Wither- A Malec Fanfiction{Earlier: Broken...Forgiven}

The First Decades are the Hardest [Revised]

Magnus Bane smelled like heartbreak. 

And he hated it. He hated it, his cat hated it, the pizza guy hated it. He had given himself one night, one night to fall into pieces about Alec and then he'd pick his shattered pieces, superglue them together and move on. 

Move on, like he always did. 

But there he was. A week later, still in pieces. 

He really is gone, thought Magnus and a wave of sobs came over him. His shoulders shook and his lung heaved weakly. He felt the pillow beneath him begin to drench and he could taste the saltiness in his voice. With his makeup damaged and beyond repair, Magnus slammed his head against the door until his head throbbed and plead to stop. Wooziness and pain together hit Magnus but he saw a carefully folded piece of paper taped onto the bedroom door.

How did I miss that, thought Magnus, oh that's right I was a hopeless drunkard to even know where I was sleeping at

He plucked the note. And the fammiliar curve of the handwriting slashed at his already bullied heart. 

Magnus-

You have probably come home by now and is probably glad that I followed you words. I have no hatred towards you, Mags. I love you...and maybe you don't maybe I was a trivial, just another Will Herondale. Maybe. But that's ok, I won't mind, if you are happy that is all I care. And I thought that you should probably know that discussing to take away your immortality with Camille ...I did that. But I told her I couldn't take away your happiness for my own, as a shadowhunter I understand sacrifice .I couldn't give her a straight t answer because right after that  she told me about your past. That's why I went back to her.  I know...you probably feel terrible but someday I'm going to die and that would be even more pain to you. It's probably better this way, where I take all the pain...as I should. I hope that atleast you will forgive me and please don't be angry with me, I love you. I don't ask for a second chance I don't deserve it; I'm not going to lie that I don't want it, I do, because I want you...I'm too un-special for that. 

I don't want the last thing you feel for me hatred but I must be asking too much. 

Yours now and forever,

-Alec

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REVISED.