Wither- A Malec Fanfiction{Earlier: Broken...Forgiven}

When the Sun Goes Down [REVISED]

"Hey, parabata--HEY!" 

Jace Herondale came out to have a good time but honestly right now, he felt very attacked.

Alec had pinned Jace to the ground, a blade up against his neck, two blue eyes staring at him furiously.  Jace held up his hands in surrender but Alec pushed on, the sharp end of the blade slicing and breaking through Jace's skin a trickle of blood drooling down his neck.

"Alec," Jace said calmly, "You are hurting me," 

Alec scoffed and muttered something very much like: 'softie' and pulled Jace to his feet. It had been five days like this. 

Alec rarely ate or went out anymore. He focused on his training from the week hours of the morning till the dawn of the next. Archery, sword fighting, you name it, Alec was the best at it. He was better than Jace. 

And that was saying something. Jace held up a paper bag which had TAKI'S scrawled upon it, he smiled brightly and shoved it Alec's face who rolled his eyes and pushed it away. 

"Oh, don't be such a Debbie Downer. I got you your favorite, Aliiieee," Jace used Alec's nickname which usually gets the raven haired boy up and on Jace's ass but Alec just brushed it away

"I'm not hungry, Jacey," he threw the nickname Jace hated and Jace pouted

"You are my parabatai. We should be equal and you just kicked my ass," 

"You are my parabatai, which is exactly why I should kick you in the ass," Alec shot at him

Jace put his arms around Alec and whined,

"But parabatai..." 

Alec shook him away and said,

"I'll do it, I'll eat, Angel, you are annoying,"

"I love you too, boo," 

Alec took off his gloves, it's been five days and for five long days he had ran that silver knife all over himself a twisted sense of pleasure arising from the depths of the darkest parts of his thoughts. No body noticed which was why Alec absentmindedly rolled up his sleeves to let some air to rush through his pain infested skin. 

It was kind of hard not to notice Alec's arms. Jace's golden eyes drifted to it, took a moment to take it and it was only then when Alec figured out that something had gone wrong. 

"Jace..." Alec's stomach fell to the ground

"Alec, show me you arms," Jace's voice shook. Jace Herondale was afraid of what he might see. 

"They are scars from that demon hunting we went on an--" Alec stopped he couldn't reverse what Jace saw. Alec felt his heart beat for a moment when he saw Jace's stricken face of fear toward and for Alec. He let Jace pull him to him, he let Jace pull up the sleeves of his shirt, he let Jace's fingers trail across the black, red and blue. He let Jace cry. 

Yes, Jace Herondale, crying. 

Jace's knees shook and he placed his forehead against Alec's arms and Alec felt the salty liquid dripping onto his skin blistering and burning them. 

"I can't take it a-anymore. The pain I feel through the bond, seeing you torture yourself each and every day, I just can't," Jace mumbled, "Allie please," 

Alec wanted to turn away. Alec wanted to not care. Alec wanted to push Jace away but seeing his parabatai, his soul-mate in pieces was physically impossible to not care. 

Alec pulled Jace to him and placed him on his chest like he used to when Jace had a nightmare when they were kids. Some time ago, Alec would've wanted to kiss Jace and make it fell all alright but all he had toward him were brotherly feelings.

"You are none of these things, Alec, why, why oh why do you do this?"

"Because it is true. Cowardly, filth, waste of space, waste of oxygen, disgrace," Alec said some more but Jace plugged his fingers into his ears

"Is this because of Magnus?"

"He made me see what I really am, Jace, I should thank him. I found myself because of him," 

"This isn't you. This isn't my parabatai, my best-friend, my brother. The man Magnus love,"

"MAGNUS NEVER LOVED ME!" Alec screamed angry at Jace for mentioning Magnus, angry at himself for what he did and angry at the world for allowing these two men to walk the Earth at the same time

Jace looked away,

"Ofcourse he does, Alec, ofcourse he does,"

"Just stop, Jace, just stop," 

"If you ever do this," he gestured at Alec's arms and continued, "Again, I will do that to myself too. I swear by the Angel I will," 

Alec looked away,

"The pain is nothing compared to what I feel inside. Can you share that with me too?"

Jace had no answer.

"This is simply a distraction. The bloodloss helps me go to sleep at night, the exhaustion makes me eat. Without it I would disappear into nothing. Everyone has their poison and this is mine," Alec looked adoringly at his arms: his one true masterpiece

The two bestfriends stayed like that for a while when Jace pulled away. He turned his head and was about to leave when he felt a hand wound around his wrist pulling him back toward Alec.

"I know you are going to see Magnus. Don't even try to say otherwise. Tell him that I said thankyou, tell him that I bid him farewell,"

***

REVISED

-aninstrumentofdeath