Hanging With The Boys

04.

WHEN I CREATE my instagram account, I make a vow to restrict who I let follow me. Of course, Luke, Forrest, Tyson and Ian are at the top of my list along with some family members; cousins and the occasional aunt or uncle who think that by having an instagram account it means they are tech savvy. I also allow some people that I talk to occasionally in class, but I don't let people in my school that I know but don't talk to follow me. Most people are obsessed with the number of followers they have, and how many likes and comments they get on a picture or video. But that stuff doesn't concern me. Especially after having most of my comments being rude and vulgar in the past.

On Sunday, I post my first picture. Well, collection of pictures. Ian finished editing rather quickly so I post all the ones he took as a collection, captioning them as "Photoshoot with the amazing @Ianphotographs".

I feel like this is a big step for me. A step towards actually starting over. A new account and new instagram feed are somewhat equivalent to a fresh start, at least on the social media part of things.

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On Monday, Luke gets to borrow his parents' car, not that he really requires it as he's close enough to the school to walk. He even leaves his house earlier than necessary, so he can drive in the opposite direction of the school to come pick me up and drive me to school. I told him he didn't have to do that because I have my own car and all, but he insisted.

"Good morning." He smiles when I get into the car. 

"Good morning." I smile back. "You're giving me a ride back, home, right? Cause if not, I'm gonna be stranded." I say. 

"Don't worry. I've got you." He laughs. "Cute pictures by the way." He adds. 

"Thanks. But it was all Ian. I just stood there awkwardly." I say. 

"Oh, please. You're like the least awkward person I know. I mean, you started hanging out with four guys on your first day here. An awkward girl would not be capable of doing that." He points out. 

"I guess you're right." I smile, but I know that's not true.

I put on a brave face in front of them. I don't want them to view me as the stereotypical weak girl who can't get over her past and move on. I know I have trust issues, I can't deny that, always doubting the guys whenever I'm around them, except Luke. For some reason, I feel like I've known Luke forever even though it's only been a week, but I feel safe with him. Nevertheless, I won't tell him about the main reason why I moved. Not yet anyways. And my trust issues. They'll hopefully go away. I just have to give it time for the wounds to heal.

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"So, are you going to homecoming on Saturday?" Ian asks me at lunch. 

"No. I'm not interested in that kind of thing." I respond. 

"That's the first time I've ever heard a girl say she's not interested when talking about a school dance." Forrest says. 

"First of all, that's kind of sexist." I say, taking a bite of my salad and pointing my fork at him accusingly. 

"And second, I never went to the dances at my old school either." I shrug, not knowing what the big deal is. Is everyone expected to go to homecoming? Girls especially? Was it some sort of unspoken requirement? 

"But you didn't have us at your old school, and now you do. It'll be fun." Tyson says.

I don't want to argue with them about something as silly and pointless as a school dance. Besides, I never went at my old school because I didn't want people whispering about me. And I had no one to go with. But now I do. Four guys and it would probably be really fun with them and hilarious with the foolishness they get on with sometimes.