a bit too familiar with, her footsteps echoed in the small, quiet house. It was eerily quiet, she could hear the sink in the bathroom drip every now and then, the once fun-loving atmosphere now sent chills down her spine at the mystery that lied around every corner.
He unwrapped himself from around her, taking a seat on his bed like before, this time his hands stay in his lap and he stares at the floor before him, beside the girl who was there to help. She wasn't sure what to say, neither did he. But he didn't want to talk, having her here was enough. She understood that.
She hesitantly sat beside him, she placed her hand on his shoulder grabbing his attention "Let's get some rest" She muttered softly to him, she looked like she needed the rest. No doubt he needed it, he tried to remember the last time he rested his eyes, he was stumped.
He laid back softly, pushing himself under the covers alongside the brunette girl, no words were shared between the two as they laid in silence, he was cold. Pondering the thought of moving slightly towards his left where the most heat was emitting from the bed.
Eyes wide open, thoughts circles his mind. He glanced to his left at the sound of soft breathing, he wondered if she had passed out the minute her head in the pillow. When was the last time she slept? Was it his fault for blocking her out? He noticed how she curled up, was she cold? She felt so warm though, how could she be cold?
He inched himself in her direction, just enough for her body to be pressed against his arm, it was enough. Enough to send exhaustion in his body, he felt his eyes begin to close and the world grew darker until he finally fell under.
He had to ask himself. What he would do without her, his best friend.
