𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 (𝙱𝚃𝚂 𝙵𝙰𝙼𝙸𝙻𝚈 𝚂𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚂 #𝟷)

Chapter 33

Zaria's POV.

I was facing the window, backing the door. Rachael just left after trying to get me to eat. My parents tried to see me again but I didn't want to see them. I never want to see them.

The guys rarely came because school would be resuming soon and they were really busy. Ada came with them sometimes but she just hid in the shadows and said nothing. I didn't want to speak to her either. Joel on the other hand made enough time to see me. Rachel told me he would be here soon.

I tried my best to forget what happened to me but I couldn't. It was already scarred to me. Thankfully I was given the pro sex drug to prevent me from getting any sexually transmitted disease or even get pregnant. But the most painful part of all of it is that I was stripped of my innocence. I wouldn't have imagined loosing my virginity at the age of 17.

I sighed as tears brimmed in my eyes.

I've been given a therapist who came every Monday and Friday to check up on me. I didn't mind. My mental state was pretty questionable at this time. I've been having relapses about that day, flashbacks, nightmares. Voices in my head that were telling I will loose everything and everyone.

Joel.

No, Joel will never leave me. I tried to sound confident but I was terrified that it might be true.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that when you know deep down in your mind that he will leave. The voice was back.

The opening of the door jolted me out of my thoughts. I looked over my shoulder and saw Joel making his way towards me with a nylon from Shop rite. He smiled at me but I looked away. He came to my side and sat by my side.

"Hey..." He moved closer to me and stroked my arm. I didn't return his gesture. I'm sure he noticed but chose to ignore it. He brought the nylon close to him and brought out a white paper bag.

"I got you cold stone. Your favourite flavour." He brought out the ice-cream. I sat up immediately.

Don't judge me. I can kill for cold stone.

"Chocolate?" I asked, sitting up. He chuckled, noticing my enthusiasm.

"Yup." He replied with a nod. Then brought out a packet. "I also got you chocolate." He added. I smiled but then the voice came back making me frown.

He is just feels sorry and pity for you. He will leave soon.

Joel noticed the change and placed what he brought on the bed side table.

"Hey, you okay?" He took my hand in his and gave the back of my palm gentle strokes with his thumb, looking at me intently.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked him.

"Doing what?" He looked confused.

"Checking up on me, bringing me gifts.... All of these. Why are you doing all of this?" I asked.

"Because I care about you. You of all people should know that by now." He replied with a smile.

"But it's just a matter of time before you leave. I mean, why would you want to be with me?" I looked away. I heard him scoff and I looked back at him. The smile had disappeared from his face and has been replaced with a frown.

"That's ridiculous. Why would I want to leave you?" He asked.

"Because I am already different. I'm broken. I'm not who I used to be. I'm a shadow of my former self. I'm cared you would leave because..."I sniffles and tears stung my eyes. "Because I'm no longer perfect. I have been scarred for life, Joel. I'm filthy...."