Through Fire And Water

Resigning

I felt like I had been in what was left of the floor for days, the room completely charred and in rubble around me. All was destroyed save the chunk of floor I was curled up on and the white door I had come through three total times.

Rey finally came in, fixing the room with the twitch of a finger and sitting carefully on the floor beside me. "I'm really sorry, Mira," he said quietly, looking at my hands, which were now shakily hugging my sides. "Truly. I didn't think this would happen. This is all my fault." He placed a hand gently onto mine, rubbing it with his thumb. "I should've seen this coming and prevented it. I promised to protect them all, after all. Please don't blame yourself."

Rey eased me up and hugged me tightly. My magic subsided so much so that it actually felt as if it was sleeping. My eyes filled with tears once again as I held him desperately, beginning to sob in both relief and fear.

"I'm a monster," I sobbed. "I'm a monster. I could have killed her. She could have died and it would have been all my fault! My best friend would have died at my hands!" I buried my face into his shoulder as he put a hand on my head. "It would have been all my fault."

Rey shushed me gently, rocking me from side to side and patting my back, letting me sob against his shoulder. I cried for so long that I fell asleep. I woke up in a canopy bed, Rey petting my head carefully beside me. I was still held tightly against his chest. I couldn't help but be comforted, as much as I hated it, by his presence.

"Are you hungry?" he asked softly, his chin bouncing on my head. "You can have whatever you want. You're probably thirsty, too, right?" He reached behind him and came back with a cold water bottle. "Here, sit up and drink this." He carefully sat up with me and I opened the water, taking careful sips. It was quiet for a moment before I lay back down, clutching the water bottle to my chest.

"You can stay here as long as you want," Rey said softly, brushing my hair out of my face. "This can and always will be your home. You don't have to be afraid of hurting anyone here. You're free to do as you wish."

I could feel that there was more he wasn't telling me. I didn't speak up about it. Eventually he leaned down and kissed my forehead, gently telling me to get some more rest before he left the room, closing the door softly behind him. Several minutes passed before I finally got up and went to the middle of the room.

My magic wasn't so angry now. It felt normal again, if normal was even safe. I pushed the thought away and gathered energy to my fingertips. My hands glowed purple and I felt a nostalgic smile come across my face. I remembered my time in ballet. The first dance I had ever learned was in that class and I can still clearly remember it to this day. I started dancing in the room, slow and careful. I closed my eyes and lost myself in remembering the movements from my childhood.

I tried not to think about why I stopped going to ballet classes.

Finally I was calmed and I opened my eyes, watching my power visibly fade from my hands and go back to the peaceful, content state it had been in before. I truly felt that I wasn't dangerous anymore, but now the feeling wasn't scary. It felt right, and even though some small part of my brain was telling me that that in of itself was wrong, I let myself feel safe. I still felt awful about what I had done to Anya, however, and I didn't think I could ever forgive myself for what I'd done to her. Yes, I thought to myself, I should stay here. If I ever hurt anyone like that ever again, it would destroy me. For their sake, I had to stay where I was, wherever I was. I didn't feel like adventuring yet, so I went back to my bed and sat carefully, taking another drink of water. My stomach rumbled.

"I'd kill for some pancakes right now," I mumbled to myself, smiling slightly. "With lots of butter and syrup. And covered in fruit. With a tall glass of milk on the side, and maybe even a little birthday cake." I felt my smile disappear. "Oh, right, I guess I can't really -"

A soft knock sounded at the door. Rey peaked inside, smiling softly as he opened the door to reveal a cart of food. He pulled it inside and wheeled it straight over to me, sitting beside me as my eyes landed on the food before me. It was just like every year had been since I had moved: pancakes covered in fruit and a birthday cake celebrated with Rey. We usually celebrated with his family as well, but now I wasn't even sure if those people were his family. I ignored the depressing thought and began to eat gratefully, smiling at the delicious taste. The pancakes had always been perfect.

I finished my pancakes and started eating my little cake, throughly enjoying the wonderful taste of it as I slowly ate it. I was nearly finished when Rey finally spoke.

"I have a present for you," he said, grabbing my attention. "And don't start with the 'you didn't have to'. It's not every day you turn eighteen. Today is special." I rolled my eyes but felt my excitement build nonetheless. Rey always got me a present on my birthday.

"Close your eyes," he told me, and, even though it annoyed me greatly, I set my cake down and did as he said. It was quiet for a long moment before he told me that I could open them.

My eyes widened at the sight. "I know this isn't the best time," Rey said shyly, his cheeks tinted pink. "And I know that it seems like I'm taking advantage of you, but I'm going to be perfectly honest when I tell you this: I love you. To me, you are perfection. To me, you are a goddess." The ring shimmered almost impossibly in the light of the room. "Nothing you could do would ever change how I feel about you, not what you say or what you do. You could use me to your heart's content and throw me away, but I would still love you. You could hit me, hate me, even spit on me, but I'd still worship the ground you walk on. I love you, Mira. More than anyone I've ever created. More than anything I've ever seen. So please, my dearest love, would you please do me the honor of marrying me?"

I felt every emotion drain out of me in an instant, leaving me empty and unsure of how to react. Part of me was screaming to say no, to leave, to run away and never return; But I had nowhere to go. Every time I ran from a home I ran to protect the ones I left behind, and now that I had no one to worry about staying away from, I was suddenly completely alone.

Yet and still another part of me told me that I needed to do this. For the sake of everyone I had run from in order to protect, I needed to keep them safe by marrying the one being that could actually protect them. This same part of me was desperate to finally feel safe, to feel somewhat normal. Rey could provide that any time, anywhere. I couldn't hurt him like I could hurt anyone else. Like I could hurt everyone else.

I looked back up into Rey's eyes. "Okay."