Mister Night | ✓

07

"Oh, you're still alive?"

"Hey, don't say that. I might think you don't like me."

"You should know I hate you."

"I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that."

"Sure, whatever helps you handle rejection."

"Wow, someone needs a happy meal."

"And, I need my beauty sleep."

"I was talking about you, Grinch."

"Oh! Were you? Excuse me, for not being fine and dandy and all rainbows, in the dead of night."

"You're making me feel guilty, Tutu."

"Damn right, you should be. You keep flipping my bitch switch."

"Uh, I disagree, I believe... that's naturally activated. Your default setting, maybe?"

"...It's a way of living, I've accepted that I'm bitter and complicated. Tch, it's one of my charms."

"I don't think you know what that word means... or how to count."

"You're just not meant to understand me, peasant."

"Won't stop me from trying."

"I don't like getting too comfortable with people."

"Because, they all leave you in the end. And that hurts."

"You're buried alone."

"Unless..."

"Grave for two? Sounds cheesy. "

"Everybody loves a lil' cheese."

"I... actually don't. Not much."

"How could you not love cheese?"

"It tastes weird."

"You're weird-"

"Very."

"-and I love that."

"Who could resist me, right?"

"Cocky ass motherfucker."

"Well, you didn't deny it, did you?"

"...What's your favorite food?"

"Ice cream."

"That's not food. I meant real food-"

"You didn't just say that."

"I- I did? Pft, come on-"

"This is the part where I'd invert your ribcage."

"It's a frozen dessert. Damn, calm down, holy hell... Do you cook?"

"Everything seems to spontaneously combust when I enter the kitchen."

"Sheer fucking sorcery."

"Don't tell Gordon Ramsay."

"You are a disgrace to the culinary world, Tutu."

"Well, you're a disgrace to the human race."

"Hang up, then."

"Do you really want me to, though?"

"We both know I don't, and we both know you won't."

"..."

"..."

"She just fucking hung up on-"