Sunflowers

Grieving and Ghosts

It was hard, those first few days after Ash died. The Scamander girl, Phaerie, drifted from class to class, unable to focus on anything. She barely ate, and Thia wasn't sure she slept much. Her brother threw himself into his work, rarely showing his face at meals. Lily was the same, except she earned her first detention that same week, for hexing Sirius Black.

Teddy spent most of his time with Thia. She seemed to take Ash's death the hardest of the five, retreating into a space in her mind that no one else could reach. At night, she barely slept unless she took Dreamless Sleep. Often, Lily would slip into bed with her, and those were the nights she slept best. 

~

"You five have been invited to the funeral. It's on Saturday morning at 11. If you wish to go, meet me here by 10:50 at the latest." Professor McGonagall looked between the students. What she saw made her heart ache all the more. Phaerie Scamander was a ghost of her formal self, her once-lively brown eyes now dull. Phoenix had one arm protectively draped over her shoulder, a steely fire in his eyes. They watched her.

Lily and Teddy sat on either side of Thia. Teddy held Phoenix's hand, his eyes focused on the blonde beside him. Lily watched the professor with eyes of green, faded and wet. Thia's eyes were blank, empty, unfocused. Teddy tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Minerva sighed, "You're excused from classes for the rest of the week if you wish. Remember the Healer is in the Hospital WIng if you feel the urge to talk." She turned away, dabbing at tears.

The older kids nodded, helping each other to their feet. Thia stayed where she was, her hands gripping the chair so tight her knuckles were white. Teddy frowned, trying to get her to stand. 

"Thia? It's time to go now." She didn't move, didn't blink. She didn't even seem to breathe.

Minerva rounded the desk, panic clawing up her throat. She handed the boy a ruby red pass, saying "Teddy, take this to Madam Pomfrey and ask for the Draught of Peace." She kneeled in front of the girl, tapping her knee gently, "Miss Simmons? Are you alright? Seollean-Meala?"

Thia didn't respond. Her eyes shone with unshed tears. Minerva pulled her wand from her sleeve, casting a silent charm. Soon, a silver cat with spectacle markings was in front of her. It butted Thia's chin, rubbed against her legs. She blinked, her eyes focusing again. Her grip loosened, and she slumped in her chair.

"What... what happened?" Thia asked in a quivering voice. Minerva sat in the chair beside her, keeping the patronus around. The little witch leaned into her, letting her warp her arms around her. She was shaking, like a leaf in the Whomping Willow.

"I don't know, Seollean-Meala." 

"What does that mean? You keep calling me it."

"It means 'honeybee' in Scots Gaelic. One of the first words I learned." Teddy arrived with the potion, and Minerva let the patronus disappear, "I call you that because when you were a wee thing, you would run around pretending to be a bee."

Thia smiled sadly, "You knew me when I was small?"

Minerva nodded, "Your father was a fellow prefect during school. We became good friends after we left. Drink this." Thia swallowed the honey-and-lavender-flavoured potion, feeling the tension leave her skull.

"Thank you, Professor." Minerva smoothed the child's hair gently.

"Think about visiting that Healer, yes? They may know what happened."

~

"Hello." The Healer was dressed in blue with brown hair and coppery eyes. Thia settled into the empty chair, her eyes focused on the things on the table. There was a muggle set of playing cards, a pad of paper, some pencils, and a bowl of chocolates.

"My name is Alex. What's yours?" Thia looked up briefly. 

"Thia." Alex leaned forward, studying her.

"Were you good friends with Astraea?" She shook her head, wrapping her arms around her middle. Her eyes were focused on a small dot of ink on the desk.

"I only met her at the end of last year, but..." Thia swallowed harshly.

"But?"

"I found her." 

"Ah," Alex picked up the cards, shuffling them, "Do you know any card games?"

"'Go Fish'." The healer dealed out the cards.

"You can start. How are you feeling today?" 

"Do you have any aces?" Alex handed her a card, "I don't know. I froze earlier."

"What do you mean froze? Any sevens?" Thia shook her head.

"Professor McGonagall was talking about Ash's funeral. I couldn't breathe. Couldn't really see. Jacks?"

"Go Fish. Have you ever had an anxiety attack before?"

"Yes," Thia looked up through her lashes, setting down her cards, "I was diagnosed with PTSD five years ago." 

Alex followed suit, "Can you tell me why?"

Panic gripped her throat, but she forced it down. With a deep breath, she began.

~

"Augustus? Are you here?" Thia walked through the portrait gallery. Her footsteps echoed againts the stones, and for a moment it sounded as if someone walked beside her.

"Hello, child." The ghost appeared in front of her, "Did you ever find Ash?"

Thia nodded, not meeting his eyes, "Yeah. Yeah, I did. Augustus, she's... she's dead."

Silence filled the space between them. She couldn't be sure, but Thia swore that Augustus's silver glow dimmed.

"Oh."

"She hung herself in the girls' bathroom." Yes, she was right. Augustus's glow was definitely dimmer. He sat down, patting the floor beside him.

"May I tell you how I died?" Thia nodded, "I was a Slytherin, one of the first ever. But I was a disappointment, to my house and my family. I was bullied for it, and even though other students from other houses saw it, they did not do anything. I began to feel worthless, pathetic, and all the things my bullies called me. 

"One night, I was up in the Astronomy Tower during my seventh year, sitting on the ledge. A bully by the name of Julius Pierce, now known as the Bloody Baron, came up behind me and pushed. By the time the teachers heard my scream, Julius was already back in the Common Room. No one was ever caught, or framed, or cared. Of course, my family acted as they did, but it was all a farce, a play for attention. They finally chalked it up to suicide."

Thia looked up at the ghost boy, who smiled sadly, saying, "I told Ash this, back when I first met her. I thought maybe it would release me from here, but then I saw how broken she was. I stayed, in the hopes I could help her. Now, I think it is time for me to go. Remember my story, child."

And before her eyes, Augustus Black faded away.

~
A/N - Sorry this is late (again). I was... Okay, I don't have a good excuse. I just couldn't pull myself away from Rick Riordan's writing. Sorry! 

Later, loves!

Evie