i'm only human 2//matthew espinosa

Chapter 4

When i got home Camille greeted me. Marcus was passed out on the couch.

"Fight?" I asked, she turned the corner of her mouth up.

"Fight." She replied. I walked into the kitchen and picked up a water. Camille was 25, my older sister, and so could look after me. Sometimes she found herself looking after 19 year old Marcus too. My mom and dad died in a car crash about 7 years ago.

"Why?" I asked.

"Two drunk boys supporting opposite things aren't usually a good mix" She replied softly. We were used to his aggressive behaviour.

I went to walk out when she stopped me.

"Hey Goldie?" She said using my nickname.

"Chameleon" I replied.

"Are you okay?" She asked politely. I wanted to say no and cry and be honest. Instead i replied with

"Of course why wouldn't i be?" and smiled slightly.

"I heard you last night" She said sighing.

"Yeah just got angry at a teacher, i think Marcus is rubbing off on me" I said trying to make a joke.

"You can talk to me when you want you know" But with the stress of her having to look after me and my brother and a job, you don't need that Cam.

"I know, thanks" I smiled.

She smiled back and opened the cupboard.

"What would you like for dinner?" She asked.

"You know what Cam, i had a big lunch i mean it was burger day" I said.

"Don't be silly, you need to eat come -"

"no" i interrupted.

"what?" she asked closing the cupboards.

"just leave me alone, i have said i dont want anything leave. I don't need your fucking help" I shouted.

I heard Marcus wake up. I looked into the living room and watched him rub his eyes. I looked back at Camille.

"I am trying to be nice Matt" She said. "things are hard for all of us" she replied her eyes becoming glossy.

"times aren't fucking hard if you just left me alone. Stop annoying me about everything and thinking you know whats best for me. Your'e not my fucking mom and you never will be" I shouted loudly.

Marcus ran over. He didn't know what was going on but he knew i was mad. I didn't know why i was shouting at Camille she literally just told me to eat.

Marcus grabbed my from under the arms and picked me up. My legs were kicking everywhere until he finally put me down.

"let me go you bastard" I shouted in his face.

"Don't speak to me or Camille like that. It's about time you got your act together you fucking punk" He replied.

"Fuck you!" I shouted before running up the stairs. I slammed the door and began kicking the back of it. I then clenched my fists and began banging them against the door too.

I took out my phone and was going to call Carter. I scrolled through my contact and saw "Allison" I clicked it and sent a message.

'Hey Alli! Is this your number, I think it is but i probably entered it in wrong! Anyway i just wanted to apologise oh and its me Matt' just sending this made me feel better.

I didn't bother texting Carter, his dad is a dick who wont let me come over anyway. About 10 minutes later i saw my phone light up from across the room.

'No Matt, this is an axe murderer" i smiled. Something hit me. In the chest, it didn't hurt though it didn't feel good. I suddenly felt myself liking Alli. I liked her a lot. 'Well Hello axe murderer do you know this Alli?' I sent back.

'jk it's me Alli' i could imagine her sitting at home typing this smiling awkwardly. 'Well Alli i am sorry' i sent.

'I shouldn't of been a bitch. i'm just not the happiest kid, ya get me?' I felt bad. I understood. I know exactly how she feels. I heard a knock on my door. 'I get ya, speak later gotta go".

I threw the phone in my pocket and jumped on my bed in a sleeping position. I faced the wall and closed my eyes. I heard someone walk in. It was Camille. She began picking things up from the floor. I heard her putting things down in proper places.

She sat on the end of my bed, careful not to sit on my legs.

"I'm sorry Goldie" She said i could hear her choke on tears.

"Oh dear Lord help me" She whispered. She began to cry, i turned a bit more into the pillow.

"I want to help them. I can't let them go through anymore pain. I just don't know how. Oh God why aren't you helping me. I need you. We all do. Go- Matt especially. I know somethings going on i just dont know what. I want him to be happy God i do. Marcus needs to stop being so aggressive and help too. Please Lord please" She begged through cries. She sat for about another minute wiping her eyes quietly.

Eventually she walked out and i felt my heart break. It broke into a million pieces. I decided to pray myself.

"Dear God. Why don't you help us? Please. I can't hurt anymore. I want to be happy, I want Cam to be happy, I want Marcus to be happy and I want Alli to be happy. I don't know what to do?
Please Lord show me strength. Help" I whispered. I felt tears slowly roll down my cheeks. I wiped them away and went asleep.

***

'Good Morning! <3' I sent.

This was the first thing i done. I then got ready quickly and continued my usual routine. I went downstairs and saw Cam in the kitchen.

I creeped behind her and hugged her. She was firstly startled then she turned around.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.

"I love you" I smiled.

"Iove you too" She smiled back. She then ran her fingers through my hair. I shook my head and fixed it.

"breakfast?" She asked.

"what is it?" I asked.

"The chefs special" she smirked.

"What may that be?" I asked.

"Toasted bread, topped with hazelnut spread supreme" She laughed.

"nutella on toast?" I laughed back and she nodded.

"Make it nutella on bread?" I smiled.

"Anything Goldie" she smirked reaching for the pot of nutella.

I walked out the kitchen to go and get my bag.

"spud calm?" I heard Marcus say from the living room, referring to last night.

"don't you have some college class to skip, or some girl to fuck?" I asked.

"Piss off" He snarled.

I walked back into the kitchen laughing. Camille looked at me sternly.

"What?" I asked laughing still.

"Be nice to Marcus, you know what he's like?" She said handing me the food.

"Fine." I said and stopped laughing.

"Well going to hell bye" i said walking out.

"Have a nice time, tell the devil i said hi?" She smirked.

"Will do, see ya" I laughed and walked out.

(A/N) ITS 4:42AM RIGHT NOW. I would usually be fangirling or on twitter ( i am now @_okayash btw) but i felt like i needed to post this. Its a little bit of background to Matthews life.

Thankyou so much for 57 reads and 3 votes on the last chapter, which i only published like 6 hours ago. I love you guys a lot.

Anyways i have some fangirling to do so this is it for the night. I also go back to school in like three days so i might suck a bit idk.. sorry ily. Stay Strong.

- T