Modern Day Breakfast Club

The Pressure

   We moved to the front of the library where we formed a circle, leaving at least a foot between each other, Cassandra sat next to Bram who sat by Alan then Abby, me, then Brent, Cassandra had just asked Alan what he would do for a million dollars to which he asked, "What would I do for a million bucks? I guess as little as I had to."
   "That's boring," Cassandra exclaimed while laughing.
   "How am I supposed to answer?" Alan asked laughing along with her.
   "The idea is to search your mind for the absolute limit, like, would you drive to school naked?" Cassandra asked, explaining the question.
   "Would I have to get out of the car?" he wondered in return.
   "Of course," she answered back.
   "In the spring or winter?" Alan questioned.
   "Doesn't matter, Spring," she replied.
   "In the front or back of school?"
   "Either one."
   "Yes," he admitted with a laugh making Abby smile.
   "I'd do it, I'll do anything sexual, I don't need a million dollars either," Abby added in but I knew she was lying the second it came out of her mouth.
   "You're lying," Cassandra rolled her eyes playfully.
   "I already have, I've done just about everything except a few things that are illegal, I'm a nymphomaniac," Abby claimed.         
   "Liar," Cassandra let out.
   "Are your parents aware of this?" Bram asked with wide eyes.
   "The only person I told was my shrink."
   "What did he do when you told him?" Alan asked.
   "He nailed me," Abby laughed.
   "Very nice," Cassandra said with a look of disgust spread across her face.
   "I don't think, from a legal standpoint, what he did can be construed as rape since I paid him," Abby sighed.
   "He's an adult," Cassandra protested.
   "Yeah, he's married too," Abby laughed again.
   "Ugh, do you have any idea how completely gross that is?" Cassandra asked still having that disgusted look plastered on her face.
   "Well, the first few times -" Abby started but was interrupted by Cassandra.
   "The first few times? You mean he did it more than once?"
   "Sure," Abby answered simply.
   "Are you crazy?"
   "Obviously she's crazy, she's screwing her shrink," Bram butted in.
   "Have you ever done it?" Abby asked Cassandra.
   "I don't even have a psychiatrist," Cassandra shoved the question off but I knew no one was gonna let her get away with not answering the question.
   "Have you ever done it with a normal person?" Abby questioned.
   "Didn't we already cover this?" Cassandra asked trying to avoid answering.
   "You never answered the question," Brent said quietly.
   "I won't discuss my private life with total strangers," Cassandra insisted.
   "It's kind of a double-edged sword," Abby admitted.
   "A what?" Cassandra asked, seeming very confused.
   "Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude, if you say you have, you're a slut, it's a trap, you want to, but you can't, then when you do, you wish you didn't, right?" Abby explained.
   "Wrong," Cassandra claimed.
   "Or are you a tease?" Abby suggested.
   "She's a tease," Alan answered for Cassandra.
   "I'm sure, why don't you forget it?" Cassandra asked getting very frustrated.
   "You're a tease and you know it, all girls are teases," Alan claimed.
   "Not all of them," Brent said, surprising me, "She's only a tease if what she does gets you hot."
   "I don't do anything!" Cassandra exclaimed.
   "That's why you're a tease," Abby said.
   "Let me ask you something," Cassandra murmured to Abby, still frustrated.
   "I already told you everything," Abby replied.
   "Doesn't it bother you to sleep around without being in love? Don't you want respect?" Cassandra asked, not ready for the argument that she just started.
   "I don't screw to get respect, that's the difference between you and me," Abby told her.
   "Hope that's not the only difference," Cassandra sighed and rolled her eyes.
   "Face it, you're a tease," Brent murmured.
   "I'm not a tease!" Cassandra protested.
   "Sure you are, sex is your weapon, you said it yourself, you use it to get respect," Brent replied looking back at what she said and having a point.
   "I never said that, she twisted my words around," Cassandra said pointing to Abby.
   "What do you use it for then?" Brent asked.
   "I don't use it period!" Cassandra yelled.
   "Oh, are you medically frigid or is it psychological?" he wondered, having a tint of sarcasm roaming in his voice.
   "I didn't mean it that way, you're putting words into my mouth!" Cassandra replied.
   "Just answer the question, I did," Bram said calmly to Cassandra making her calm down and look at him with an expression I couldn't really determine.
   "No I never did it," she said quietly.
   "I never did it either, I'm not a nymphomaniac, I'm a compulsive liar," Abby admitted with a small smile but I could tell she felt a little guilty.
   "You are such a bitch! You did that on purpose just to fuck me over," Cassandra yelled getting very upset in the process making me feel bad.
   "I would do it, if you love someone, it's okay," Abby let out quietly looking up at Alan who was looking at her with a caring expression.
   "I can't believe you, you're so weird, you don't say anything all day, then, when you open your mouth you unload all these tremendous lies all over me," Cassandra said hitting the ground next to her with her hand.
   "You're just pissed off because she got you to admit to something that you didn't want to admit to," Alan said, unsurprisingly siding with Abby.
   "Fine, but that doesn't make it any less bizarre," Cassandra responded.
   "What's bizarre? I mean we're all pretty bizarre, some of us are better at hiding it that's all," Alan said looking down at his hands that were laying in his lap.
   "How are you bizarre?" 
   "He can't think for himself," Abby answered for him.
   "She's right, know what I did to get in here? I taped Leo Learner's buns together," Alan said laughing a bit but I knew it wasn't real.
   "That was you?" Bram asked with wide eyes.
   "You know him?" Alan asked in return.
   "Yeah, I know him," Bram answered looking a little sad.
   "Then you know how hairy he is, when they pulled the tape off...most of his hair and some skin came too," Alan said looking very sad.
   "Oh, my God..." Cassandra said and looked down then Alan continued.
   "And the bizarre thing is that I did it for my old man, I tortured this poor kid because I wanted him to think I was cool...he was always going off about when he was in school...all the wild things he used to do...I got the feeling he was disappointed that I never cut loose on anyone, right? So I'm sitting in the locker room...and I'm taping up my knee...and Leo's undressing a couple lockers down from me...and he's kind of...he's kind of skinny, weak.
   "I started thinking about my father...and his attitude about weakness, the next thing I knew I jumped on top of him and started wailing on him, my friends just laughed and cheered me on, and afterwards...when I was sitting in Vernon's office...all I could think about...was Leo's father...and Leo having to go home...and explain what happened to him..." Alan let a tear fall from his eyes, he was getting upset, it was like I could feel exactly what he was feeling...
   "And the humiliation...the fucking humiliation he must have felt, it must have been unreal, how do you apologize for something like that? There's no way...it's all because of me and my old man...God, I fucking hate him, he's like this...he's like this mindless machine I can't relate to anymore...'Alan! You've got to be number one! I won't tolerate any losers in this family, your intensity is for shit! Win! Win! Win!' son of a bitch...
   "You know, sometimes, I wish my knee would give, then I wouldn't be able to wrestle anymore, then he could forget all about me..." by this time Cassandra, Bram, Abby, and Alan were crying and Brent was just staring at the ground but I bit my lip trying to keep the pain from being noticed.
   "I think your old man and my old man should get together and go bowling," Brent let out.
   "Like with my grades...like when I step outside of myself, and I look back and see me...I don't like what I see...I really don't..." Bram admitted.
   "What's wrong with you? Why don't you like yourself?" Cassandra asked, genuinely curious but worried about him.
   "Sounds stupid, but...because I'm failing shop, we had this assignment, you know...to make this ceramic elephant and when you pull the trunk, the light goes on, like a lamp...well, my light didn't go on, I got an "F" on it...I've never gotten an "F" in my life, when I signed up for the course...I thought I was playing it smart, that it would be an easy way to keep up my grade point average..." Bram replied.
   "Why'd you think it'd be easy?" Brent asked.
   "I dunno, I guess I just thought that since it wasn't an academic course that it would be easy, but I was a dumbass for thinking that," Bram admitted then kept going, "I know it's kind of a weird time, but I was just wondering what will happen on Monday? When we're all together again, I consider you guys my friends, am I wrong?"
   "No," Alan said quietly.
   "So on Monday, what happens?" Bram asked.
   "If we're still friends, you mean? If we're friends now?" Cassandra asked.
   "Yeah," Bram answered.
   "Want the truth?" Cassandra wondered.
   "Yeah, I want the truth," Bram nodded and prepared for her reply.
   "I don't think so."
   "With all of us or just Brent?" Abby asked.
   "With all of you," she answered making me for some reason feel hurt and a little betrayed.
   "That's a real nice attitude, Cassandra," Alan said sounding pretty pissed off by her reply.
   "Oh, be honest, Alan, if Bram came up to you on Monday, what would you do? Picture this, you're there with all the jocks, you know exactly what you'd do, you'd say hi and when he left you'd talk shit about him so your friends wouldn't think you really liked him," Cassandra inferred.
   "Fuck no," Alan said making Bram look at him with amazement.
   "Okay, what if I came up to you?" Abby asked Cassandra still having tears in her eyes from what Alan had said earlier about his father.
   "The same exact thing," she admitted which internally pissed me off but I just sat there not doing or saying a thing, Brent must have seen right through it cause after I felt  his eyes on me he yelled.
   "You are a bitch!"
   "Why? Because I'm telling the truth, that makes me a bitch?" Cassandra asked, yelling herself.
   "No! 'Cause you know how shitty that is to do to someone and you don't have the balls to stand up to your friends," Brent fired back.
   "What about you, you hypocrite? Why don't you take Abby to a heavy metal vomit party, take Bram or Alan out to the parking lot to get high. Or Casey? What would your friends say if you were walking down the hall together? They'd laugh their asses off, you'd say you were doing it, so they'd forgive you," I looked over at Brent who was enraged and I knew the exact reason why.
   "Don't talk about my friends! You don't know them, you don't look at them and you certainly wouldn't condescend to speak to them, just stick to what you know: shopping, nail polish, your father's BMW, your drunk mother in the Caribbean -" Brent said but was interrupted by Cassandra.
   "Shut up!"
   "Just bury your head and wait for your fucking prom!" Brent yelled back at her.
   "I hate you!" she screamed.
   "Yeah? Good!" Brent replied.
   "I assume Abby, Casey, and I are better people than you guys? Us weirdo's?" Bram asked, "Would you do that to me?"
   "I don't have any friends," Abby admitted.
   "Well, if you did?" Bram replied.
   "No,  I don't think my kind of friends would mind," Abby said with a smile.
   "I just want to tell each of you that I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't and I will not because I think that's real shitty," Bram responded and I agreed with every word he said.
   "Your friends wouldn't mind because they look up to us," Cassandra said selfishly only thinking of herself and her huge ego.    
   "You're so conceited, Cassandra, you're so full of yourself, why?" Bram asked getting a little upset.
   "I'm not saying that to be conceited, I hate having to go along with everything my friends say," Cassandra said and started crying.
   "Then why do you do it?" Bram asked.
   "I don't know, I don't -you don't understand...you don't -you're not friends with the people Alan and I are friends with, you don't understand the pressure they can put on you," Cassandra said still crying.
   "I don't understand what? You think I don't understand pressure? Well, fuck you! Fuck you!" Bram had his arm covering his face wiping away tears and asked quietly, "You know why I'm here today? Do you? I'm here...because...Carl found a gun in my locker."
   "Why'd you have a gun?" Alan asked looking at Bram with a concerned expression as he uncovered his face.
   "I tried, you pull the fucking trunk...and the light's supposed to go on, it didn't go on, I mean, I -" Alan interrupted Bram.
   "What's the gun for?"
   "...I can't have an 'F', I can't have it...and I know my parents can't have it, even if I ace the rest of the semester...I'm still only a 'B', everything's ruined for me..." Bram trailed off.
   "Bram," Cassandra said quietly in a guilty tone of voice.
   Bram punch the stool next to him making it fall over and said, "Considering my options, you know?"
   "No killing yourself is not an option," Cassandra said softly.
   "Well I didn't do it, did l! No, I don't think so," Bram said still crying a little.
   "It was a handgun?" Abby asked.
   "Flare gun," Bram admitted.
   Everyone including Bram started laughing except me, which lightened the mood and it lightened even more when Abby asked, "Know what I did to get in here? Nothing, I didn't have anything better to do."
   When everyone started laughing she said, "You're laughing at me."
   "No," Alan said while laughing.
   "Yeah, you are," Abby laughed along with him.
   "Well, there's only one person left...Casey?" Alan said, this conversation was going to go down hill very quickly, I felt my heart start to beat quicker and took a deep breath.