Love Breaks You

2

For weeks Alec couldn't stop thinking about the way Magnus was kissing and touching him as if nothing bad ever happened between them, as if Magnus had never broken his heart.

Again he wasn't sure if he was happy for the contact with Magnus he had missed everything about his ex, and yeah maybe it wasn't good to be thinking this way, to be wishing to get your ex back or to be able to go back in time especially with how much time had passed but he couldn't help it.

But he also wished what happened never did happened, he wished Magnus never touched him or kissed him or told him the bitter truth that apparently both of them knew "I know you still love me" "you know I'll be the only one you love the way you did" the words kept going around his brain kept repeating and reminding him the bitter truth.

He still loved Magnus of course he still loved Magnus, Magnus was once his heart. Magnus showed him what love was, what it was like to be loved and cared for and cherished. Magnus was his first and as everyone says or knows, your first will always have a place in your heart no matter how much you try to stop caring or loving them it never works, there's always a part that belongs to them.

Alec also knew he wouldn't ever love another like he did Magnus, hell if Magnus were to find a way to get him back, Alec knew he wouldn't even be able to love Magnus like he once did. One thing made this all true, Magnus was his first and with your first you are innocent and unguarded but with time and heartbreak you become more sheltered.

So Magnus was Alec's first he wasn't guarded he was innocent and naive but now that he knew the pain and almost suffering of heartbreak he would be guarded, careful of what he says and does afraid of that reality of heartbreak and losing what you thought would be the love of your life. Never wanting to experience that again.

All of this thinking gets interrupted when he feels the warm smaller body besides his moving a little. He knew his boyfriend was waking up and he had to stop thinking about this now he couldn't be thinking about his ex with his boyfriend. He felt bad for even thinking about all this with his boyfriend sleeping adorablily next to him.

Alec didn't sleep much how could he with all of this going on in his mind, with the feeling of Magnus behind him dancing or Magnus's lips on his neck but being next to his boyfriend who was now up and talking to him, fuck pay attention Alec snap put of it.

"Alexander?" Asked a small voice
"Hmm...oh yeah?" Alec asks snapping out of it and paying attention to Noah
"You okay you thinking about something?" Noah asks sitting up a little and laying his head on Alec's shoulder
"Nothing you need to worry about, how did you sleep?" Alec asks kissing Noah's forehead
"Good, you sure its nothing. You know you can trust me right?"
"Yeah I know and I promise I'm okay" Alec says softly and then presses a kiss to Noah's temple

Noah smiles letting his eyes flutter closed and continues leaning on Alec happily just enjoying the quiet. He knew something was wrong with Alec he could sense it he had always been good at reading people. He seen how Alec had been acting around Magnus and now he was tense, he couldn't help but think it was because of Magnus.

Noah knew what Magnus did with Alec, how he kissed him and how he touched him but most importantly how Alec didn't push Magnus away or tell Magnus to stop. It hurt to think about but Alec actually looked like he was enjoying the feeling unfortunately he couldn't say he didn't know this would happen.

"Alec...Alec?...Alexander!" Noah says Alec's full name louder trying to get Alec's attention since he couldn't the other to times and thankfully he did get Alec's attention.

"Y-yeah" Alec asks snapping out of it and looking at Noah who shook his head and stood up "talk to me what's going on and don't say nothing because something is going on I can see it, I can feel it something is wrong" Noah days patiently but his patience was running low especially after what happened last night when Alec came home

"Nothing is wrong" Alec says getting defensive he didn't know how to answer he couldn't tell Noah about what happened with Magnus

"Really? So we are lying to each other now? Fine I'll start since you refuse to" Noah says, anyone could tell that Noah was getting agitated "I seen Magnus kissing you, I seen Magnus touching you, I seen it all and honestly I wouldn't be upset if it weren't for the fact that my boyfriend MY! boyfriend was enjoying it. I've tried to be patient, I've tried letting you have space to come to me about this but when you keep spacing out o-or keep avoiding questions with "nothing" its fucking irritating" Noah says his eyes getting hard and his tone getting rough he felt like crying.

He loved Alec so much but if he was honest he was just Alec's rebound from Magnus no matter how intense the feelings got or how far they are now it's still true

"I wasn't enjoying it! I was trying to get away from Magnus, I-I was trying to get Magnus off of me I was trying to be the good guy make sure my boyfriend was okay and make sure Magnus got home safe bu-" Alec almost growls sitting up more

"WHY! Alec why! Magnus isn't your responsibility you guys broke up he broke up with you, he is your ex now it's not your job to make sure Magnus gets where he needs to safe it's not your job to babysit him. I'm your boyfriend Alec it's me and you now"

"I know that Noah I know. But I..." Alec didn't know what to say he was flustered and confused where this was all coming from they literally like just woke up. "Just please Noah calm down I love you okay I love you"

"Yeah you might but do you love Magnus be honest 100% honest do you love Magnus still"

"Yes I still love Magnus there will always be a part of me that does that love doesn't just go away"

"Okay fine, Alec are you still in love with Magnus 100% honest if Magnus told you he was absolutely sorry told you that he never stopped loving or being in love with you would you get back with him would you drop me for him"

Alec looks away he couldn't look at Noah anymore "no I don't love him anymore"

"Look me in the eyes and say that Alec, do you still want to be with Magnus. Would you leave me for Magnus" Noah asks getting a lump in his throat, the tears were threatening to spill and his hands were shaking. He knew the answer as much as he wished he didn't know the answer he knew the answer and he didn't know if he could take it to listen to it

Alec looks at Noah looks him in the eyes why couldn't people look in peoples eyes when they lied was it some guilty thing, right now he envied people who could lie while they looked in someone's eyes but maybe this was for the best. "I...I don't know okay" Alec says looking away from Noah's eyes

"Then I don't know if we can be together, I'm your boyfriend Alec we've been dating for almost two years that should be an easy question for you to answer no too. If you would leave me for Magnus I don't know if I can do this" Noah says motioning between them "us anymore" Noah says letting out a gasp and letting out a painful sob "when you figure it out maybe this can work but untill then I don't know"

Alec didn't know what to do or say he could feel the pain again thr pain he hated. The pain of heart break of being broken up with he hated it and he was again single all because of Magnus. "I love you" "I love you too but I would never want to hold you back from happiness and if Magnus is the one that can give that too you then you need to be with Magnus" Noah says a little bit calmer now he was still hurting but he loved Alec so much he would sacrifice his happiness for Alec "goodbye Alec, for now"

"I'll send my sister for my stuff, goodbye" Alec says holding it together untill he was in his car he didn't know where to go but he would have to figure it out for now he would just go home but he needed to see Magnus and see his siblings later

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Okay so how was that? I've been very very busy life happened and then wouldn't stop happening but finally I got to write again so I hope you like this and give it a star and maybe a few comments anyways I hope this is long enough and i honestly don't know when the next chapter will be out but please be patient with me.

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