Being Alive is Hard (various! Yanderes x Reincarnated! Reader)

5. Being Rebellious

Did I proof read? Not really. Sorry for any errors. Please enjoy!!

Chauncey was your only friend. He had been training you since you've met, but the only thing you seemed to be good at was close combat, which was something he, himself, did not excel at. You had surpassed him in that aspect with the help of some training catalogs he brought you, but he was way better at everything else. Recently, you and Chauncey had gotten into studying magic since it was proven that Chauncey could actually do it. Though all he could do was make his fingertips glow faintly, that was enough to make him want to study the science of it. He went on to study healing magic despite not being able to do it himself, but that was all cut short in a matter of what felt like a few days.

Morgan was a busy woman, her spending time with you becoming a rarity as she and Sister Abigail were occupied with Nathaniel, who had turned nineteen that year, a lot of the time. He seemed to become more needy as the days went by. He still threw tantrums even though he was your elder. It was pathetic.

He had joined the knights about one year ago, training to become the blade and shield of the church, the head knight of all things. Of course, it was his destiny to become that and then afterwards, he would take his place as head of the church or something like that. Because of his supposed fate, people took his word over everyone else's so when he had put in a recommendation for Chauncey...

It hurt your friend more than it hurt you. Nathaniel had forced Chauncey to work for the church as a knight despite his dream of becoming a doctor. That alone made your realize that the church didn't regard anyone's feelings, that you could be put in a position you've never wanted–that you've never dreamed of. And it was around that time that you realized you didn't trust the Church.

There were too many rules for you not to be suspicious of them, too many things the church did not approve of. Magic was looked down upon, males who did not want to fight were seen as cowards, female warriors were seen as unruly women with no morals, and free thinking was a sin. It seemed that Hilbrough country would forever be behind the times, but that was only assuming that there was anything outside of Hilbrough.

It was getting harder to put your worries to rest without having Chauncey or Morgan by your side.

You couldn't help but feel afraid. It was a familiar feeling of being helpless, one that you had strangely never felt before. You didn't understand why you felt so anxious, it was just something that crept up on you. It would slither it's way into your head when you were alone. You began to lose trust in people, your mind telling you not to let your guard down too much. Morgan chalked it up to just simple nervousness since you would be a part of the sisterhood in a few years, but you knew it wasn't that.

Chauncey said he understood when you told him about it. It was the one day that he had time for you and you had asked him if he had noticed anything funny about the church. He said that your paranoia was silly and that it was good to be ready for anything. He also told you that you didn't have to worry. You couldn't find it in you to tell him what you were truly feeling as he seemed so sure of himself.

All these thoughts that plagued your mind lead to you, a young girl, walking through the forest–which was forbidden by the church because the area was dangerous. Monsters roamed through those woods, that's what Father Solstice said, and brother Solstice said there was an abundance of them, but what you had found was that there weren't any. Not a single one. Just rabbits, dear and butterflies with a dash of sunshine and rainbows.  There was a large amount of plant eating animals, save for a fox or two, which meant there wasn't really any predators around to even out the population. You assumed that with how many knights that patrolled the area, that if there ever was anything like wolves or monsters, the had been killed off a long time ago.