Only a Paper Moon [ Band of Brothers ] 3

[11] Memories and Melodies

Prompt: given by anon, from wecomrades fabulous BoB prompt list. Number 11, Joe Toye + "Come on, sing us a song!" + cold shower 

Summary: "They were right, of course. While singing had been a staple of her attempt at keeping training light in America, the Samaria had squashed that. Better to be silent than to dig a deeper grave."

[ 11 ]

MEMORIES AND MELODIES

warnings for mentions of past sexual assault

April 1944 

Aldbourne, England

There was something freeing, standing under a shower head with cold water cascading down on her skin. Alice kept her eyes closed, willing away memories and future fears alike. It'd been months since the Samaria. The months hadn't been easy, but she improved every day. Or, Alice liked to think she did.

The bathroom she used in Millie's house had become a refuge. She locked the door, stripped, and let the water cleanse her. After long sessions of training it was like paradise. George teased her about it sometimes, laughing that she would turn into a prune if she couldn't keep out of the water.

They didn't understand it. Alice knew that. They couldn't grasp how cleaning herself physically became like trying to clean herself emotionally. Atonement of sins, perhaps? Alice sighed. She turned the water off.

Drying off didn't take long. Soon she'd pulled on dry fatigues and sat on her bed. With practiced ease, she ran a brush through her hair. It caught frequently on the tangles. Training hadn't been kind to her hair, that was for certain. Then again, neither had crawling around the Alps.

She closed her eyes. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Today had been worse than normal, with the memories. Alice hadn't told anyone who'd been there, but she'd started remembering what happened on the Samaria, not just the trauma it had made her remember from Paris. Nix would want to know, probably. Harry, too. George, maybe.

Her jaw clenched. They couldn't understand. They'd never be able to grasp why she'd jump at an unexpected touch, or flinch at a shout. So she didn't tell them.

"'Evening boys." Millie's voice echoed from the front door down the stairs. "Alice is showerin'. She'll be out in a minute I'm sure. Come on in."

Boys. Which ones? As soon as she heard Joe respond, she guessed Bill at least was there, George too probably. Maybe Tab. Yeah, there was Tab's little quip back about always hiding in a bathroom.

She bristled a bit. Opening her eyes, she stared at the mirror across from her. The bruise and cut on her cheek had long since vanished, but sometimes Alice could see it anyways. Fingers had dug into her face twice. Once in Paris. Once at sea.

Alice jumped, cursing when a knock sounded at the door. Her heart raced. Shit. But when she heard Millie tell her who was waiting downstairs, she responded with as calm a voice as she could that she'd be down soon. It didn't take her long.

She almost smiled that the four she'd predicted sat in Millie's living room. Madeleine had brought them tea, and Bill was busy telling her about the training they'd been doing. Even as her feet hit the ground floor, Percy blew past her and nearly knocked into George.

"Jesus, Alice, you're gonna get washed away," George teased her.

She sighed, smiling. "It's not my fault I value my cleanliness. You four are just heathens."