Divergent Future

Chapter 28

Tobias's POV

My alarm goes off, and I quickly cut it off before it wakes up Toby. I look over at him and let out a sigh of relief when I see that he's still sound asleep in his bed.

I lay back down on my pillow and stare up at the ceiling.

It took forever for my sleeping pill to take affect last night. So I was just laying there for an hour or two thinking about what happened last night.

Tris said that she's still in love with me.

The girl that I was so madly in love with in high school and was so heartbroken over while in California told me that she's still in love with me.

It made me realize how much has happened between us. Because when I was in California, I was still desperately in love with her, and it was so obvious to anyone that really knew me. But now, I'm questioning everything.

If Tris and I really are meant to be, then why have we been through obstacle after obstacle? Why does it feel like everything is trying to keep us apart?

I feel so confused. My mind is flooding with different scenarios and thoughts. I have no clue when I'm going to have a response for her.

I wish that I could tell her that I'm still in love with her. Because when I'm with her, and I look into those mesmerizing eyes of hers, it feels like we were never apart.

But every time I think about it, there's still a little nagging voice in the back of my head saying what if you and Tris aren't meant to be? What if you're going to get hurt again? This time even worse than the last? What if you're just impossible to love? Yeah, she might have said it, but does that mean it's true? Your mother claimed that she loved you a few times as a kid, especially when the police were dragging her out of the house. What if she doesn't actually mean it?

I shake my head a little to try and get the thoughts out. I don't want to think like that. I like to think that I know Tris, and if I really do know her, I know she wouldn't lie about something like this.

She has been hurt over and over by stupid guys which has made her have trouble with opening up and expressing feelings. Because she's afraid that if she's vulnerable, they'll take the shot and hurt her. So I believed her when she said that she was still in love with me.

She wouldn't put her heart out on the line if it wasn't true.

So now, it's up to me.

Am I still in love with Tris? The girl that I thought I would be with forever?

Or is that all in the past?

I know that I still have feelings for her because in the past few weeks, I've felt it. But does that mean that my feelings are strong enough for a relationship? What if my feelings are just for a friendship? Or what if they're brought on by some kind of bond through Toby? I'm sure that raising a kid together is going to cause some feelings.

I don't know. But I need to figure it out soon. Because I don't want to keep her waiting for very long.

I pick up my phone off of my nightstand and scroll through my notifications. I check a few of my social media pages, and then I find myself scrolling through my contacts until I get to Tris's.

Well, I do need to ask her a question anyway, so I might as well ask it now.

Me: Hey!! I remembered that we didn't talk about when you wanted Toby home. I was thinking about bringing him back sometime in between lunch and dinner. Maybe around 4:00? Unless you have plans and want him back earlier than that