Love Beyond Anaargis

chapter 7: status; in confusion

09th June, 2021

chapter 7: status; in confusion

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Four nights after the incident of the "dog — following — ice cream — adventure", I was sitting in front of my laptop, with assignment papers strewn across the desk before me. My room door was almost closed, but I could hear the chatter permeating through the air — Humrah didi's wedding was nearing, and we had a flood of guests. I was not in the mood for socialising beyond the polite smiles and salaam I had exchanged a few hours ago. To be honest, I wasn't even comfortable with most of them.

Adding a few preparation points to my new thesis in my room, I decided to truly focus on college work. A cup of sugarless red tea rested against the wooden table, it's bitter aroma rose into the air with the tell-tale wisps of the smell of early spring. The only sound I could hear was the tapping of keys and the usual night traffic on the roads around my apartment building.

If I listened hard enough, I could also probably hear the new baby next door and Ammi making dinner in the kitchen with a few aunties. But the voices in my head were louder. With each passing second, the worries I had accumulated swirled in my mind. Perhaps not worries, my mind immediately reasoned, they are little details about a certain someone who'd barged into your somewhat peaceful life. Literally.

Nani had moved back in her house, Ammi and Zurri khala's shop was running smoothly, college had resumed, Humrah didi's wedding was coming up, Safwana — my little sister — had just finished her school exams, Amirah and Falak were at my house, but probably managing a bunch of kids somewhere so I can focus on my thesis... but all I could think about was Shafaq Sultan.

"Get a grip over yourself, you've got stuff to do that's far more important." I whispered to myself, shaking my head to clear it.

Unusually, I listened to myself quicker than I expected, and the next two hours passed in complete silence as I met the deadline. It seemed like today was my day, I'd gotten all my college things organised thanks to Falak's planning skills and executed a fair amount of work.

But as dinner time rolled around after Isha prayer, I was glancing at my phone every time it made a cute chime for a random notification and everything came rushing back to my mind. The first fault of his — was throwing my precious phone into the dustbin. It had so many memories and notes that I wouldn't be able to access anymore. Though it infuriated me to the point that I felt tears accumulating in my eyes, a part of me knew that what he had done was right.

It was time to let go. But still... I would never be able to record voice notes for Naahil again.

That night four days ago played in my head again...

"Zahra, hello, you there?" Amirah snapped her fingers before my eyes. I blinked and looked at them, the phone still ringing in my hands. "Your phone, woman!"