Comfort (Dream X GeorgeNotFound)

Reassurance

The only thing he could think about was how to find out the answer to his question. His mind kept circling back to it, no matter how much he tried to distract himself, running laps around the irritating feeling of just not knowing what Clay felt.

The calm night did little to clear his thoughts on the way home. Curious questions and nagging insecurities nestled deep into his brain didn't ease off even as he watched Clay pour out the bag of kernels onto a buttered pan in the apartment.

"So... Uh." George wasn't too sure how to approach the subject. Talking about seemed like the healthy way to go forward, so he figured he'd spit it out before his insecurities got the best of him. "Clay, what exactly do you feel for me?"

He watched the movements momentarily stop, although resuming pace shortly after. As much as Clay tried to hide it on his face, his hands gave away his sudden anxiety by the way they stiffened a little.

Slowly, he lowered the pan and turned his head to look George in the eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what you heard, Clay."

The answer came hastily, the eagerness to finally know the truth showing through the cracks of the faltering casualness. The hesitation worried George a little, but the practice of keeping his emotions under wraps his whole life was coming in handy.

He had to find a way to drain out the stress building up inside of him, though. He'd just drawn the inside of his cheek between his teeth when he abruptly stopped. Clay knew about the nervous habit, and would realize George was fidgeting if he saw.

"George, you know you mean a lot to me." Just as the uncertainty in Clay's voice had appeared, it had faded right back out. This time, he turned his whole body in George's direction, properly facing him. "Why the sudden question?"

Neither of them knew the answer to that. Not even George, who had prompted this whole conversation.

"I mean..." Unable to find any other activity to focus on, he took to picking at a small scratch on the counter. "Is that it? I just mean a lot?"

Clay took a few steps to close the distance between them, holding up George's head by cupping either side of his face to make eye contact. The bare gaze would be too intense for George to keep up with, but he really had no choice. He had initiated the conversation, and he'd set his mind on finally picking up the loose pieces and getting closure.

"George, I know somehing's bothering you." The anxiety and tension between them slowly started to fade away as Clay gently traced little lines on George's skin with his finger. "You can talk to me about it."

George let out a long involuntary sigh. He was secretly relieved deep down, though, having his first brush with what a healthy relationship looked like. An alien concept to him, but something he strived for with every atom in his body.

He placed his hands on top of Clay's, finally regaining the strength to straighten up and give him a genuine look. "I just... I guess I just need reassurance once in a while. Forget about it."

The line he'd used in all his relationships. The easy way out - to forget and walk away and never mention it again. It was what he was used to, denying and denying all his issues until they'd piled up into a huge unpleasant heap, towering over him and blocking out the sun, bathing him in permanent shade.

But Clay was different. He'd never walked away, or forgotten, or pretended their problems were nonexistent. And now wasn't any different. Instead, he pressed a soft kiss to George's forehead. It was sweet, gentle, caring. Everything that was needed at the moment.

"Let's not forget it, actually. George, if reassurance is what you need..." Clay's comforting words were the only thing filling the silence in the room. The quiet meant that there were no distractions, leaving only the conversation to focus on. George wasn't sure if he was into the idea too much, but he'd have to try. For Clay. "Then reassurance is what you'll get. George, you've made me the happiest I've ever been in years. So when I tell you you mean a lot to me, I'm telling the truth."

George looked up at the man holding him with nothing short of awe and admiration in his gaze. The words that he had encountered countless times in movies and what little books he had read, being spoken to him. Touching the person that meant the most to him. Genuine, heartfelt words being spoken to him.

"You're just... You're so amazing, George. And if telling you that every day is what it takes, so be it." Clay's eyes danced from George's eyes down to his nose, then his lips. "I don't want to lose you."

George wasn't sure whether it was the genuine words of affection being spoken to him or being so overwhelmed with emotions he couldn't speak, but he tugged the man in front of him into a soft kiss.

It was gentle, innocent. Everything that he couldn't put into words, conveyed through a kiss. Filled to the brim with feelings of passion and neverending yearning, the sparks he used to get from the first touches back when they'd first met never having fizzled out, only growing stronger.

George wasn't sure how long it had been when Clay drew back for some air, but his head was clouded and swirling, intoxicated with the sweet touch.

They let the moment linger for a while, disentangling after it had passed.

Clay turned back to the pan he'd been holding before the conversation, turning up the heat on the stove. "I'm really glad you talked to me about this."

George watched him quickly cover it with a lid as soon as the first kernel popped, occasionally shaking them around above the fire in order to keep them from burning.

After a few minutes, the popping sounds had died down, so Clay dumped the pan upside down into a bowl.

George grabbed a handful, almost immediately throwing the popcorn back as the freshly popped kernels burnt his hand.

Clay just seemed amused at George's misfortune, looking at him with nothing short of admiration in his eyes. It was bizzarre, George thought, how he was capable of making someone feel the way he felt about them. How just a little random act had made them look at him like a child stares a new toy in a glass display at the store. Admiration, curiosity, wanting.

The prickly insecurity had been completely washed out by a new, pleasant warmth bubbling up inside him, fluttering and jumping at every little touch they shared. It didn't go away as they settled into the couch to watch a movie, and throughout it.

George felt invincible - he'd finally found someone that understood. Someone who'd dug up the roots of the problem they were facing and ripped it apart. And at that moment, he promised himself he'd do the same if Clay ever needed him by his side.

_________

A/N:

Have I started a third DreamNotFound book in my drafts even though I have two published ones that still need to be finished? Yes, yes I have. I have no shame.