The Perfect Girl

28

"They don't know she's looking back at,                                                                                                            broken glass and dreams,                                                                                                                                          bursting at the seams,"

So Ami and Shuayb and Amar came over to our apartment later that night.

I'm not sure exactly what excuse he gave for having them over to our place instead of having us go there, but I hoped he hadn't told them the real reason.  We decided to order food from a small Chinese restaurant near us.

We drove there a little early, and then waited in the car for the order to be ready.

"You know," Khalid said, suddenly, "I can't believe I've never considered this before, but how does all the housework get done?"

I gave him a look, "I do it, duh.  What, did you think it happened magically?"

"No," he muttered, "I just feel bad."

"Why?"

"Cause you're working and studying and also taking care of the house."

I shrugged, "It's only a couple of shifts at the cafe.  You're working much more.  And I'm fine with it, seriously.  No big deal."

I'd started working at a small cafe lately, as well as taking my courses.  Partly, it was just for the structure, work for the sake of having purpose, but also, it was for the money.  Khalid was making a fair amount of money, but I wasn't one to complain about a little extra cash.  

I did want to work in a proper job, but first I had to finish studying, so in the meantime, I might as well do something.

"It kind of is a big deal, though," he murmured, "That's a lot of work."

I smirked at him, "Are you offering to take over?"

"W-Well, I, um," he stuttered, "I guess so."

"Really?" I said in surprise.

"Yes," he said, "It would be different if you were home all the time.  But you're not exactly sitting around with a bunch of free time on your hands, love.  It wouldn't be fair if I didn't help at all."

"So... you wanna cook?" I said, smiling cheekily.

He grimaced, "How about I clean?"

I clapped my hands together, excited, "Sounds good.  In fact, that sounds fantastic.  That sounds incredible.  That sounds like the best idea I've ever heard."

He watched me in amusement, a smile tugging at his lips, "Now I'm nervous."

"Why?" I asked, pouting.

"It's never a good thing when you're that excited about me taking over work.  How much cleaning is there?"

"Depends on how big of a mess you make," I laughed.

He smiled, adjusting himself in the seat and letting out a sigh.

"When is the food gonna be ready?" he groaned.

"He said 6:30.  5 more minutes."

He rolled his eyes, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

I looked out the window.  A girl walked by, and for minute, I thought the way I imagine bullies think.  I looked at that girl and I didn't see a human, I saw a body and nothing more.  I looked at her and thought how much prettier she was than me, and how everyone was so much prettier than me, and I thought, what the hell is wrong with me?

"Why are you so ugly?" I asked myself under my breath.

"What?" Khalid questioned turning to me, eyes suddenly a little angry, "What did you say?"

"Nothing," I mumbled.

"Love," he said, giving me a sharp look, "What did you just say?"

"Doesn't matter," I whispered.

"Did you just say that you are ugly?" he asked, now giving up the hope of getting me to confess it.

I just looked away.

One thing I was proud of was my honesty.  I hadn't lied in many years, and this, like many other things, I owed to Abu.  Growing up, Abu tolerated almost anything except dishonesty.  Because of this, I had been brought up to believe that lying was one of the worst things a person could do.  I didn't want to lie to Khalid, so I just didn't answer.

I wasn't going to betray the father that was no longer here.

"Don't say that ever again," he murmured, turning my face towards him, "You are beautiful.  So beautiful.  And I don't know how you can be blind to that."

Again, I didn't answer.