Corrupted, Damaged, And Beautiful

T H I R T Y S I X

Daisy

All thoughts about his brothers wedding were consuming Nate like mad. He was already obsessively stressed about Robert, and now he had this hanging over him.

"Baby, are you okay?" I asked as I walked up to him staring into the midnight sky on the balcony.

I'd just put Hope to bed so it was just us two, hopefully he'd open up now she wasn't here. I'd tried all week and he'd either refused or brushed it off. Yet, I knew how he was feeling; I could read him like a book.

"Hmm? I'm fine" he shrugged, before turning back away from me.

Trying not to lose it with him, and trying not to let my hormones control my emotions, I suppressed the anger boiling inside. I just wanted him to talk to me.

"But Nate-"

"But nothing. I'm fine" he looked back at me, and his face pained when he saw how much he upset me.

I could already imagine the expression on my face at his firm words.

"Oh fuck, baby I'm so sorry"

He put his whiskey on the small table and stepped over to grab my face between his hands. "I just, don't know what to say" he shook his head as he exhaled and shut his eyes.

"I know, I just want you to tell me how you're feeling. Every little emotion - no matter how confusing - I want to hear it. I want to help" I whispered, trying not to cry. My hormones really were getting the better of me recently.

"Don't cry"

"I'm not" I said, my voice breaking as I did.

"You are" he wiped my tears, staring into the depths of my eyes, before eventually talking.

"I feel guilty. I feel angry. I feel betrayed. And worst of all, I feel I'm betraying them"

Them?

"Who?"

"My parents. Mainly mom, but I know dad wishes we were still the same two brothers that did everything together and trusted each other."

My heart broke at his words. He didn't want to let his parents down and, for that, I felt pride. Pride in him and myself for finding such a gentle, caring man who was completely selfless. He was amazing.

"Nate, your parents understand you know. Whether they show it or not. They're just human, and being human means wanting your family as a whole. But they will also understand and not blame you for not wanting to go"

"I just really want to let everything go and go back to normal" he sighed, pushing his head against my own. He was hurting and he needed a bit of love.

"Then do it" I shrugged, knowing full well that without explaining he was going to wonder what on Earth I was on about.

"Huh?"

"Nate, all you have to do is take baby steps. Try building that relationship up again. I'm not saying you have to trust him again, but you could build a bond with him again. You could try"

He looked at me with so much emotion for a second, that I thought he was going to laugh at me for suggesting such a stupid thing. But instead, he slowly sunk his lips onto mine and sucked, nipped, and licked at them until they were puffy, swollen and red.

"If I try, I want you with me. If I go to this wedding tomorrow, I want you with me. You and Hope. By my side." He confessed breathless, panting.

"Like I wasn't going to come? Baby do you know me? I love dressing up"