Picked Off In the Dark

Eaglefeather Speaks

(It took me an entire year to realize I forgot to publish this chapter on here because I kept this chapter in a separate document from the rest like a dolt. I apologize. Here is the bonus chapter.)

I can't remember a time in my life where I didn't hate Amberstar. Even when she was the deputy, I hated Amberfur. She acted like she had more authority over the clan than the leader, Whitestar. I don't know why he didn't demote her and looking back on it, I really wish he had. Me and Sunfur were only kits when the clan found out that our mother, Sandbreeze, had fallen in love with the Shadowclan tom, Leafpelt, to have us. We were allowed to stay in the clan but Sandbreeze was banished. That night, me and Sunkit sneaked out of camp to find our mother. We did find her but shortly after we did, Amberfur murdered her, right before me and Sunkit's eyes. We told Whitestar what happened but he didn't believe us. Amberfur LIED about the whole thing and me and Sunkit were punished for sneaking out of camp. Even after we were out of trouble, cats treated me and Sunfur differently growing up. Everyone questioned our loyalty and always assumed we would betray the clan. My sister, Starclan bless her, took this as a challenge. When we became apprentices, Sunpaw always tried her hardest and proved her loyalty and value to the clan time and time again. She always looked on the bright side, which was probably why she was named after the sun. I, on the other paw, was not given the same opportunity. Despite insisting that I wanted to be a warrior, the new leader Amberstar forced me to be a medicine cat because I could tell the difference between plants. The only redeeming factor of being a medicine cat apprentice was Mintleaf. She was an amazing mentor, but also a friend. Everything else about the medicine cat job frustrated me. I didn't feel like I could help anyone being cooped up in a den with a bunch of leaves and berries. I longed to fight beside my sister and actually protect the clan.It also did my reputation no favors. Cats began to think worse of me. I couldn't prove myself like Sunpaw had. All I could do was be upset due to being treated unfairly. I somehow ended up becoming a full medicine cat despite how terrible I was but it meant nothing to me. A need for revenge against Amberstar festered in my heart. I saw her as the cause of all my suffering. She killed my mother, she forced me to do a job I hated. And yet everyone loved her. It was incredibly frustrated. Maybe you wouldn't do what I ended up doing if you were in my situation but I bet you'd be pretty frustrated. After Mintleaf died, I was distraught. I saw no redeeming factor about being the clan's only medicine cat. I didn't even see any redeeming factor about being in the clan. Eventually, I decided to kill someone Amberstar cared about. While I was thinking of ways I could kill Snaketongue subtlety, I noticed a pile of deathberries in my den. That gave me the perfect idea. Once he was dead, 'I figured why stop there?' I proceeded to kill every cat Amberstar cared about, picking them off in the dark like moths. It made me satisfied to see her in pain but with every cat I killed, it still wasn't enough. For a while, all I thought about was ways to kill cats. That is until one day, Silvermist brought Ivypaw into my den for an anxiety attack. I didn't care much about helping her at first but she was the first cat I met who cared about how I felt. In turn, I found myself caring about how she felt. I tried my hardest to save her mother but when I couldn't, I felt horrible. I know how it feels to lose your mother and I had inflicted that pain onto someone who didn't deserve it, someone I cared about. Why do you think I helped Ivypaw cope with her mother's death? Despite how much I cared about her, my need for revenge against Amberstar didn't go away. I wanted to kill her. Killing all her family and friends was just beating around the bush. So I destabilized one of the tunnels Amberstar would be touring right after the tunnelers did their final checks. I thought it was fitting. Killing a tunneler with a tunnel. My plan however, failed miserably. Amberstar lived, she didn't even lose a life, but Ivypaw's brother, Applepaw was killed instead. I felt horrible for causing the death of yet another one of Ivypaw's kin. She had lost so much and she was just an apprentice. So my next plan involved taking Amberstar far away from camp to a place where I knew venomous snakes were drawn to due to the twoleg trash. This plan worked, and it made me so happy to see Amberstar convulsing in pain at my paws. I thought I was finally satisfied. I fully intended to take Snowpelt to the Moonstone and have him be the next leader. However, when we were approaching the Thunderpath, something snapped inside me. What better way to get revenge on Amberstar than force her to watch her murderer lead her precious clan? Besides, that way, I wouldn't be stuck as a medicine cat anymore. So in one swift movement, I shoved Snowpelt onto the Thunderpath, right as a monster was crossing it. He survived getting hit, so I dragged him off the Thunderpath and finished him off with a swift bite to the neck. I cleaned the blood off my lips before returning to camp with Snowpelt's body. I insisted on becoming leader, and did the one thing I know I regret. I manipulated my only real friend. I used our friendship as a means to get her to support me so I could become leader. And I rubbed it in. It felt horrible. I was leader for a very short amount of time. On my last day, I took Amberpetal out of camp with intent to kill her for saying that a medicine cat couldn't be a leader. I wanted anyone who defied me dead and I succeeded, but a high cost. Ivypaw saw the whole thing and she must have been waiting to expose me for a while because she said she knew everything I had done. I didn't want to fight her but I did. Then when the patrol came, I knew it was the end. I was going to die but I kept fighting and eventually, fell to my death. So that's where I am now. Dead, lonely, and numb from anger.