Asymptote (bxb)

Chapter 14: Wrapped Up

         I pulled my phone out of my pocket, typing in Cian's name to let him know I had made it up my driveway safely like I had said I would. I smiled to myself. As I turned around from the door, my worst fears came crashing down with the words I heard next.

"Who the fuck was that, Bailey?" My eyes shot up from my phone to meet Miles', standing in the darkness of the hallway.

For a moment, it was like I forgot how to talk. I couldn't believe this was happening. I already knew I couldn't see Cian again; it wasn't fair. I was in love with Miles. I never wanted Miles to find out, and there was no reason he had to except that he had just seen it. And the worst part is, there was nothing I could say to make it better. I couldn't say that Cian wasn't Miles, I couldn't tell Miles that I loved him and no one could compare. Everything I could say would make it worse.

"Just a friend," I said. It was dumb, but I didn't know what to say.

"That's all it takes? A guy just needs to be fucking nice and be your friend and you'll do anything they want? That's not what a fucking friend is, Bailey."

"Isn't that what I am to you? A friend?" I felt my face get hot with rage and embarrassment. We were going to wake my parents, and I had no idea how I was going to explain this. "Can we go to my room?"

"I'm not going anywhere with you. You're just some faggot, willing to give it out to anyone who asks and not giving a fuck who sees."

His words felt like a physical blow, and I thought I could feel my heart breaking. It hurt; my chest physically hurt. I was there to comfort him through everything, all it took was a text, a call, a word and I was there. It killed me that someone who I would do anything and give anything for could say that to me, and the worse part was I didn't think it was just to hurt me, I think that was seriously was he thought of me.

"I'd rather be a faggot than be someone who is too weak to admit to themselves who they really are. But that shouldn't be surprising from you, you're too weak to stand up to your own mother. That's why you're here, right? That's the only reason you ever are."

I regretted it as soon as the words left my mouth. I could see the hurt in his eyes. It wasn't fair. Miles couldn't control the life he was born into. But the fact was, if his home life was perfect, I don't think he would even need me. He was my world and I was the temporary release from his life.

"Miles, I –" before I could even try to undo what I had said, Miles' fist collided with my cheek. I felt the tears running down my face before I even registered what had happened. I reached up to touch my face, looking up to his eyes. He looked more shocked than I was.

A light flicked on upstairs. "Bailey, is everything okay?" It was my mom, standing at the top of the stairs in her nightgown, rollers in her hair.

Miles pushed passed me and forced his way out the door, and all rational thought left my mind as a followed him.

"Please stay, Miles. Please," I was begging and sobbing and I didn't even care. I didn't care how pathetic it made me. I had to try.

He heard me and looked dead into my eyes before walking away. He heard me pleading and walked away. It felt like I lost the strength to move. I grabbed the railing of the porch and let myself fall down onto the steps, crying loudly and uncontrollably and not caring if the whole world saw.

What if I had fucked up everything and he never talked to me again? How could I possibly fix it? It wasn't worth it; the date wasn't worth it. I just wanted to be in Miles' bed, watching tv show reruns and talking through his feelings and dreaming of a future where everything was better. But I was a fucking awful person and I didn't know how to fix this, and I didn't know how to live myself. How could I say something like that?